


LIPS OF AN ANGEL

by RecklessSmiles



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Billy Hargrove Is Bad at Feelings, Billy Hargrove Redemption, Bisexual Steve Harrington, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Billy Hargrove, Hurt Steve Harrington, M/M, Phone Sex, Secret Lovers, Secret Relationship, Soulmates, Warning: this covers the topic of cheating and unfaithful relationships, friends to lovers to secret lovers to forever lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:07:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 48,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23802826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RecklessSmiles/pseuds/RecklessSmiles
Summary: "Hey bambi, have you ever heard the story about the sun and the moon?""Uh, no? I don't think so.""Well, one day, eons ago. The moon crossed paths with the sun. And the sun was so enamored by the moon's beauty that he wanted everyone to see it. Wanted everyone to know that he shared the same sky with such an amazing creature.But they couldn't see it while the sun shone so brightly. So he died, every night, just so the moon could shine. Because it was a sin to not let it shine, to let its beauty be known to the world.So even now the sun only gets to see the moon once in a while, every hundred years or so. But until they get to meet again he knows that they still share the same sky. That it's beauty gets to be praised by the world… you're my moon Steve.""Billy? I don't think I-""I'm willing to die just so you get to shine baby. Because you're too beautiful not to. You're too brilliant and too good for this shithole town to not get out there and shine.""Stop tiger, I can't. I already told you I'm not going to college. I can't leave you!""Baby, shhh. Hey, you're not leaving me"...
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Original Male Character(s), Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 57





	1. LIPS OF AN ANGEL - PART ONE -

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! It's me! Please read all the info here!  
> ***IMPORTANT INFO***  
> Okay so the way this story is written is with intermittent flashbacks/ changing perspective/ time changes. So to make it as less confusing as possible for you this is the cheat sheet. 
> 
> Flashbacks: All flashbacks are in italics between asterisks. Some flashbacks are dated to get a sense of time frame. 
> 
> Underscores: represent a perspective/ time shift 
> 
> Text messages: are underlined to separate them from speech.  
> ____________________  
> ****PLAYLIST INFO****  
> I put it in a specific order so pls don'tshuffle it :) I know everyone reads at a different pace but overall it coincides with the context of the story.  
> ** [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/68LhW6lj4kprm1OxPWFeNm?si=hyXm8jqtRZy2cqWdlGaj_Q)  
> **  
> 

****

*******

**July 2nd, 1986**

_“It’s gonna be a rad time Stevie! Just wait and see.”_

_Billy and Steve are leaning up against the camaro. They’re at the quarry, it’s twenty minutes after ten pm. The summer heat has them sweat slicked and praying for a cool night breeze. But not even the intense Indiana humidity keeps them apart. Hands interlocked and Steve had his head on Billy’s shoulder._

_“Whatever you say killer. Just no ferris wheel, okay?”_

_“What?” Steve, you’re kiddin’ me right? That’s prime makeout location.”_

_“Really? And who says I’m gonna let you kiss me to begin with?”_

_Billy looks at Steve as if he’s offended, Steve laughs. Billy loves his pretty boy’s laugh._

_“C’mon baby, don’t be like that. I’ll buy ya cotton candy.”_

_“Trying to bribe me for affection now, Hargrove?”_

_Steve teases him. So Billy shifts himself in front of Steve, presses him even more into the camaro. Slots a knee in between Steve’s thighs to keep him there. That smirk etched on his face, the one that still does something to Steve. Even though they've been together for two years now come November. It'll probably always do something to him, no matter how many times he sees it._

_“Seems that way pretty boy, seeing as how my charm ain’t workin no more.”_

_Steve chuckles, “what charm?”_

_“Christ, you’re being a real brat tonight ain't ya?”_

_There’s no bite, Billy says it with such warm affection. His eyes full of adoration for the boy in front of him._

_“Yeah, what're you gonna do about it tiger?”_

_“Mm, come closer baby and i’ll show ya what i’m gonna do.”_

*******

**April 14th, 1993**

"Steven?" 

A blonde woman called out as she was leaving a small boutique shop. She was carrying one too many shopping bags for her small frame. Steve had been leaning against the shop's window since she went in, lost in a memory. He snapped his eyes open when he heard his name, looking over to her.

"Right here babe." 

He pushed himself up off the wall to meet her. Taking some of the bags from her like a gentleman. She smiled up to him, with her dark blue eyes, thick eyelashes, and that blonde hair of hers hanging down in ringlets. She looks the exact opposite of Steve. Warm and light, tan and inviting. Steve looks like coal next to a diamond when he’s standing beside her like this.

“What were you doing? Looked like you fell asleep leaning against the window like that.” 

She asked him with an almost laugh.

“No, I was just thinking about something. An old memory.” 

“Something important?”

“No. Not really.” He played it off like he always does, though his voice is usually more convincing.

“Oh, okay then.” She gave him a tight smile. She’s so used to running into his walls, doesn’t even try to press him anymore. 

“Hey, why don’t we stop and get some coffee? There's supposedly a cafe up a head." She asked Steve.

"And who told you that?" Steve countered with a hard bite of criticism to his tone.

"The women from this shop. I told you before, If we don't ask around we'll never learn where places are. This city is too big." 

She patronized like she always does.

"Yeah, you're telling me. My feet are killing me Beth. Why couldn't we have taken the car if you wanted to shop?"

"Cause we would've driven past all these shops, silly!" 

"Would have saved a couple hundred too…" Steve scoffed.

"Hey! We need things for the new house!" 

"What? Your daddy didn't pay for the utensils? What a cheapskate!" Steve mocked offense. Well, he thinks it’s funny at least. 

"That's not funny Steven, he gave you a job! You shouldn't make fun of him like that." Beth sighed, actually offended. 

"Yeah. Got it Beth, don't have to throw that card every time we-"

"I _do not_ Steven!"

Steve rolled his eyes as they continued to walk up the city street. He hated when she got like this. He walked a few paces behind her. Could tell the way her body tightened that she was upset with him again. They've been fighting more and more lately. Steve just assumed it was the move putting her on edge. Moving to a new city, switching jobs...preparing for a wedding. It’s all so stressful, it's bound to shake a relationship. 

So Steve tried to be patient with his fiance. Give her space, perhaps at times too much space. Perhaps too often. Perhaps it's Steve that's really the one in need of space. But they've been together for four years now; they met in college, have been together since. But when Beth's father insisted on Steve working for his company, insisted that he met the family...insisted that he became family. Well, Steve didn't really have a better option. Only reason he did the college thing was because his father was able to get him in. 

Turns out the brunette is actually pretty good at designing. He became a graphic designer for Beth's father's advertising company. They just moved to Atlanta GA. Into an actual house...that Beth’s father bought for them; as everyone likes to remind the now twenty-six year old. And they’re engaged. Been engaged for almost a year. Mostly because Steve keeps finding these reasons to put it off a little longer: paranoia, anxiety, job security. Whatever his mind can conjure up at the time. But really, it's due to the overwhelming uncertainty he feels. And yeah it’s stupid, because they’ve been together for a while now. Way longer than him and Nancy were and Steve would have married Nance in a heart beat back then. 

More than that, Beth and him have a house together now. Have a nice _stupid_ life that's almost too much like his parent’s life for comfort. Not to mention just how happy his parents are about the whole thing. And Steve can picture having kids and traveling and eventually become part of the board for their company. All the things he's supposed to do with his life. It’s all right in front of him for the taking...but he still can’t shake _that_ feeling. The feeling that his hands are still occupied holding something else. _Someone else._

His mind reeled a hundred miles a minute as he trailed behind Beth. As his eyes scanned the new city, zoning out really. These buildings are so tall, and it’s only May but it’s so hot here. Apparently Georgia is always hot though; something the Hoosier will have to get used to. His nose taking in unfamiliar smells and ears listening to all the noises the city has to offer. It’s a surprise that Steve noticed him at all really. _Him_ , the male standing outside the little cafe Beth wanted to stop at. 

The man with curly blonde hair just past his shoulders. The one with sunkissed skin and a white button up, that’s unbuttoned down to his midriff. The man that has blue eyes. As blue as the ocean itself. The ones that still haunt Steve's memories and his dreams. The ones hiding behind a pair of bronze ray-bans. And the only reason Steve knows they’re blue is because this man also has on a gold chain. A necklace that Steve has spent so many days admiring. So many nights with his fingers laced around it. 

"Holy shit!” Steve all but yells it, “Billy! Billy Hargrove, that you?" 

Steve’s face beamed with an ear to ear smile. Brown eyes as wide as the moon when Billy fully turned to see who was calling him. And the blonde almost fell over when he did, dropping the cigarette he was smoking. His face said it all. Blue eyes scanned over Steve for what felt like an eternity, but was only a second. Only a second before, 

"Well I'll be damned.” 

Billy's voice was like gravel, low and quiet, before shock was replaced with a sudden sense of nostalgia.

“Hey pretty boy.” Billy said it like Steve plucked it right out of his memory. 

“Yeah it's me Harrington, don't cream your pants." 

That sharp smile of his was dulled in the corners, warm with elation. It only took a second. A second before Steve dropped the bags he was holding; damning anything fragile inside them. A second before his body became flushed against Billy's. Billy, with those bright blue eyes on full display, because he slid his sunnies off to get a better look at Steve. Billy with open arms and a tongue between his teeth that Steve still remembers the taste of. Like he was sucking on it yesterday. 

It was a millisecond after they crashed together before Billy’s arms caged the brunette in like an iron gate. His drawbridge that's always locked and guarded finally opened; letting someone, the only person he wants inside. God, that hug...it felt like breathing again. Like that first deep breath after holding it for so long under water. Billy’s hand coiled up the back of Steve's neck, while the other held tightly to his waist. 

It was muscle memory when he nuzzled his face against Steve’s. When he took his scent in, his nose buried deep into Steve’s still ridiculously fluffy hair. Muscle memory when Steve sighed against the blonde’s jaw. His body completely relaxed for the first time in years. When his arms snaked tightly around Billy’s neck. When tears started welling up and threatening to fall as the familiar smell and warmth flooded over him. When he whispered into the blonde’s ear:

“Billy, I’m not dreaming right?”

And when Billy whispered back to him:

“not this time Bambi."

It felt like home, their arms tightening equally around each other. It felt like coming back after being gone, being lost for so long and finally finding home again. And time stopped. The world stopped and faded away. Just like it did back in their highschool days. Back before all the bullshit happened. Back before- 

“Steven?” Beth’s voice broke their reunion. 

“...fuck” Steve hushed under his breath; eyes closing tightly on a sigh. Once again Steve has to let Billy go. Let him fade from his hands. His muscles clenching back up again. His fingers so slowly, so gently raked down Billy's shoulders. Down his chest as he withdrew himself from the blonde's grasp. 

Billy bit his lip. His eyes intense, burning holes through Steve as he watched the brunette pull away from him. And he wanted to grab him, jerk him back up into his arms; but he couldn't. The blonde didn't have a right to, not after the way he-

"Beth..." 

Bambi eyes turned from Billy's gaze to look behind where the women, his fiance stood.

"Sorry. Beth, uh," 

Steve hesitated, quickly correcting himself by taking the woman's hand and drawing her to his side. 

"I want to introduce you to someone. This is Billy Hargrove. Billy, this is Beth...my…." 

"His fiance." Beth quickly added, 

"Yeah, my fiance." 

Steve's eyes turned to those of a kicked puppy. Threatening tears again; looking for his punishment because he knows he just messed up. Because Steve could see it. Could _feel_ every inch of Billy's body coiling up tight, so tight. Could feel a part of him breaking when ocean eyes grew wide, grew cold, grew hopeless. But what hurt the most was that smile. That fuckin' smile Steve knew too damn well. The smile Billy would put on after his dad would do something to him. When he'd say " _I'm fine, Steve. It's fine."_

He wasn't fine though, it was never _fine_. It wasn't fine then and it sure as hell isn't fine now. And this ecstasy, this blissfully reunion suddenly became a funeral. 

"It’s nice to meet you, Billy." 

Beth is polite, always so polite. 

"Pleasures all mine." 

Fuck, that voice, that charming voice Billy always used on all the girls. So fuckin' fake. 

"So how do you two know each other?" 

Beth asked, to neither one in particular. Fair question. Steve never talked about his past much with Beth. Didn't think it was necessary, the monsters, the alternative universe, the love of his life. None of it was necessary information. 

"High school." 

The two men said in unison, making them stare at one another again. Billy smirked and Steve lost his breath. 

"We went to high school together. We were friends." 

Billy was talking to Beth, but his eyes were fixed on Steve. 

"Best friends." 

Steve corrected, Billy nodded,

"inseparable…" he added. 

It was so intense, the air, their breathing. Steve was so conscious of how Beth was staring at him but he'd be damned if he looked away from Billy. 

"Oh, what happened then? Did you have a falling out? You never mentioned him before Steven." 

_Steven._ Billy wanted to laugh, only Steve’s parents ever called the brunette by his full name. 

"Life. Life just got in the way like it does sometimes. Stevie went to college, and I moved here." 

Billy answered her. As simply as he could. However it might have been too simple? Or perhaps more appropriately, Billy said it too casually. Because Steve snapped as Billy’s words sunk in.

"Wait, no way. No, this is where you've been? The whole fuckin' time! Here?" 

The anger in Steve's voice took everyone off guard, well, Billy expected it actually. He only nodded, couldn't bring himself to explain the whole story. Not like this, not here.

"You asshole!" 

Steve barked out.

"Steven!" Beth swiped the brunette on his shoulder, more like a mother than a wife.

"It's alright, I deserve a lot worse than that."

Billy gave a passive smile.

"I don't understand what's going on but-"

"There ya are Bill! Here, one doubleshot no sugar." 

A fourth member to their party walked up beside Billy. Handed him a steaming to-go cup. 

"Thanks babe." 

Billy took the cup from the other male, gave him a small grin. He was taller than Billy, light brown hair, brown eyes...freckles. 

"Oh, hi there!" 

The new member smiled at the couple in front of him. 

"Kyle, this is Steve and his" Billy cleared his throat, "fiance, Beth. Uh, this is Kyle. My boyfriend." Billy avoided Steve’s eyes in favor of his coffee. 

"Boyfriend?" 

Steve repeated, voice questioning, accusing. Billy looked up then. Steve wasn't known for his poker face, always wore his heart on his sleeve. Not like Billy in that department. Steve’s face shifted, eyes grew narrow, mouth became a straight line. Billy saw it, all of it.

"Kyle, it's a pleasure." 

Beth smiled, sickly polite. If she knew how angry, how hurt Steve is right now...would she still smile at him like that. This stranger, this imposter!

"Likewise." 

Kyle returned the greeting before taking a sip of his tea. Steve's eyes darted between Billy and Billy's fuckin' _boyfriend_ . _Boyfriend_! Boyfriend that wasn't Steve! And Steve never pictured Billy and him ever splitting up! But when he was forced to imagine it, Billy with another...he never saw him with another guy. Not, not like seriously at least. Maybe during one of his jealous fits when he'd catch Billy smiling at some dude for too long. Or if he'd say something stupid. But it was never a serious thought. Steve just assumed he was the only guy Billy could ever be with, like how Billy is for Steve. That he'd just end up with a girl like he did. That it might have hurt less that way. 

But it didn't matter who Billy was with. The fact that he was with _anyone_ other than Steve, it was far worse of a pain than just breaking up. 

"Billy, is this your sister?" 

Kyle asked, breaking the beat of awkward silence.

"Thought you said her name was Max?"

"What? No. No, her name is Max, Beth and I aren't related." 

Billy caught himself from sneering at the thought.

"Why'd you think that?" Billy added.

"Oh, sorry. Just you two look so much alike. Thought you were related is all." 

That made Billy give the girl, woman, a better once over. Yeah, they both have curly blonde hair but his is a darker blonde. And they both have blue eyes, but his are bluer. Her skin is more peachy than olive like his own. She does have red lips like his, maybe even fuller?

"You think so?" 

Billy said rhetorically, his eyes darting to Steve with a knowing grin. Steve's eyes quickly grew wide as he watched Billy realize it. Steve knew there was a resemblance. Half the reason he was attracted to her if he was being honest. _Sorry he has a fuckin' type_. 

"I don't really see it." 

Steve said dryly. Beth gave a quick side glance towards Steve before looking over to the other blonde.

"Not sure if I see it either but, Kyle it's funny cause you and Steve look pretty similar too!" 

She chortled. 

"Do we? Huh, wish I had hair as nice as his!" 

"Everyone does!" 

She replied giggling and rolled her eyes like she’s heard it a hundred times. In her defense though, she has. She herself was at least thirty percent of that count.

"So if you're not related how do you know each other Bill?" 

God, why is everyone so nosy? Does it really matter how they know one another? The point is that they do know each other! And right now everyone that isn’t Billy and Steve is ruining their moment!

"Steven here and _Bill_?" Beth repeated Kyle, "went to highschool together apparently. They were friends, right Steve?" 

Billy and Steve locked eyes into a staring contest, both now in the know. Realizing what they did. How they just wasted the past seven years trying to fill the hole, but just ended up bandaging it with usurpers. Because they couldn't have the real thing. Couldn't have each other.

"Yeah babe. Billy was, is!” Steve corrected himself, “the best friend I've ever had." 

Steve answered her, eyes still very much occupied with Billy's facial features. How they've grown sharper over the years. Rougher, aged like whiskey. And Steve wants a shot of him so badly.

"Oh, um, okay." Kyle was sputtering. "It's great you two got to reunite then. Uh, well it was really nice meeting you both but Bill and I are actually late for something, so...Billy?" 

"Yeah" Billy blinked out of his daze. "Wait, what'd you say?" 

He turned to face Kyle, a flash of anger was replaced with confusion. It was written all over his face. 

"God you're so forgetful! That _thing_." 

Kyle insisted. 

"...What?" 

Billy and Kyle were doing that thing. When people tried to talk with their eyes when they didn't want others to hear what they're saying. It was definitely not as discreet as they meant it to be, mostly on Billy’s part. Steve, still hung up on the boyfriend part and even more so on the fact that Billy has been _here_ the whole time. And _not_ in fuckin’ space or Antarctica like he’s been trying to convince himself. But it’s cute. Billy’s getting frustrated over his confusion. Steve forces himself not to smile.

"That's fine! Steve and I need to get back home anyways. It was lovely to meet a friend of his, and you as well Kyle." 

Beth pressed a hand to Steve's arm,

"Yeah. Yeah, it was nice meeting you." 

Steve finally acknowledged the other brunette with more than just his eyes. 

"Steven, why don't you give Billy your number so you two can catch up! It'll be good to have a friend in a new city."

Billy’s attention was captured again, 

"New city? You're moving here Stevie?" 

His voice was perhaps too excited, too friendly, especially with his current boyfriend standing right next to him. 

"Oh right, yeah, I forgot to mention it. Beth and I just moved into our new place two weeks ago. We’re about a ten minute drive from here.”

"Steven is working here for my father's company." 

Beth added quickly with a smile, Steve wanted to die from embarrassment.

"That's, wow! That's great, so proud of you Stevie. Damn. What are the chances of us meeting like this again? Ironic right?" 

Billy was all smiles as his attention was completely fixed on Steve again. And oh god, how Steve just wanted to melt into a puddle right there on Billy's lap. Wanted to cry and pout and tell him it's fuckin' fate! Not irony! They belong together so the universe is giving them a second chance. But he didn't, the brunette didn't even blink. Too afraid of what might happen if he even breathes in too deep. Because Billy is here, really here in front of him. And he’s proud of Steve, and he’s looking at him like _that._

"Totally." 

Steve squeezed it out of himself, voice strained.

"Hey, uh, so do you have a mobile phone?"

Billy was the one to ask, Steve still intoxicated with those eyes. 

"Yes." 

"Well let me get those digits man!" 

Billy ran his tongue over his teeth, Steve couldn't not stare.

"Yeah...Right, right."

They exchanged numbers while Beth collected their bags off the ground. Kyle is calling them a cab. Billy takes the opportunity to pull Steve into another quick, _too quick_ , hug. 

"Baby?" 

Billy hushed into Steve's ear while they were embraced. Asked it like a question, no, like permission. Permission to still call Steve that. Permission to still think of Steve as _his_ baby. It sent a chill straight through the brunette's body. Straight to his core, reigniting something that was abandoned so long ago. 

That shiver though was answer enough for the blonde. But Steve couldn't help it when he let out a faint whimper. Just loud enough so Billy could catch it. And when he did, it made a growl form from deep in his throat. It sparked a desire, it set his blood a flame. It made him so thankful that Kyle was flagging that cab and not looking at them. 'Cause he can’t even imagine what they look like from an outsider’s point of view. With Billy all but panting in Steve’s ear, their bodies flushed together like they were sewn that way. 

“I really am so proud of you baby. Look how far you’ve come.” 

Steve’s breath hitched in his throat, he couldn't breathe. Wanted to cry. He dug his fingers deep into Billy’s shoulders when he whispered out Billy’s name like a secret.

“Billy-”

Billy’s arms coiled tighter around Steve’s waist. His hands pressing so much warmth onto Steve’s back. So comforting, reassuring, home-like. When the cab pulled up to the curb, the almost lovers let go again. For the second time they’re forced to part ways. Except this time they knew they were going to see each other again. It was promised. Sealed by two phone numbers that they'll have memorized before the week is out. 

And Billy was almost thankful that he had the cab to climb into. If only because this meeting left him dizzy and half hard in his jeans. He could still feel Steve's breath in his ear, hear him whimpering against his neck. Feel the warm weight of him on his chest. Fuck, he's a wreck. His head left completely spinning. Trying to process the fact that this isn't one of his many dreams of Steve. This is real, this is happening. Steve is living a matter of minutes away from him again. 

Steve was in his arms again after seven cruel, lonly, fuckin' agonizing years! Steve is right here, and he still can't have him. Cause Steve is sporting a fiance. A fiance that Billy basically told Steve to find. Left him high and dry in college telling him to find someone better than him. Better than Billy can be. And he did, so Billy has absolutely nothing to do but lay in the empty bed he made. 

He sat crossed legged in the cab with his coffee over his lap. He still smelt Steve in his nostrils, felt him all over his body. Steve’s little moans and whimpers, recalls how he sounds crying Billy’s name. It’s a symphony on repeat in Billy’s head. His jeans are almost tenting. 

So he looked out the window, kept his eyes on the passing city as the car took off towards their apartment. _Apartment_ , cause they didn't have a _thing_ to go to. The only thing they were late for was Kyle's daily hissy fit. Which would be starting promptly as soon as their front door closed. 

"Bill what the hell was that?" 

"What was what babe?" 

And here we go.

"Who was that?" 

Kyle crossed his arms standing firmly, blocking Billy’s path.

"Steve and his fiance, you were there, met them too." 

"Don't do that, you know what I mean! Who is he to you?" 

"He's just a high school friend, stop trying to make something out of nothing." 

Billy tried deflecting the questions. He doesn’t want to do this right now. He wants to lay in his bed and remember every second of what it felt like having Steve in his arms again.

"Don't lie Bill! You don't even hug me like that and we're sleeping together! Don't think I didn't see it. The way you were looking at him, that woody in the cab! Is he an old lover?" 

Fuckin' hell! What is Billy supposed to say to that? That he's the love of his life and now he's been dropped down onto his lap from Heaven! Cause Steve really is an angel! Dropped right in front of his face like salvation on a silver platter and you expect him _not_ to embrace him! _Not_ to just drink him right up like holy communion. After seven years of imagining, dreaming about touching Steve again. 

Seven years of locking himself away for days on end mourning what he had with Steve. Seven years of pretending every man he's slept with was _his_ Stevie. Even now, Kyle is just a replacement. And Billy knows how shitty that is! Knows that no one deserves that. But eventually it's going to end between them. Cause Billy only has one forever and he just moved in down the street with a fiance. 

"It was a long time ago babe, you know I don't like talkin' about that kind of shit. So can we just drop it?" 

It wasn't a question, it never is with Billy.

"We always drop it whenever you don't want to talk. It's not fair! If you want to know something from me it's like a war zone until I tell you! Just tell me one thing! Okay?”

“Fine.” Billy groaned.

“Is he going to be a problem Bill?" 

That was definitely not the right question if Billy’s glare was any indication. 

"Steve? He could never be a problem." Billy scoffed.

"God, you're defending him now?"

"I told you we're friends!" 

Billy matched Kyle's voice. He hates yelling, it brings him back to those times he spends every day trying to forget.

"I asked, is your _friend_ going to be a problem for _us_?" 

"And I _said,_ Steve will _never_ be a problem to me." 

Billy snarled, heat flooding over the back of his neck. He didn't always instigate Kyle when they got like this. Actually more times than not Billy kept quiet. Rolled with the punches, nodded and went along with everything. Didn't like showing his other side. People get scared of him too easily, they fight dirty or just run. But of course he's going to defend Steve! 

It's Steve, _his_ Steve. Billy doesn't care if it was the damn president he was talking back to or God himself! Billy will _always_ fight for Steve because Steve was the only one that ever fought for him! He was the only one that cared enough to realize what Billy's father was doing to him. 

*******

_“Killer? Shit! Billy what happened to your face?”_

_Steve pulls Billy from his front door into his house, full panic setting in._

_“It’s nothing baby. Just drop it, okay?”_

_“Nothing? Fuck that Billy! Tell me or so help me God!”_

_Steve holds Billy’s chin in his hand examining his bruised eye, his swelling cheek._

_“Let me see your hands.”_

_Steve demands._

_“No.”_

_Billy doesn’t put up a fight however, lets Steve grab them. Goes completely still as he watches Steve’s eyes begin to flood with tears._

_“I knew it. It’s him. It was him wasn’t it? Fuck, Billy tell me!”_

_“Yeah. Yes. It was him.”_

_Steve cries so hard that night. Cries for Billy because his tears don’t come as easy as they used to. Holds onto him so tight it hurts Billy’s bruising ribs, but he isn’t going to say anything. He’ll take the worst of it to be this close to his baby._

**_***_ **

Steve was the only one that bandaged his wounds, only one that made sure Billy was safe. The only one that kept Billy safe and not just from his father, or from the upside down but from himself. And Steve is the only one that has never been afraid of Billy's fire. Never afraid of his fists or to call him out on his bullshit.

*******

_“You’re not leaving!”_

_Steve stands in front of his bedroom door, blocking it from Billy._

_“Steve, move.”_

_“No!”_

_“God dammit Harrington! I said move it!”_

_“And I said no asshole! You’re not going anywhere tonight! I won’t let you, not like this.”_

_“Fuckin’ hell, you’re such a fuckin’ brat! I don’t know why I put up with this bullshit!”_

_Billy punches the wall beside Steve’s head, Steve doesn’t flinch. He never does, he plants his feet and takes everything Billy throws at him._

_“Shit…”_

_Billy panics, picks his head up to look at Steve. Billy’s face goes white when he realizes what he said. What he’s done._

_“Baby? Shit, I’m sorry Stevie. I didn’t mean it, you're not, you know I-”_

_“I know.”_

_Steve’s voice is firm, the steady Billy needs._

_“Are you done yet?”_

_Steve asked him, not unkindly but not forgivingly either._

_“Yeah…”_

_Billy coils in on himself, sliding to the floor where Steve wraps himself around him._

_“It’s okay, I got you. I’m not going anywhere tiger. You’re safe, I promise.”_

*******

"Bill I swear to God, we're done if you see him again. I'm not competing with a ghost from your past that you're clearly still hung up on." 

"Yeah? Well you don't get to tell me what to do. Can't control who I see or don't. You're my boyfriend not my father!" 

"Exactly! _I'm_ your boyfriend! Why are you always putting up walls! I'm getting so tired of trying to break them down. I thought we were finally getting to a good place, Billy."

"DON’T! Don't call me that. I told you never to call me that…" 

Billy all but roared, slammed his palm against the wall. Old habits.

"He did!" 

Kyle pointed to the imaginary Steve in their foyer. 

"You let him call you Billy so why not me?" 

Billy opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He didn't have an answer, or he did, but he didn't want to say it outloud. If he did, it would’ve sounded like: _'cause he has the right to. Cause it sounds like angel trumpets when he says it. Cause if you call me that all I think about is him!'_

"So you're just going to completely shut me out then? Fuck you Bill! Why don't you just run back to your _boyfriend_ with better hair and leave me in the cold." 

Kyle pouted, practically stomping. He’s a brat, but he’s not _his_ brat. 

"Don't go threatenin’ me with a good time babe." 

Billy was all teeth, dripping in the fire that only Steve knew _, knows_ how to put out. That Billy only lets Steve put out. Then the blonde pushed past Kyle in their foyer, headed straight to his bedroom. _His_ bedroom because Kyle and Billy were roommates before they were boyfriends. _His_ room because Billy still needed his own space that was _just_ his. And he was sitting on the edge of his bed, door locked like some angsty teenager. His microtac 5200 in hand.

“Hey Bambi it’s me. I don’t know if your phone gets text messages. 

Just wanted to make sure I had the right number.” 

Billy texted Steve and waited for a response. Didn't realize he was holding his breath the whole time.

“Hi Billy! Yes my phone does texts. Hope to talk to you soon!” 

And Billy could breathe again, and it took _literally_ everything in him not to send an

“ _I love you”_ back. Instead he sent a simple:

“Count on it pretty boy.” 

How could five simple words make Steve smile so big? So much so that Beth was staring at him from across their kitchen table. 

“What’s making you so smiley over there?”

“Huh? Oh, uh nothing. I just thought about something funny is all.” 

“Hm, if you say so. What do you want for dinner? I can make something or you can go grab take out.” 

“Take out." 

Steve jumped perhaps too quickly. What can he say? Beth isn't the best cook.

"I’ll go grab us something, pizza sound good?” Steve asked, standing up out of his chair.

“Sure honey, going to the same place as last week?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, I’m going to finish unpacking the bedroom while you’re out.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be back soon.” 

“Oh Steve? don’t get lost this time!” 

Beth chortled.

“It was one time Beth!” 

Steve called back from the doorway, exasperated. Can he just have one conversation without her dredging up some embarrassing moment? He got into his little BMW. The one he still has from ‘82 cause he’ll never part from the memories it holds. The memories that are soaked and stained into the seats. Just like they’re burned into Steve’s brain. 

*******

_"You sure 'bout this bambi? It'd be a shame to ruin such nice material."_

_Billy mocks rubbing a hand over the backseat of Steve's car. They’ve been making out for thirty minutes now. Parked out behind the old wood mill._

_"God, do you ever stop talking?"_

_Steve pulls Billy back down onto him. Lips crashing together like the waves of heat in his groin._

_"Mm, I can be persuaded."_

_Billy whispers as he brushes his lips over Steve's._

_"Jesus christ. Just fuck me already tiger before I change my mind."_

_Steve whines out irritated, voice more breathy and needy than he likes to admit._

_"Where's the fun in that? I'm planning on taking this nice and slow baby."_

_Billy teases as he bites down Steve's neck._

_"Billy!"_

_"Hey, we got all night Stevie. Just relax and let me take care of you."_

*******

Steve sat in his front seat with his memories flashing before his eyes. His phone burned in his hand as he clutched it. Thinking how easy it would be to see Billy again. He’s out anyways, if Billy could come out too? If Billy was getting pizza for dinner as well and they just so happened to get it from the same place. 

“Billy do you know where Vinny’s Pizza on Peachtree st. is?” 

Steve texted it out before his brain thought better of it. It took a couple of minutes, a couple agonizing minutes before:

“Yeah. Why?”

And it only took thirty seconds before:

“I’m getting takeout there. Just me.”

“Be there in 20 bambi.”

Steve melted into his seat, utterly boneless and filled with hope and anticipation. Filled with a heat he hasn’t felt in so long. A fire that grew as the BMW ripped out of the driveway in record time. Grew with every mile closer to the pizza joint, to Billy. 

“Hey, babe? I’m goin’ to go grab us a pizza for dinner.” 

Billy sauntered lazily out of his bedroom to the den. Found Kyle splayed out on the couch. Billy draped himself against the doorway not wanting to come across as too eager.

“Okay, are you taking the Camaro or a cab?” 

Kyle asked looking up from where he was perched on the couch. 

“Camaro.”

“Want me to come?”

“Nah, I'm good. Why don’t you go take a bath or something? Have the place to yourself for a while.”

“...You’re coming back right? This isn’t a scheme to ditch me?” 

It's not a joke despite Kyle's laugh.

“C’mon Kyle, you know how I get. Just needed to calm down babe.”

“Yeah, I know...Sorry I pushed you before.”

“No, I was being an ass.”

“Wanna grab a movie while you’re out? We can just chill tonight.”

“Yeah, sure thing babe. Be back later.” 

Kyle nodded the blonde off with a smile before Billy walked out the door. Maybe if Billy was a different person he would feel bad for going to meet up with another man. If Steve was just another man he wouldn’t even be going. Billy hated lying and cheating. It left a sour taste in his mouth. Reminded him too much of his father. 

But this is Steve. _His_ Steve, his one and only. And dating other guys has always felt like he was cheating on Steve to begin with. Not the other way around. So he’s going, and he knows that they _can’t_ . That he _won’t_. But the thought of Stevie sitting in the Camaro, seeing him sprawled out in the back seat like they were seventeen/eighteen again. It's almost enough to make the blonde whimper with want. White knuckles clenched the steering wheel as he pulled out of the drive.

 ***** ******

**April 13th, 1985**

_"Billy?"_

_Steve asks almost too shyly, straddling Billy's lap in the back of the Camaro. Queen plays in the background cause Billy refuses to let Steve choose the station._

_"Yeah baby?"_

_Billy is looking up at Steve. His hands firm yet gentle over Steve's hips._

_"You know- I- I've never…"_

_"Hey, it's okay pretty boy. I know. We'll take it slow. We don't even have to if you-"_

_"No! No I-I want to. God I want to. Like so much."_

_Billy laughs a little at Steve's honesty. Stares at Steve with such a tender smile. Billy knows he's in love, has been since last December. still can't believe he's here, sitting on his lap. But hope springs eternal. Billy hoped and hoped for so long and now it's April and Stevie is here with him._

_"You'll go slow right?"_

_Steve asks with embarrassment pink on his cheeks. Billy is overwhelmed, speechless and so utterly lovestrucked._

_“Billy?”_

_"I love you Steve."_

*******

Steve almost cried when he saw the blue Camaro parked at the shop. The same car he still dreams about. The one where he and Billy first made love. The one that became a second home to him, Billy being his first. It really was enough to make the brunette cry. How bad he missed it. Missed Hawkins. Missed being that stupid eighteen year old kid in the front seat. Blasting hair metal bands cause Billy never let Steve pick the music. Missed Billy, missed him so Goddamn much!

The brunette could see Billy sitting in his front seat smoking. Looking just like the kid he knew back in Hawkins. His unruly dirty blond curls sweeping his face, plumes of smoke circling his lips. Wishing so hard in that second of pulling up beside the Camaro that he still _is_ the same kid he knew in Hawkins. Hoping that the years apart didn’t change him, them. 

And Steve’s feet carried him out of him Bimmer, right up to the Camaro like reliving a memory. An instant replay of the past as he walked to the passenger side door and just slid right in. Like seven years was only seven minutes and this was their normal ritual. However Steve didn’t think he was going to put himself in this situation. Thought they would just talk and be in each other’s company inside while their pizzas cooked. Never planned on being completely alone with the blonde. Cause he knew what would happen, what he’d do if he was to meet Billy again. He was going to... 

“Waiting long?” 

The brunette softly chirped, shutting the door behind him as he glided into the front seat. The Camaro still smells the same, smells like smoke and spicy cologne and ocean breeze; smells like Billy. Like home. The blonde flicked his cigarette out the cracked window blowing out the last mouthful of smoke.

“Seven years.” 

He turned to look at Steve, soft blue eyes and that damn smile.

“Billy.”

“Right here Stevie.”

It wasn’t anything like what they both imagined it was going to be like. Meeting again. Thought it would be all heat and passion and sin. Instead it was so slow and tender and soft. It was pure comfort and feather light caresses. It was Steve slowly, effortlessly crawling over the center console, right into Billy’s embrace. Billy’s powerful arms holding him. Pure finesse from years of practice maneuvering inside the cramped space.

It was Billy shifting his back against the car door and pulling Steve properly onto his lap. Steve’s flushed cheek to Billy’s sunkissed chest, his hand gingerly raking through chestnut locks of hair while his other tightly wrapped over Steve’s side. It was Steve all hitched breaths holding back tears as he nuzzled into Billy; pawed his way up to his neck. Affectionately nosing over the blonde’s jaw breathing him in. Billy’s warm hands slowly gliding over Steve’s back, his shoulders and down his arms.

“Baby.”

Billy’s voice, rough and tender all at once, breathy and strained but so smooth. Not asking for permission anymore, just calling facts. Steve _is_ his baby. It breaks the dam Steve was trying to keep up. And he’s truly crying now as he whispers into Billy’s neck,

“Hi Billy.” 

Shifting up onto his knees to hover over the blonde, back arched looking down at him. Their face’s mere inches apart. Billy’s eyes somehow even bluer as they gaze up at Steve, full of admiration, love, longing. 

But seeing Steve cry, feeling the diamonds dropping onto his own cheeks did Billy in. Watching that little sweet smile looking down at him, it brought the blonde to tears as well. Now they’re both crying, and Steve has his hands brushing Billy’s cheeks; wiping the tears as they fall. Billy nuzzling into the brunette’s touch, Steve giggling through hitched sobs.

“Hi Stevie.” 

Billy runs his hands up Steve’s neck, one caressing his jaw and the other firmly on his nape pushing him in closer. So close Billy feels the brunette’s heavy breaths on his lips. He can taste the salty tears in his mouth as theirs meet. As their mouths collide, fitting perfectly together even after seven years. Like they were made to fit together like a puzzle, because they are. They _are_ made for each other. 

Billy eats up every little whimpering moan, every hum and pant that Steve offers him. Takes it all with so much gratitude. Steve’s grip on Billy grows tighter. His mouth more eager, pushing all of himself onto the blonde. Giving him everything he has left because Billy already has most of him; gave it to him years ago. Billy took it all, traded everything he had in return for anything Steve would give him. But then Billy took it and ran away. Steve remembers it, all of it.

Billy’s teeth tug on Steve’s lips, and his tongue invades his mouth, holding it captive. And it’s definitely a kiss worth seven years in the making. A kiss that leaves you reeling, and shaking, toes curling and fingers gripping to anything stable. But it’s also a kiss that reminds Steve that they could have been kissing like this for the past seven years. Reminds him of all the bullshit that he had to endure, everything that could have been avoided if… 

“Why?” 

The brunette breaks away sobbing hard now. 

“How could you leave me Billy?” 

His voice, just this side of wrecked. Completely upside down and soaked in pain and betrayal. 

“No. Fuck, hey-hey Stevie. Baby I’m so sorry.” 

Billy pulls him back into his chest, holds him there so tightly as the brunette cries. Kisses his head, lulls him with pleads.

“I’m so sorry Stevie” and “I was an idiot, you know how stupid I am.” 

But mostly,

“I hate myself so much for hurting you. I’m sorry. Fuck I’m so sorry baby…” 

Billy was fighting, forcing out these words through his own hitching breaths. Through a rainstorm of tears. The pain Billy felt before, when he left Steve, was absolutely nothing compared to the heart wrenching agony of actually seeing his only love crying in his arms. Because of the pain _he_ inflicted on him. 

“Fuck!” 

Steve thrashes in frustration, jabs a fist to Billy’s thigh.

“I love you!” 

He bites it out like a curse.

“I know.” 

Billy hushes like an apology, he knew Steve was going to hate him. He accepted it a long time ago that he was going to have to live his life knowing that Steve Harrington hated him…

“Wait, what did you say? Steve?”

“I still love you, you jerkface!”

Steve shoved Billy again for good measure. 

“Oh God, Stevie! I thought, fuck.” 

Billy sighed in relief with a smile he couldn't fend off. Steve shifted himself so he was looking at Billy again; sits up to really look at him. Steve put his hands on Billy’s shoulders, so tenderly, so Steve-like. 

“You think I hate you?”

“How could you not?” 

Billy shouted it at himself more than at Steve. 

“After what I did! After…Jesus, I love you so fuckin’ much baby. So Goddamn much.”

“Billy, I-I never hated you, I was angry, fucking furious and honestly I still am. But never! Could never hate you. I told you that before, that I’ll never hate you.” 

Steve put his forehead against Billy’s, sharing one breath; both holding so tightly to one another. They stay like that in the silence pressed together for a while. Whisper confirmations to each other over and over and over again.

"I love you."

“I love you too.”

“Love you so much.”

“Never stopped loving you.”

“Me either, not even for a second. Love you so fuckin’ bad Bambi.”

“Billy.”

“Stevie, baby.”

And they share these small kisses, so soft, effortless little pecks. Just to feel each other’s lips, to feel one nuzzle against the other. It’s sheer devotion, worship at its finest. Just wanting to feel the other’s touch, not wanting anything in return. They’re lost in time, forgetting the world outside the doors of the Camaro. Have no idea if ten minutes went by or two hours. But eventually Steve breaks out of their trance. Breaks because his phone goes off. And he sighs, tired and angry. Steve pulls Billy’s head back against his when the blonde tried to look at the phone.

“No, just ignore it.” 

Steve insisted.

“Baby.”

“No! I don’t want this to end. Not yet.” 

He whines so child-like, so bratty, and Billy wants to eat him up. Always loved when Steve got like this, clingy and begging to be spoiled...but the damn phone keeps buzzing. 

“Stevie.”

Billy’s voice is so patient, so warm,

“Kitten, gotta pick up before-”

“Before she finds out. I know, but-” still whining,

“I know.” 

Billy assures with another gentle kiss before he pulls away giving Steve enough room to talk. The brunette gives Billy one last look before picking it up. A look that shouts _why are you making me do this!_ To which the blonde responds by placing a comforting hand on Steve’s shoulder and the brunette sighed leaning into the touch. 

“Hello?...Hey babe.” 

Steve shifts his eyes away from Billy as he talks. Can’t look at him while he calls someone else that.

“Yeah, got caught up in some traffic...Yes, I just got to the shop _now_ babe.” 

Billy’s hand presses a little firmer onto Steve’s shoulder making Steve glimpse down to the blonde. Billy’s biting his lip, eyes scorching holes into Steve. The brunette doesn't really know how to read that expression.

“...Oh?... no, that’s fine… Really, it’s totally fine Beth. Yes, I’m sure. Yup, I’m still going to get one. Okay, have fun. Bye.”

Steve put the phone back down on the dash,

“She’s going to her dad’s for some last minute family thing. I guess I'm off the hook for tonight?” 

He states calmly with a smirk before leaning back against Billy. Eyes matching the blonde’s intensity, Billy met his lips halfway. This time around it’s a little more fierce than their last few. This one is all tongue and teeth, it’s Steve moaning and pawing at Billy’s chest. Billy’s steadfast grip manhandling Steve firmly onto his lap. Hips grinding up to chase friction. Billy knows he doesn’t have the right to be jealous right now about anything. Especially that Steve has a pretty fiance that he calls _“babe_ ” so sweetly and gently. 

But Billy also can’t help how he desperately needs to tongue fuck that word clean out of Steve’s vocabulary unless he’s calling Billy it. Make Steve so dizzy with want he needs to hold onto him to steady himself. And Steve’s fingers claw into Billy’s shoulders as the blonde coils a hand around Steve’s nape. Holding him there as he deepens the kiss. Sucks on the brunette’s bottom lip till it’s red and swollen. Laps at his tongue until he’s panting and whining into Billy’s mouth. Until he’s rutting his stiff cock against Billy’s thigh gasping. 

And Steve is bleeding pre in his tight little khakis, leaving such a pretty dark spot on Billy's blue jeans. The blonde is completely enamored by _his_ pretty boy. How Steve is still so overtaken by his touch that he's coming in his pants. Billy kisses and drags his tongue up Steve's neck. He’s filled with pride and a sick sense of victory. That he has Stevie in his lap creaming himself with his name on his lips and Beth is somewhere playing housewife. It's twisted and wrong but Billy has always been the Devil's favorite son, so why should he stop now? Especially while Steve is like this, humping his leg so desperately. All breathy and moaning, throwing his head back chasing the pleasure he knows Billy can give him. 

"She doesn't satiate you baby, does she? Not like I can. Not like I used to, huh?" 

Billy has to hear it, has to hear Steve tell him how much he wants him. More than he does anyone else.

"Mm!" Steve humms out, too lost in the pleasure for words.

"Does she?" Billy asks again, more insistent with a thrust of his hips.

"No, fuck-no. Only you!" Steve cries with the sudden pressure, the friction.

"When I use to fuck your tight little hole raw, till you were putty in my hands. Screamin’ my name."

Billy's voice is raw and soaked in hidden desperation.

“Aah! Billy, oh-fuck, mmm-so close"

"Gonna cum for me baby? Dirty yourself up just for me." 

“Yes-ah, yes-yes-yes!”

Billy bites along Steve’s jaw as he caresses the brunette's hips with strong hands. Pushing the mess that’s Steve down onto him just a little bit more. Making him grind into Billy’s thigh harder, giving Steve that push over the edge.

Billy is so hard himself, it’s starting to hurt, but he can't. Cause if he starts he won't be able to stop. And they can't…not yet.

“God baby you’re a fuckin’ angel. Your voice, your face, you're so fuckin perfect Stevie.”

" _Billy!"_

Steve's face is all bright red, panting hard trying to catch his breath.The warmth spreading between his legs makes him shiver from the release. Billy gawks in pure adoration, so overwhelmed by the beautiful creature on top of him. Wrapped his arms tight around Steve's waist and pulled him in until he could hear his heart pounding away. 

Billy buried his face into Steve’s chest, nuzzled against the soft cotton of his shirt. Breathes in deep, the smell of his sweet cologne. Steve, immobilized by the force of the blonde's embrace. Had to stop moving, still wanting to chase the last of his orgasm but just can’t move. So he relaxes into the bear hug; rakes his fingers through the blonde’s curls trying to steady his breath. 

“Steve?” 

Billy starts, voice muffled from having his face pressed so hard into the brunette's warmth.

“Hmm, yeah killer?”

Steve says the old nickname on instinct, lost in the nostalgic feeling. He could feel Billy smile at the name as soon as it left Steve’s mouth. Heavy hands spreading over the brunette's back to pull him in even closer, if at all possible.

“Shit, haven’t heard that name in years.”

“Never let anyone else call you it?”

“Fuck no.” 

Billy scrunched his face and nudged deeper into the brunette’s chest. 

"Only you, pretty boy. The only person I let call me killer, tiger, Billy. It sounds sick when anyone else calls me it.”

“Seriously? No one else in the last seven years has called you Billy?” 

“Not unless they wanted to get punched.” 

“Still a bully I see” Steve chortled,

“Old habits and all that, right?”

“Jesus, I missed you Killer.” 

Steve peppered kisses to the top of Billy’s head.

“Missed you too baby, more than anything. Stevie...I” 

he stops himself to take a deep breath. Steve sits back a little, just enough room to coax Billy’s chin up with his fingers so they’re staring at each other.

“Steve I know I fucked this all up. I know I don’t deserve anything from you and we’re both in relationships now because of me. I'm a selfish asshole but, fuck, I need you baby. I need you more than air, feels like I can finally breathe again now that you’re here in front of me.”

“Billy… I don’t-”

“Stevie, I just need you to know, I’m still yours. Always been yours, never stopped. I’d drop him in a fuckin’ blink if you told me to baby. Fuck- he’s nothin’. I love you so much Bambi. I-”

“Hey, breathe tiger. Breathe.” 

Steve lulled the frantic blonde, pet his head, thumbed over his jaw. Ducked down gingerly for a kiss. Steve doesn’t have to second guess his actions, it’s all muscle memory. Everything floods back, the way Billy likes to be touched. How to calm him down, bring him back around. It’s like they’re still kids.

“Shit. I’m sorry Steve.” Billy sighed.

“It’s okay baby, I’m here now. Right here.”

Billy takes a minute to breathe, to enjoy Steve’s gentle touch again.

“...Bambi?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you still, or, are you...?”

“Yes! Billy, of course I’m still yours. Can only be yours. You still have my whole heart you asshole, you never gave it back.”

Billy smiled at those words. Hasn't smiled like that in God knows how long. It was like the stones in his pockets shook loose and he was finally able to come up for air.

“Hey, I think it was a fair trade kitten. You still got mine. No take-backsies remember?”

“Oh my god, we really did say that didn’t we?”

“April thirteenth nineteen-eighty-five baby, four-twenty-eight pm. You were wearing that stupid red and blue polo-”

“You actually remember all of that?”

“‘Course! That moment changed my fuckin’ life pretty boy. We were high as kites, right here in the Camaro. That Queen song was on, just came out and was playin’ on every station."

“I was born to love you.”

“That’s the one, that’s our song ain’t it Bambi?”

“Duh.” 

They both laughed, soft smiles and tender nuzzles.

"God I miss it." 

Steve confessed. Couldn't hold it back any longer. Not with Billy's ocean eyes looking at him like he hung the stars. No, that was all Billy. Billy is like Atlas, he holds up Steve's entire world. 

"I miss everything, I'd give anything to go back and be kids again. You and me running around back in Hawkins. Young and wild. Even miss the gremlins and the trouble they always got us into. Hell, I'd fight a demogorgon myself if it would turn back time. I hate how my life turned out. Everything went downhill since college. Since we've been apart." 

"Hey, baby don't say that. You have the world at your feet for the takin' cause of that degree. Cause of all the opportunities you took. I mean I miss it too! Not a day goes by that I don't think about, how it used to be. And what if I didn't run away? What if I stayed and fought harder? But, I was so afraid, baby. You gotta understand, it was easier to walk away from you than to see you leave me for someone else. Someone that could literally give you the world. Cause you deserve the world Steve!" 

"Billy, _you_ need to understand that you are my world. You're the only world that I want! Fuck this world and fuck my degree and a white picket fence! I wanted you and that shitty apartment in New York! I wanted a dog we got from a shelter and cold hands and late nights. Wanted to watch you get your english degree from NYU. Move to Cali and watch you become a teacher. I wanted the life we always talked about. It was never lip service Billy! I wanted that life, despite what you thought I deserved. It wasn't your choice to make."

“You wanted it?”

Billy asked slowly, his brows furrowing.

“Yes! I just said that. I wanted it so much.”

“You don’t want it anymore though?”

“What?”

“You said _wanted_ , past tense, not _wan_ t.” 

Of course Billy is giving Steve an english lesson at a time like this.

“Oh my god, you dummy! I _want_ it! I want you. I’ve always wanted and still want _you!_ ”

“Yeah? Me too Stevie. Jesus, I'm such an idiot for letting you go.” 

Billy dropped his head with a sigh.

“I mean yeah. You are,” 

Steve giggled lifting Billy’s head back up. 

“But you were young, and you did it because you love me. Cause you’re the sun and I'm your moon.” Billy bit his lip trying to fend off his ear to ear smile.

“Shit. Steve, you still remember that story?”

*******

_Billy and Steve are laying down in Billy’s bed, their bed. Got back from the fair all but an hour ago. Billy did buy Steve that cotton candy, and Steve did end up letting Billy kiss him on the faris wheel. They fell into bed as soon as they walked through the apartment door. Steve has his head resting on Billy’s chest. He’s tracing shapes and entwining his fingers in Billy’s hand._

_"Hey bambi, have you ever heard the story about the sun and the moon?" Billy asks, tracing his free hand up and down Steve’s arm._

_"Uh, no? I don't think so."_

_"Well, one day, eons ago. The moon crossed paths with the sun. And the sun was so enamored by the moon's beauty that he wanted everyone to see it. Wanted everyone to know that he shared the same sky with such an amazing creature. But they couldn't see it while the sun shone so brightly. So he died, every night, just so the moon could shine. Because it was a sin to not let it shine, to let its beauty be known to the world. So even now the sun only gets to see the moon once in a while, every hundred years or so. But until they get to meet again he knows that they still share the same sky. That it's beauty gets to be praised by the world… you're my moon Steve."_

_"Billy? I don't think I-"_

_"I'm willing to die just so you get to shine baby. Because you're too beautiful not to. You're too brilliant and too good for this shithole town to not get out there and shine."_

_"Stop tiger, I can't. I already told you I'm not going to college. You don't get to do this to me. I can't leave you!"_

_"Baby, shhh. Hey, you're not leaving me…"_

_What Billy didn't say was "it's the sun that dies." But they both knew it was implied._

********

“Of course I do, tiger. You remember the exact time you first said _I love you_ to me. And I remember the night when I realized just how much you really did love me.”

“I do love you bambi, so much.”

“Buy me a pizza then?” Steve smirked all giggly as he shifted off of Billy’s lap and into the passenger seat, much to the blonde’s dismay. 

“Damn, forgot about the pizza.” 

Billy sighed, taking his keys from his engine, grabbed his leather jacket and shuffled himself out the Camaro door. Thankful his stiffy calmed down enough for him to walk comfortably. Steve met him in front of the car, leaning against the hood like a damn model. He's the only person Billy has ever let sit on his car. Billy stood in front of Steve, shoved his jacket into his lap.

"For your little situation there." He teased looking down at Steve's wet spot. Steve's grace turned that sweet pink that Billy loves so much. The idea of pushing Steve all the way down onto the hood and pinning his hands against the windshield crossed the blonde’s mind briefly. Instead he coiled his arms around Steve to pull him onto his feet. Was it just an excuse to cup his ass? Totally. Did Steve object though? Nope. So Billy tugged him along like that, walking backwards in the process. Nearly tripping as he stumbled over broken concrete but it just made Stevie laugh harder so it didn’t matter. 

Most of the time waiting for their pizzas was spent in silence. With them sitting across from each other in their booth. Billy resting his head on his hand just watching Steve. Steve smiling, giggling at the dopey face Billy made. Steve only breaking the silence that was filled with soft laughs and eyerolls to ask Billy:

“What are you looking at, tiger?” All giggly, and Billy just shrugged. His smile just got bigger though every time Steve would ask.

“Stooop” Steve whined with a smirk and a laugh caught in the back of his throat.

“Come ooon.” and “Billyyy!”

Before Billy responded with more than just arched eyebrows and playful wide eyes,

“Stevieee.” 

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Cause you’re so damn beautiful, baby. I just can’t look away.” 

Billy said all matter of fact, like it didn’t just send a shiver through Steve’s entire body. Like his face isn’t all bright red now.

_

“I wish you could come over, you know since Beth isn’t home right now. So we could _talk_ more. There’s so much to talk about.” Steve exhaled, sounding all melancholy knowing they had to say goodbye again.

“Me too Stevie.” Billy sighed as he carried their pizzas, walking around to Steve’s car. He set them down on the roof of the bimmer so his arms would be free to hold Steve. Steve slumped against the door more while Billy brushed soft strokes up and down Steve’s arms. Wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist and leaned down into him. Steve laced his arms around Billy’s neck, nuzzling his cheek against Billy’s. 

“Having to say goodbye twice in one days is too much for me Billy. I hate saying goodbye.”

“Then don’t baby. It’s not goodbye, not this time. I’m right here now. We live twenty minutes away again. You got my number. Nothing about this is a goodbye. It’s more of a, see you later.”

Steve chuckled and squeezed the blonde tighter for a moment before letting go completely.

“You’re right, killer. So I guess I’ll see you later then?”

“You can count on it pretty boy.”

“I am.” Steve smiled so sweetly and Billy leaned down and stole a kiss. Something quick and tender. 

“Dream of me tonight princess.”

“Only if you’ll dream of me.” 

“I always do.” Billy whispered against Steve’s lips before giving him a parting wink. 

_

It’s officially safe enough to say that Billy hasn’t changed at all, in the best way possible. Steve felt like he was floating as he sat on his living room couch, in this big empty house. Just like when he was eighteen and Billy dropped him off home from one of their dates. Except this isn’t Hawkins, and it’s only eight pm instead of two am. Also Steve is most certainly not eighteen anymore. 

He ate a slice of pizza before going to bed. Not waiting up for Beth to get home because knowing her, she’ll be talking with her sister until midnight. And Steve has work in the morning. Sleep doesn’t come immediately for the brunette though. Thankfully it’s not from his paranoia this time. This time it’s because he’s too excited to see Billy again. 

_

“Hey Kyle, I’m back.” Billy announced, closing the front door behind him with his foot.

“In the kitchen.” Kyle yelled back. 

“What took you so long? I was seriously starting to think you ditched me.” He asked the blonde when he walked into the kitchen dropping the pizza on the counter. 

“Hit rush hour on the seventy-eight. Plus there was a line at blockbuster.” 

“Oh, what movie did you get?” Kyle asked around a mouthful of pizza.

“I got the first Nightmare and uh, the Breakfast Club.”

Kyle coughed, perhaps a bit too loudly for Billy’s patience considering the blonde rolled his eyes at him.

“You got what now? I think I’m having a stroke.” God he’s so fricken dramatic sometimes...most times.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m feelin’ nostalgic, sue me.” 

Billy scoffed, scuffing his boots on the floor as he trailed off into the living room to put the movie on. The fact that _the Breakfast Club_ is Steve’s favorite movie and they’ve watched it fifty-three times together since the premier (Billy kept count). And that Billy lost a bet to Steve so he made him dress up as John Bender for Halloween, and Steve got his ear done so they could match...well all of that was Billy’s business.

Billy fell asleep on the couch before Anthony Michael Hall read: _“dear Mr. Vernon”_

_

“Oh my god, Robin pick up!” Steve barely slept, tossed and turned all night thinking about everything. Remembering everything. Lying there until his alarm for work went off at six. He knew he had to tell Robin, even before his coffee. She needed to know. And now she’s not even rewarding Steve’s loyalty by picking up the damn phone! 

“Robin!”

“Steve? It’s three-thirty in the morning! Someone better have died.”

“Shit.” Steve hissed, “sorry, I forgot about the time difference in California.”

“Ugh. Okay, it’s fine. I’m awake now. What’s up?”

“You’re seriously not going to believe what happened-”

“Wait, did someone actually die?”

“What? No, for the fifth time just cause you _guessed_ my grandma died that one time doesn’t make you psychic.”

“Mhm, whatever you gotta tell yourself Steve.”

“Oh my god, Rob, listen. I found Billy! Well, more like I ran into him.”

“...” Robin went fully silent on the other end. Steve thought they got disconnected. It was so quiet.

“Hello?...Robin?” Steve tires.

“Serious?” She finally responds, cutting Steve off when he was about to repeat himself.

“Yes! I’m dead serious!”

“Holy shit...Tell me everything!”

“Okay so me and Beth were walking up main and I’m like zoning out ya’ know?”

“So you being you.” Robin laughed.

“So funny. Anyways, we’re heading towards this cafe Beth wanted to go to and he’s just standing there in front of it!”

“Billy?”

“Yes Billy! All like hot and his shirt unbuttoned and his hair is like longer now. And his face is sharper, and-”

“So he basically hasn’t changed, like at all?”

“Yeah, basically...except he, he has a fuckin’ boyfriend Rob! Kyle! Not me! Kyle, who is not me!”

“Uh, wait, what? How fuckin’ dare he, what kind of name is Kyle anyways?” Robin is still the best friend anyone could ask for, Steve smiled even though she couldn’t see it.

“I know right! But that’s not the point. The point is I met up with him afterwards.” Steve started to whisper it even though he’s alone in his car heading for work.

“Kyle?”

“No, Billy!” 

“Right. Um so what, like you two went to get beers and talked?”

“Uh, no. Like I texted him that I was getting pizza and we should meet up...and...talk?” 

“Oh my god, Steve. Please tell me Beth knew.” 

“Not exactly...She went to see her dad.”

“Steve!”

“I know! I know, okay!”

“You two didn’t like, do anything, did you?”

“We kissed. Like a lot, and cuddled in the camaro for a while. And I may have, accidently, intentionally, humped his leg...and it was maybe, totally hot and kind of the hardest I came in years…”

“...Steve!”

“I know Rob! I fucked up, I get it but like it’s Billy! He’s here! He’s been here the whole fucking time!”

“Hold on, like he moved there from Hawkins?” 

“I mean I don’t know if it was right after.”

“You guys didn’t talk about it?”

“Not really, kind of was busy crying and cuddling and getting off to talk about it-But we will! We have to...I guess.”

“Yes, you have to. He left you Steve! You were a mess, he really fucked with you and I’m still going to kick his ass when I see him.” Steve smiled sadly thinking about it, it’s not like he forgot how bad he was after he realized Billy wasn’t coming back. But-

“I just don’t want to give him a reason to leave me again. Like I don’t want to corner him if he’s not ready to explain himself. I don’t think I’ll survive this time if he leaves me again Rob.”

“Stevie. Okay, but promise me you’ll talk to him about it soon. And no more cheating or I’ll tell Beth myself! She doesn’t deserve that Steve, no matter how much you still love him.” 

“I know. I’m pulling into work now, i’ll call you later okay?”

“Okay. Love you dingus.”

“Love you too Rob. Tell Heather I said hi okay?”

“I will.”

“Okay, bye.”

_

Morning came too early for Billy. Kyle didn’t wake him so he slept on the couch all night. His neck killed him and he needed coffee then a shower. His phone fell out of his pocket when he stood up to stretch; picking it up he noticed he had a message. 

“Morning tiger.” 

“Guess it really wasn’t a dream.” Billy hummed reading the text Steve sent it at six am, it’s currently eight. Looks like Steve’s new job has him living life as a morning bird. The thought made Billy chuckle. Steve hates the mornings as much as Billy does. They would both sleep until noon wrapped up in each other when they could. Steve drank decaf because the caffeine aggravated his paranoia and anxiety, Billy can only drink it strong. 

One day he’ll wake up with Steve right beside him again. Wrapped up in their sheets asking for his decaf with cream and two spoons of sugar cause he has such a sweet tooth. Billy leaned against his kitchen counter thinking about how infinite that moment will be when it finally comes. He doesn’t care what he’ll have to do. He’ll do anything to make time stop in that moment so they’ll be able to stay like that forever. Hey, if some kids can take on a mind flayer and Russians then Billy sure as hell can figure out how to stop time for his Stevie..

“Hey are you leaving for work soon?” Kyle interrupted Billy’s thoughts sliding up next to him, filling his bright yellow coffee mug. The one shaped like a honey pot that says _“be gay today, honeybee.”_ Billy got it for him last year for his birthday down in New Orleans. 

“Yeah, gotta be there at nine today. Working on that ‘72 C3 Corvette again. Found rust under it causing a leak. Gotta make sure the whole birdcage ain’t rustin’.”

“Bill, you know I have no idea what you’re talking about right?” Kyle laughed sitting down at their kitchen table.

“It’s okay babe, what I'm sayin’ is I'll probably be back late so I’ll just grab my own dinner on the way home.”

“Oh, you should’ve just said that then.”

“Silly me.” 

Billy bit back the sarcasm he’d normally let out, things are still too fresh. He pushed down that irritating want to start trouble for himself because he’s trained in the art of self sabotage. But he held his jaw tight, clenched his teeth together and put his cup in the sink. 

“I’mma go change and then I’m headin’ out.” 

“Okay babe, see you later.”

 _“...see you later then?”_ Steve’s voice rang in Billy’s head as he shuffled into dirty blue jeans. The pair that smell like motor oil no matter how many times he’s washed them. Takes off his white button up, still getting a slight breeze of Steve’s scent off of it. Trades it for his old white beater. 

“Morning bambi.”

Billy sent Steve the reply before pulling out of the driveway. He knew Steve was already at work but the guy could hope his boy would respond. Although he still didn’t get anything back by the time he turned into the garage. When he pulled on his grease stained denim blue coveralls. The pair that has his name embroidered in red stitch on it. Custom made for him since he’s been working there for three years now. The shop isn’t anything fancy but it has loyal customers and Johnny, the owner, he took a liking to Billy real quick. Always tells him: _“you remind me of my brother, Hargrove. Real spitfire of a guy but he had a true heart.”_ Billy found out not too long after being there that Johnny’s brother was one of the unfortunate few that died during the Grenada invasion. 

It wasn’t until Billy went back to his locker to grab his pack for a smoke break that he saw Steve had texted him back.

“Hey sleepy head. Call me for lunch?”

Billy’s cigarette hung from his mouth unlit as he quickly typed back to him.

“What time?”

Billy smokes his cigarette down to the butt before Steve responded the second time. 

“At 1.”

“You got it.”

When noon rolled around Billy was counting down the minutes, had to stop himself from looking over to the shop’s clock every other second. Tried to concentrate on his work. His hands muddled around the car’s underside, grazing over things but doing nothing in particular. His mind just couldn’t focus, it kept thinking about what Steve is doing. What kind of work is he doing for that company, what company. Is his baby thinking about him right now so much that he can’t work either.

“Bill?” The blonde heard Johnny’s voice calling for him from under the car.

“Yeah John?” 

“You said you’re taking your break at one right?”

“Yup.”

“Well it’s one.” 

“Shit.” 

Billy hissed as he hit his head on the frame sliding out from under the corvette. Johnny laughed above him. 

“Gonna have a shiner from that one Bill.” 

Billy flipped the older man off making his way onto his feet. 

“Be back in thirty.” He muttered taking off to the back room again. 

Billy wiped the grease from his hands on his coveralls, unbuttoned the top half and tied it around his waist. Pulled his smokes and his phone out of his locker and left through the back door.

It was five-after before Billy was pressing buttons on his phone dialing up Steve. He was jittery, felt as nervous as he did that night..

*******

**November. 1984**

_“God stop being a pussy Hargrove!”_

_Billy mutters to himself pacing back and forth outside of Harrington’s place. Steve hasn’t been in school since that night. The night Billy found him and the gremlins hiding away in that creepy shack of a house. It’s been exactly eight days since then, and not seeing Steve in school since has the guilt eating away at Billy’s chest. The whole thing got out of hand that night. Even if the situation did give Billy the heebie-jeebies, Steve didn’t deserve that shit._

_“Okay. Fuck it. Just knock on the damn door, see if he’s dead or not, apologize and get the hell out of here. Easy.” Billy crushes his cigarette butt under his boot and climbs up the steps to Steve’s door. Knocks...knocks again...and again._

_“Oh my god I’m coming!” Billy hears a familiar voice yelling from inside._

_“Guess he ain’t dead.” Billy chuckles to himself before the door quickly whips open in front of him. Almost as fast as it was when it slams on him._

_“Hey!” Billy shouts when he realizes what just happened._

_“Harrington open the fuckin door, man!” Billy bangs on the door this time._

_“Fuck off! Like hell I’m talking to you Hargrove!” Steve calls out from behind the door. Like he’s barricading it, like he really thinks Billy could break it down if he wants to. That idea brings a smirk to Billy’s face. Well at least he thinks Billy is strong enough to. Billy just knocks again, a little more patiently this time._

_“Seriously Hargrove! what, round one wasn’t good enough for you? Came to finish the job?” Steve sounds like he’s actually worried, all breathy and flustered. Billy’d be lying if he said it didn’t spark something in him._

_“I ain’t here to kick your ass again Harrington, just wanna talk.”_

_“Like I'm really falling for that one. How’d you find my place anyways?”_

_“It’s the biggest house in town Steve. Ain’t that hard to spot. Fine. Okay, I get it. Can I just talk to you through the door then?” There’s a beat of silence before Billy hears the faint sound of Steve sliding down against the door._

_“Talk.” Steve says it unamused._

_Billy mimics what he’s assuming Steve is doing and sits down on the concrete in front of the door._

_“I came to see if you’re okay man. If you were dead or not, haven’t seen you around school the past week.”_

_“Yeah well, i’m clearly not okay nor in shape to go to school…You kinda saw to that.”_

_“Right. Yeah…” Billy takes a deep breath, rubs his hand over his eyes. He’s bouncing his knee fighting for the words._

_“Look, Steve I’m sorry okay? That night, I just got in a fight beforehand and I was wound up. Max was late and the shitbird knows what happens when she’s late, so it just added to the fire. But I’m sorry I took that shit out on you. Really.”_

_Billy makes himself stop talking before he says too much. It’s quiet again at least until Steve is softly asking,_

_“What happens to Max when she’s late?” Which Billy responds equally as soft,_

_“Not to Max...” And he’s looking down at his hands as he says it, knows he’s saying too much. But God it feels good talking to someone about it. Someone Billy didn’t realize he trusted enough to tell. Where the hell did that come from? The most interaction Billy has had with Steve is during basketball for crying out loud._

_“What happens to you?” Steve asks from behind Billy. Billy doesn’t notice when Steve opens the door. Too zoned out in his own thoughts. But then Steve is sitting beside Billy on the concrete steps, looks at him with a swollen face and bruising eyes. A split lip that Billy will kiss better if Steve’s let him. That feeling isn’t new though, Billy’s been thinking about that since he moved to this god forsaken manure pile._

_“Uh, just, shit happens.” Billy looks away from Steve and his curious bloodshot eyes._

_“Like what?” Steve asks again._

_“Like bad shit Harrington. It… It can get ugly, okay? And that gremlin knows it too. She does it on purpose cause she hates me.” If Steve’s face sunk knowingly, empathetically for a second, Billy was none the wiser._

_“Well it’s not like you’re really giving anyone a reason to like you.” Steve chimes in. Billy looks at him, tilts his head with furrowed brows and an ‘excuse me?’ expression on his face. Steve laughs at him, laughs hard. Tilts his head back with it. It’s not the kind of laughter produced from something funny, it’s the kind that comes from releasing emotions. Pent up feelings you’ve been pushing down waiting for them to explode. Billy can’t help but smirk as he’s watching him, even if it’s at his expense._

_“Ow!” Steve yowls covering his mouth with his hand. Billy whips his body around to fully face the brunette._

_“Hey, Steve what happened?” Billy asks, a bit panicked._

_“Mm, no it’s just my lip opened up again. Hurts like a bitch.” Steve mumbles from behind his hand._

_“Lemme see.” Billy is pulling Steve’s hand away, replaces it with his. Holds him by his chin and thumbs at the cut gingerly. His eyes dart between Steve’s lip and his eyes. Steve’s breath changes, deepens. And everything suddenly feels slower to the blonde, even his movements feel sluggish. His thumb tingles as he smears Steve’s blood around. Wonders briefly if Steve’s blood tastes different from his blood, from when he has to lick his own bloodied lip clean. He wants to taste it to see. It’s probably sweeter._

_“Is it bad?” Steve asks in a hushed breath, Billy feels the warm air over his thumb. Can feel it on his face. When did his face get this close to Steve?_

_“You’ll live.” Billy responds with a slow crawl of a smirk appearing. His hand still on Steve’s chin, brushing against his lip._

_“Thanks doc.” Steve chuckles._

_“I should uh, should probably get going.” Billy is still staring intensely into Steve’s eyes. Shit is changing right in front of him and he can’t control it. He wants him, wants him so much more than he did when he first got here. Fuck, wants him more than he did twenty minutes ago. What the hell is happening? Can Steve tell? Tell how much Billy wants him right now, cause he hasn’t moved to leave yet either._

_“Yeah.” Steve agrees but his hand is now wrapped around Billy’s wrist, keeping it there. They seem even closer than before. And Billy catches Steve’s eyes glancing down to his lips too. Does Steve want Billy as well? As much as Billy wants him?_

_“We got school in the morning. We should uh, probably go to bed.” For a split second Billy thinks Steve just invited him in, to go to bed. To sleep with Steve like a dream come true. And it’s probably written all over his face the way Steve is smiling, giggling at him._

_“If this is a dream, don’t wake me up.” Billy finds himself muttering under his breath. Feels Steve's grip on his wrist grow tighter before he’s pulling Billy’s hand away from him. Still smiling though._

_“I’ll see you tomorrow, Hargrove.”_

*******

“-grove? Earth to Billy.” Steve teased on the other end of the phone. Billy shook his head breaking out of his thoughts. 

“Stevie?” 

“Yeah, it’s me, tiger. What were you doing?” 

“Just uh, hey, do you remember that night back in ‘85? I came to your place to apologize for beating you up at the Byers’.”

“Heh, yeah I remember. My jaw still aches when I think about it.” Steve laughed. 

“I was remembering that night.That was the night everything started changing for us.” 

“Yeah I guess you’re right. Jesus, I wanted to kiss you so bad that night.” 

“You did?” Billy almost shouted it. Almost fell off the picnic table he was sitting atop of. 

“God yes. The way just like, opened up to me out of nowhere. Called me by my first name and you made me laugh. I think what really did it for me though was the way you held my face so gently, like I was something precious.” 

“You are something precious baby. Wait, so why didn’t you kiss me then? You had to know I wanted you, was practically climbing into your lap.”

“I knew. I mean it wasn’t my first rodeo, I can read signs.” Steve chuckled, “I just didn’t want to get my blood in your mouth. Thought it was gross.”

“You serious baby? Christ, I _wanted_ your blood in my mouth. Wanted to taste it on your lips so bad.” 

“Oh my god, Billy you’re disgusting!” Steve said with affection, Billy chuckled,

“You love it.” 

“Mmm, unfortunately.” 

“Brat.”

“Some things never change I guess. Hey, so I was wondering afterwards, uh, where are you working now?” Steve asked. Billy blew out a stream of smoke from the cigarette he’s considering as his lunch. 

“I’m a mechanic down at Johnny’s garage on Penn street.” 

“No shit? That's so cool tiger! You’ve always been good with cars. Oh, remember that time you took me to that car show over in Gas City? Everyone was looking at the Camaro thinking it was part of the show!” 

“Oh yeah, damn! I forgot about that day. We got lost twice on that trip. Slept in the car till the morning cause it was too dark to see the signs to get back home.”

“Yeah! Good times.” Stevie added before a beat of silence over took the conversation as they reminisced. 

“So tell me more about it. Working on any cool rides?” 

“Uh, not much to say. I've been working over here since I moved to Atlanta. Johnny gave me the job, really no questions asked. Took a chance on a barely eighteen year old runaway." Billy took a long drag, it still burns every time he thinks about it. Running away.

"I get a few hotrods everyone once in a while. Actually working on a sweet C3 Corvette right now.”

“Oh for real? What year?” 

“A ‘72.” Billy answers, Steve does this cute whistle that makes Billy laugh.

“That was a good year for cars. Is it a three-fifty?”

“Nah pretty boy, it’s a four-fifty-four. Mille red and everythin’.”

“Damn, what’s wrong with her? “

“Not completely sure yet, she has a leak underneath. Pretty sure it’s from a rusty oil pan which ain’t a hard fix-” 

“Right.” Steve interjected. 

“But it’s been leaking for a while apparently. Worried it might have starved the oil pump so I have to make sure the engine itself is still running good.

“Like a complete engine strip?” Steve asked, so intrigued. Billy couldn’t help but smile, recalling all the hours they wasted away looking at car magazines. Talking about how they’d get a hobby car and build it up from scratch together someday. 

“Probably, if it doesn’t respond after lubricating it.” Billy didn’t miss that giggle Steve tried to hide when he said _lube._ Jesus, his boy is adorable.

“I also found rust ‘round the windshield so I’m hoping the whole cage ain’t rustin’ away.”

“That would be a shame. The car sounds gorgeous.” 

“Yeah she’s a beaut.” Billy sighed and stubbed out his cigarette. 

“It’s good getting to talking to someone else that appreciates cars as much as I do again.”

“Hm?” Steve hummed, he was going to agree with Billy and leave it. God knows Beth and him never talk about cars either. But, Steve really wouldn’t be Steve if he didn’t add a little lip here and there.

“So like, _Kyle_ isn’t into cars I take it?” 

“Baby.” Billy said it in a discouraging tone.

“What? I’m just askin’”. Steve said defensively. 

“C’mon. Don’t be an actual brat.”

“I’m not being a brat, I'm jealous, obviously. There’s a difference.” 

“Jealous, huh?” 

“Duh.” Billy could hear the eye roll Steve just gave him. He’s lucky he’s not here or he’d be getting spanked for it... Oh. Well that thought just changed Billy’s mood entirely. Damn.

“Stevie, cut the attitude before I do something ‘bout it.” 

That rasp came so much easier now that Billy’s is older, voice more worn. Not a stupid kid anymore trying to sound like he was big, bad and in control. Billy could hear the sharp inhale on the other end of the line. 

“W-what are you gonna do, if I don’t?”

Billy smirks, wonders if Steve misses this part too. This weird powerplay they started all those years ago. 

“How does a good spanking sound to you, baby?” 

“Shit.” Steve huffs out, airy and prefect. Billy really shouldn’t be starting trouble for his boy. Jesus, they’ve only been back together for twenty-four hours. Technically they’re not even back _together,_ together.

“Billy.” It’s a quiet whine, it’s one of Billy’s favorite sounds. One that entailed a familiar blush crawling across a familiar face and down a familiar chest. 

“I- I’m at work. I can’t.” 

“Awe, baby, am I getting you all hot and bothered under that suit, in front of the boss?” 

“Asshole. I’m outside right now, thank god.”

“Ha. Sorry pretty boy. Couldn’t help it”

“No you’re not and yes you could.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.” Billy laughed harder to Steve’s dismay. 

“Really though, can’t wait to get my hands on you again princess. Shit, gonna be thinkin’ bout it all day now. I gotta head back in, lunch is over. Message me later?” 

“Yeah, of course...Love you Billy.” He says it shyly, softly and secretly. It eats Billy up alive. Engraves it into his brain as if it isn't already there. 

“I love you too Stevie. Now go make your daddy in-law proud.” 

“Oh my god, nevermind, I hate you.” Billy hums amusedly before Steve hung up with a small laugh.

_

Steve is so thankful when he gets home. Gets to set his briefcase down, take off his shoes. Gets to take off his blazer and slide down on his couch for the rest of the night. It’s only his first month of working at the new location and he’s already this exhausted. Who knew a bigger city ment more work? Steve didn’t, that’s for sure. He’s never had to host so many meetings before in his life. Getting Billy’s voice message this morning helped though. 

_“Morning kitten, knock ‘em dead today. I’m so proud of you baby.”_

Steve told Billy he had this big meeting today last night when they texted goodnight. Been texting every morning and every night since they exchanged numbers. Sometimes they call each other for lunch just to hear each other's voice, or leave voice messages when they can’t. But it's mostly messaging. Haven't been able to see each other since that first night. So waking up hearing Billy’s voice saying that was better than his morning coffee. 

When Steve started to get anxious standing in front of all the new faces, in front of Beth’s father, he heard Billy’s voice. Heard him say “ _I’m proud of you baby”_ over and over again, like he was there in the room with him. He has to thank him later.

Steve closed his eyes and sunk deeper in the couch, a smirk steady on his face. He can’t wait to tell Billy he just signed his first contract deal as the lead designer.

“Steven are you home?” Beth called down from upstairs.

“Yeah babe. Just walked in.” Steve yelled back. Eyes still closed thinking about how warm Billy’s hand will be as it’s pressed to his cheek when he tells him. How soft his mouth will be when he smiles against Steve’s lips, pressing them into a kiss. How he can really be proud of Steve this time because he’s actually done something worth being proud of.

“Can you come up here? I found something while unpacking, I think it’s yours?” 

Steve’s eyes shoot open, breaking him from his daydream. A million things run through his mind before he even gets off the couch. It couldn’t be _that_ , and he threw _that_ away before they moved. Definitely _not that_ cause Robin put that in her attic for him. He keeps _that_ tucked away in his bmw cause God only knows what would happen if Beth saw it. So what the hell… Steve rushed up the stairs during his hurricane of thoughts. Found Beth kneeling on the floor surrounded by boxes and things as Steve stood in the doorway. 

“Does this look familiar to you? I haven’t seen it before.” Beth asked as she held up a thick brown photo album. And oh. _Oh._

“Yeah! That’s uh, that’s from when I still lived in Hawkins.” Steve ran his fingers through his hair making his way across the room. Took the album from her. 

“Was there anything else with this? Another box by any chance?” Steve asked nervously, if Beth ever looked through that shoebox. 

“There was a beat up shoebox and a couple other things from your childhood in it. I just put them aside, figured you’d go through them when you had time. They’re in that box there.” Beth pointed to the box on Steve’s left. 

“Yeah, cool, thanks. I think, um, I’ll just take these downstairs to look through them.” 

“You okay Steve? You seem anxious? Bad day at work?” Beth was looking up at him all worried. Of course she noticed, she always does. 

“No, I’m good. I uh, I’m actually going to be the lead on a new project. Just signed the deal today.” Steve smiled at her, picking up the box he forgot he even packed. The one he put all his dirty secrets away in. The one he never leaves without. The one he’s kept _far_ away from Beth all these years.

“Steve that's wonderful! Oh my gosh, we should go and celebrate. Did you eat dinner yet?”

Beth was a whirlwind as she stood up, giving Steve an awkward kiss due to the box he was holding in front of him. She started getting dressed before Steve even agreed, but he supposed a dinner that wasn’t home cooked by Beth wasn’t the worst idea. 

_

Billy and Kyle were wrapped up on the couch watching Pretty Women for the hundredth time. It’s Kyle’s favorite movie. Billy could quote it at this point, Kyle does quote it. Even doing their voice impressions as he does it. It’s cute most of the time, especially if they’ve been drinking. Which Billy unfortunately hasn’t been doing since he has work in the morning. Billy felt his phone vibrating in his pocket suddenly. It made him flinch which made Kyle mess up his one man show. He gave Billy the stink eye for it and Billy stuck out his tongue. When Kyle returned his attention to the tv Billy slipped his phone out slowly. Kept it down near his hip. It was Steve. Fuck, why is he calling so late? It’s nearly midnight. What if it’s an emergency? He can’t ignore it, what if his baby needs him? Damnnit. 

“Someone calling you?” Kyle asked, eyes still trained on the movie. 

“Hm, nah. Just seeing what time it is.” 

“Why? Got a hot date or something.” Raising an eyebrow at the blonde.

“Yup. He’s right here.” Billy smiled _that_ smile with finesse down at Kyle. Kyle rolled his eyes and looked back to the movie. 

“Damn, I forgot my smokes in the car, I’m gonna go grab ‘em.” 

“I can if you want?” Kyle sat up offering. Billy was already off the couch. 

“Nah baby, it’s fine. I’ll be back in a few. Keep quoting the movie.”

“I’m not quoting it, it’s called acting!” Kyle quipped.

Billy closed the front door behind him before picking up the phone.

“Hello?” 

"Billy?"

"Stevie? Hey baby, why are you calling me so late? It's kinda hard to talk right now." 

"Oh, shit, right. It’s late. Sorry...I…I-"

Steve sniffed, sputtering, slurring on his words.

"Bambi, why are you crying, everything okay?" His face became concerned as if Steve could see him through the phone.

"I, sorry. I gotta whisper. Can't be loud, Beth’s upstairs... I just. God, I s’wish she was you, tiger. Wish you were ‘ere. Wish I wasn’t gettin’ married. Wanna marry you. Only you an-an-" Steve started to cry harder. Always been an emotional drunk.

"Shh, baby, hey it’s okay. You’re okay, Stevie have you been drinking?”

"Mm. A little bit. But, but, I jus’ wanna hear your voice again, tiger. I miss s’you so much. It’s starting to feel like that night was jus’ a dream. Like I-I made it up, like all my other dreams." 

“I’ve been missin' you like crazy too, kitten. But it is real this time. I’m real, you’re real. We’ll see each other again soon."

"Promise?"

“I promise bambi.” 

Steve let out a little contented sigh. Wiped his tears away on the back of his hand.

“I uh, I’m lookin’ through these old pictures of us. The, the ones I took with that polaroid you bought me.”

"You still got those Stevie?" 

“Mhm. I look at them when I’m missing you, us. How it used to be.”

“Got the ones when we took the rugrats up to Center Lake? Spent the whole day on the beach.”

“Yeah I do actually!” Steve said excitedly, flipping the pages.

“I was thinkin’ bout that day earlier.” Billy added in as Steve was fumbling through the photos until he found them. Billy smiled listening to Steve giggling on the other end.

“They were all so excited that day. Other than Max none of the kids had been to the beach before that. It wasn’t even the ocean but it didn't matter to them… Oh my god, there's one of you throwing Dustin into the water!” 

“Yup, I remember that. The little shit kept interrupting me when I was trying to put the moves on you. He got what he deserved.” Billy chuckled along to Steve’s laughter.

"Shit, I’m being too loud, I should go before I wake her up. Just wanted to hear your voice again."

"It’s okay baby. I’ll take whatever time I can get. Hey before you go, do you still got that shoebox with all those _private_ pictures of us?"

“Sure do killer, m’was lookin’ at them before I called you.” Steve giggled more.

“That so? I’d love to see them again sometime.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you would tiger.” Steve smirked, “maybe I uh, maybe I could come to the shop and bring you a couple?” He spoke it slowly, calculating every word so his drunken brain wouldn’t say something stupid. Billy was silent on the other end probably overthinking the words he should use as well.

“I’d really love that pretty boy, can you drop in on my lunch break? Maybe tomorrow?”

"Yes!” Steve said too quickly, too loudly. “Shit.” he hushed embarrassedly. Billy just smirked affectionately, humming out a sigh. Wishing he was there to see his baby, drunk and giggly. Probably with his cheeks all pink from the alcohol. Body sensitive and touch starved. Christ, how he would worship that body of his. 

“Can I call you again instead of always messaging you?" Steve’s voice broke into Billy’s rampant thoughts. 

" _Fuck_ yes baby. Love getting to hear your voice again."

“Call you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be waiting.”

“Mm, night tiger.”

“Night Stevie.”

Steve held his phone against his forehead after he hung up, as if he was trying to press every emotion he’s feeling through the phone to Billy. So he’ll know just how much he misses him right now. How much he needs him. How he’s longing for any part of him, every part of him. Steve sleeps on the couch that night, couldn’t stomach the idea of sleeping near Beth the way he’s yearning for Billy’s touch. He put the pictures away first, in a safe place in the garage. Well, all but four of them. The only duplicates Steve’s ever made of _those_ photos. He was going to give them to Billy before he left for Hawkins again, after dropping Steve off at college. Something to remember him during the weeks when they couldn’t see each other. Something to hold them over till the weekends. But Billy never got them. Well, he will tomorrow. 

_

“Bill, come on. Let’s go to bed yeah?” Kyle stood up from where he was laying on top of Billy and stretched his arms before grabbing the blonde’s hand. 

“Mm, not really tired yet sunshine.” Billy was sprawled out on the couch, he missed the end of the movie but that was the last thing on his mind. God, he’s gonna get to see his baby again tomorrow. Get to hold him again, kiss him, breathe him in.

“Good, cause neither am I.” Kyle smirked, tugging at Billy’s arm again harder. 

“Come on, it’s been like a week since we’ve fooled around. Longest we’ve gone since we were just roommates.”

“A week huh?” Billy asked Kyle coyly with furrowed brows. He's been beating it everyday to that message Steve left him last week that he hasn’t felt the need for more. Why would he when Steve left him such a pretty message to whack off to? _“Mm, hi tiger. Guess you’re ah-asleep huh? I know it’s late, was thinking about you though. fff-Feel silly now, wanted to surprise you ah-mm…oh fuck- w-wanted you to litsen to me, ha-how hot you make me. Hmm-fuck, Billy!”_ Stupid voicemail cut him off after that, but Billy’s been playing it on repeat so often he’s suprised his phone hasn’t offed itself yet. Hasn’t used his phone this much since he bought the damn thing.

“Yeah, so move it or lose it buddy. Plenty of other guys out there would love to fill this hole.” Kyle teased, turning heel to head into Billy’s room. Billy didn’t take long to follow him. 

Billy had one hand on the headboard steading himself and the other curled tightly in brown locks. He heard Kyle’s whines and whimpers underneath him but Billy kept his eyes closed. Focused on the image he has in his head. The mirage of who he really wants it to be. God it felt good, so good. Better than his hand for damn sure. And Billy panted, his jaw slacked as he rocked his body more into the boy under him. Rocked harder, knuckles going white with the pressure of trying to keep himself steady. 

_“Fuck”_ It’s like a punch to the gut when Billy cursed and groaned. Felt hands climbing up his sides, over his stomach and up to his chest. Pictured soft, pale, star freckled skin and the beautiful face they belong to. Steve's plush pink lips calling his name. 

“More baby, harder.” He pretended it’s his bambi’s voice.

“Mmm! Ah! Fuck, _yes_!” His pretty boy’s moans.

Kyle came before Billy. Came when Billy snapped his hips up hard to kiss him, chasing after Stevie’s mouth. 

And Billy felt himself about to break apart. The coil that’d been winding up was so close to snapping, he just needed a little more. More Steve. Maybe Kyle noticed, maybe it was written on Billy’s face that it’s not enough. He's not enough. Maybe that’s why he said it.

“Mmm. That’s it, come inside me...Billy.” Kyle whispered it, breathy and panting. Took a big chance of Billy snapping at him instead, but it worked. Billy growled with a roll of his hips and his body stuttered. 

“Fuck!” He panted out “St-s, ah fuck baby.” 

Billy almost called out Steve’s name. Shit! Billy pulled out quickly, adjusted himself and sat at the edge of the bed. Doesn't even get to enjoy just how good that felt. Cause he fucked up, cause he's a fuck up.

“Gonna go ...take care of the condom…” Billy said stupidly, cause he's a stupid fuck up. But he made his way into the attached bathroom anyways. Literally hit himself in the head with his fist. _“How fuckin’ stupid can you be!”_ He asked himself looking in the mirror. Jesus, did Kyle notice? Of course he fuckin' did. Wait, fuck, Kyle called him Billy. Shit, and he came as soon as he said it. Goddamnit, he fuckin’ knew something was up. Why else would he even think to call him Billy? How does he fuckin’ explain this one? 

"Baby-" Billy started as he exited the bathroom but Kyle wasn't there in bed. Wasn't in Billy's room at all. 

"Shit." Billy cursed.


	2. -PART TWO-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Christ, Stevie. I'm gonna worship you”   
> Billy said it low, like a whisper, but it held so many emotions. Layered like a rose, every petal expressing a different emotion. Desire, disbelief, gratitude.   
> “Make it last forever killer, so I won’t have to leave when it’s over.” Steve gave him those bambi eyes, the ones he drowns in every goddamn time.   
> “Don’t worry princess, I won’t let ya leave. You won’t be able to walk after I’m done with ya.”   
> They both laughed, giddy and euphoric. Laughed through the tears that hid behind their eyes, through the ones that slid down Steve’s heated face. Billy peppered him with kisses, licked those shed tears up like a treat. Like he savored the taste and nuzzled deep into the crook of Steve’s neck.

"Steve? Steven, wake up." 

"Mm. Wha-" 

"Steve it's six-thirty. You're going to be late for work if you don't wake up." 

Steve rubbed his eyes, squinted in the morning light. Damn, he was having a good dream too. Fell asleep to a warm breeze and sand under his toes. Billy holding his hand as they walked up the beach. Stealing kisses when the kids weren't looking. Billy kissing him even when the kids were looking. It wasn't a dream when Steve recalls it fully. It was a memory of that day at the lake. Fuck, take him back. He doesn't want to wake up. He groaned as Beth kept prodding him to get up. 

"Okay, okay, Beth I'm up." Steve whined and swatted his hand rolling over to sit up. He really isn't a morning person, hates pretending to be one.

"I told you you'd have a hangover. You're not that college kid anymore Steve, you shouldn't drink that much." 

"I'm fine Beth. Don't have a hangover." He lied through his aching head. It's not like he was really that drunk. He still remembers everything. Nothing he isn't used to, just needs an aspirin and a hot shower. 

"Hey babe? Do we have any pastrami?" Steve called down the stairs down to Beth as he tried to tame his hair enough to go into public with it. 

"No, I can get some today. Why?"

Steve grimaced in the mirror, giving up on his hair. It'll just end up getting windswept from his walk from the parking lot to the office anyways. 

"It’s Bi- uh, was just wondering.” He made his way down the stairs, “It's cool, I'll just grab one on lunch. Alright, I'm heading out." 

"Okay, have a good day. Don't forget your brief, it's in the hallway." 

"Yup. I won't. See you tonight."

Steve leaned down to give Beth a kiss before leaving. He stops at a sandwich shop on the way over. Has to pay extra since " _that's a lunch order, we're only serving breakfast right now, sir."_ Sir? No, Steve is nowhere old enough to be called sir yet. Ew, gross, take it back! So he hauls his overpriced sandwich and hungover ass to to work and counts the minutes before he gets to call Billy to go and see him. 

_

"Hey tiger!" 

"Hey pretty boy, how's the head?" 

"How'd you- or, right."

"Yeah." Billy laughed. 

"Sorry about that, I didn't realize it was so late when I called you." 

"Nah, don't be, baby. It's alright. Just uh, maybe text me before calling that late again. Don't really need another reason for Kyle to give me the cold shoulder."

"Shit, did I make you two fight?" Steve grimaced. 

"No, no-that was all on me, kitten. Don't worry about it. So anyways, am I gonna get to see you today?"

"Yes, definitely! I was actually calling to see if I could still drop by?" 

"'Course, I'm taking my lunch 'round one again. Swing by around then and just ask the big guy upfront for me." Billy snicked, Steve could hear someone in the distance yelling at Billy. Probably for that comment. Steve smiled. 

"Okay, I'll see you soon Billy."

"Mm, if you keep threatening me like that Stevie you're gonna turn me on." 

"Oh my god! Go get back to work, Hargrove." Steve rolled his eyes, but he couldn't hold back a sweet laugh. 

"God, I love when you're bossy baby."

"I'm hanging up now." 

"No you're not." Billy chuckled, they sounded like a couple highschool girls giggling over the phone.

 _"Hargrove! Get your ass back to work!"_ Steve heard that voice again on Billy's end, louder this time. 

"Sounds like someone's in trouble." Steve crooned with a giggle, he's such a brat. 

"Yeah, yeah. When aren't I?" 

"Such a bad boy aren't you?" 

"You have no idea baby."

"Oh believe me, I do."

"That's right, you do. Don't ya?" 

"Mhm, I'm seriously hanging up now."

"Okay, okay. Bye baby."

"Bye killer." 

_

"Sorry Johnny, just had to take a call. Was important." 

"I don't wanna hear it Bill. I heard ya sweet talkin'. _Kitten, baby_. Good gravy. Ya' know I don't give a rats ass what ya do with your life, just deal with it on your own time. You got lunch in an hour, wait till then will ya?"

"Yeah Johnny, I hear ya loud and clear." 

"Good. Now go fiddle 'round with that C3 of yours or something. Get outta my hair, Jesus Christ. It's like you're everywhere I turn." 

Billy laughed, turning heel back to his project. "Whatever big guy."

"And stop calling me that!"

Billy just laughed harder. If a monkey wrench just flew by his head it's cause Johnny has real good aim and not because he missed. God this is gonna be the longest hour of Billy's life. 

_

"Uh, hi there. I'm looking for Billy." Steve walked up to the front counter of the garage. Was met by a tall man, large build. He kind of reminded Steve of Hopper, but like older. They have similar eyes. Eyes that can either break you or build you up into a better person. Definitely like Hop. Steve should give them a call and check in on how they're doing. Hasn't seen Joyce or him since Mike and Jane's wedding a few years ago now.

" _Billy_ , huh? And who's askin'?" Johnny raised a knowing eyebrow at Steve. The man's name tag read Johnny in bright red letters. So this is the owner. The guy that took a chance on his Billy all those years ago. Steve wants to say something, thank him. 

"My name's Steve. Uh, you're Johnny right?"

"That I am, boy."

"Um," Steve held out his hand awkwardly.

"I wanted to say thank you for giving Billy this job, like back then. For taking a chance on him, looking out for him."

John gave Steve a once over before accepting his hand and they shook. He gave Steve a nod before pointing to the back of the shop. 

"Bill's back there. Down the hall to the right." 

"Oh, okay. Thanks, again." 

John threw a smile after him once Steve made it around the corner. Shook his head, 

" _Billy?_ " John silently laughed to himself. "Know I said to keep your personal shit on your lunch kid, but I didn't mean to bring it to work."

"Billy?" Steve asked peeking inside the opened doorway. 

"Hey, there he is. There's my baby." Billy was leaning up against the counter top. The one that Johnny built onto the wall instead of buying a kitchenette for the breakroom. It was sturdy enough at least. Held a microwave, a coffee maker and Billy when he felt like sitting on top of it. 

Billy took one last drag of his cigarette quickly before stubbing it out in the ashtray on the folding table they keep in the middle of the room. And then he was all over Steve. Picked him up into a hug, spun him around. Steve bubbled into laughter, laced his arms tight around Billy's shoulders. Buried his face into the crook of Billy's neck. Sighed contentedly breathing in Billy's scent. The scent that Steve's familiar with. 

Grease and sweat and that stupid cologne that is actually way more expensive than people think it is. Steve would know, it was the only thing Billy would ask for, for Christmas or his birthday. Well besides when he was being cute and saying _"all I want is you pretty boy, with a big red bow."_ Which Steve would always oblige him with. 

"Mmm. Hi tiger." Steve nuzzled his face deeper against Billy, even when Billy set him down.

"Miss your smell, always smelt so good." Steve hushed against Billy's neck. It was muffled and Steve's warm breath sent a chill through Billy. 

"I smell like car oil and sweat pretty boy, you seriously like it? And you think I'm gross." Billy teased. 

"You are gross. Guess you just rubbed off on me." Steve pulled back a bit, just so they could lean their foreheads together. Billy wrapped his hand against the back of Steve's neck to keep him there. Not that Steve was planning on moving. There's something so primal and comforting about pressing foreheads together with someone you love.

“Mm, speaking of rubbing off-” Billy smirked sharply, his tongue running over his bottom lip.

“You’re lookin’ awfully cute in this suit baby, bet you’d look cuter out of it though.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I totally would.” Steve laughed, shoving Billy’s shoulder playfully with his free hand.

“I see you haven’t lost your charm there babe.” He teased before handing over the paper bag with no further explanation. 

“What’s this?” Billy raised an eyebrow to the paper bag. 

“It’s your lunch.” 

“I thought you were my lunch Stevie?” He tossed a wink in Steve’s direction. Steve smirked and rolled his eyes before propping himself up against the counter where Billy was standing minutes ago. 

“You really should eat more than once a day tiger. A cigarette isn’t lunch.”

“How you know I only eat once a day, pretty boy?”

“Seriously? Come on Billy, I know you. You’ve only ever eaten once a day if I didn’t literally hand you food.”

“I could’ve changed my eating habits.”

“Mm, but you didn’t, did you?” Steve has a victorious smile plastered on his face when Billy bit his lip trying to not smirk. 

“Whatever,” Billy huffed, put the bag on the table and crowded around Steve again.

“What’d you get me anyway?” He asked, sliding his hands around Steve’s waist. Like hell he’s going to waste time eating when he can spend his entire break touching his boy.

“Your favorite.” 

“Mm you’re my favorite bambi.” Billy crooned against Steve’s ear, pressing little kisses down his neck.

“You’re my favorite too.” Steve giggled, stretched his neck out more as an invitation. Billy happily obliged, his scruff tickled but Steve just pulled him in tighter.

“Stevie, gotta ask ya something. Been thinkin’ ‘bout it since last night.”

“About what?” Steve rubbed his hands tenderly over Billy’s back, holding him so closer. Just sharing body heat and gentle breaths.

“Did you mean what you said on the phone? About not wantin’ to marry Beth anymore…’Bout marrying me?”

“Oh, um. I mean...yeah. I meant it Billy.”

“Then why don’t you just call the whole thing off? You can be _all_ mine again.”

“Killer, it’s not that easy. I work for her father, I've known her, them, for almost as long as I've known you.” He sighed, “but I am yours Billy. All yours, you know that right? How much I want you, it’s always only been you.”

“Fuck, Steve” Billy shivered in Steve’s arms. 

“I just want you so bad baby. All of you, all to myself.” 

“You already got all of me.”

“Mm, damn right I do. And i’m never lettin’ you go again.” 

Billy purred against Steve’s lips, hiking Steve’s leg up to rest on his denim clad hip. Holding him there between a counter and a hard place. Feeling a lot like when they were kids and use to make out in Steve’s kitchen when no one was home. Gripping onto each other like a lifeline. Kissing one another like the other is providing oxygen to their starved lungs. 

_

John looked up from his papers when he heard a crash from the back. 

“Good lord kid, not in the fuckin’ break room.” He wiped his hand over his face, holding it over his mouth like people do. Shaking his head, not about to break up what he knows is happening, he’s just gonna have to tell Billy the break room is forever off limits to him from now on. 

“Paulie, where the hell you think you’re goin’?” John snaps his head up catching him heading to the back room.

“Didn’t ya hear that bang boss? Gonna go check it out.” 

“Like hell ya are. Bill’s on break now, stay outta the back till it’s your lunch.” John looks to the other three members as well when he says 

“Y’all mind your own damn business.”

“Yeah, okay Johnny. Sorry.” Paulie said before retreating.

“Goddamn nosy bastards.” John mumbled.

_

“Sorry! Sorry, I’ll buy the shop a new coffee pot.” Steve's hiss turned to laughter after the embarrassment set in. His back pinned flat against the counter now. Billy leaning down over him, holding both of Steve’s legs around him. Holding him down like a predator over his prey. He was trying to stifle his own laughter with his head pressed against Steve’s chest.

“No, it’s all good kitten. The thing made shit coffee anyways.”

“Oh, want me to bring you an espresso next time?” Steve coiled his arms back around Billy’s neck, raking his fingers through his curls. He’s so sweet, always taking care of him, even when Billy’s been nothing but an asshole to him. 

“As long as there’s a _you_ and a _next time_ , bring whatever the hell ya want baby.” 

He nuzzled into Steve’s chest again, ruffling his button up. Probably rubbing grease off onto it, not that Steve cares about that. It’ll smell like Billy now, something he can cuddle with when he’s waiting to see him again. 

“That reminds me, I brought you something else.” 

“Other than this gorgeous piece of ass,” Billy emphasized by squeezing Steve’s, making his boy writhe against him. Like he was planning that move since he pushed Steve down on the counter. Let’s face it, he probably has.

“I don’t want anything else kitten.”

“Hm, pretty sure you’ll want these.” Steve smirked up at him suggestively.

“Alright then, show me.” Billy countered.

“You gotta let me up to get them tiger.”

“M’nope, don’t want’em that much.” Billy squeezed tighter around Steve, pressing his full weight on him to keep him from getting up. Making Steve laugh, loud and adorably. Billy pressed a wide smile and a contented sigh into Steve’s stomach.

“Baby, i’m serious, come on. Let me up…” Billy shook his head with a muffled _“mm-nn”_ noise like a child. 

“Ugh, fine you get them then. They’re in my jacket, the one you threw on the floor before attacking me may I add.”

“Hey now,” Billy leaned back up a little, just enough to look up at Steve. 

“If it were up to me pretty boy you’d be naked sitting on my lap right now.” And if that image didn’t just spark Steve to his very core. He _wants_ , wants it so bad he whimpers. No, nope, someone has to stay in control of the situation and it sure as hell isn’t going to be Billy. 

“Is that really what you want tiger? Then why do you have me up on the counter?” That earned Steve a head tilt and a curious eyebrow. 

“You serious baby?” 

“Let me up and you’ll find out.” Steve countered. And Billy stood up so fast Steve thought he hurt himself on the broken glass or something. Steve smirked and slid off the countertop, pushed Billy in the direction of the folding chair near the table. He really didn’t need the push though, fell down into it eagerly. Hands out waiting to grab onto Steve. But when Steve stepped in the other direction to grab his jacket, Billy looked like he was about to throw a tantrum. Huffed and everything. Steve picked his blazer up and threw it over the other chair.

“Here” He handed the polaroids to Billy. 

“No way, are these-”

“Yep. Told you you’d want them.” 

“Holy shit Stevie.” Billy smirked looking through them, 

“God, I remember this day.”

“February ninth, nineteen-eighty-six.” Steve said, climbing onto Billy’s lap, just like he wanted. Billy put the photos on the table and opened up his arms to hold his boy. His hands wrapped around to the small of Steve’s back as he straddled him. Slid them down to his hips to pull him in closer.

“That was the first night of many in your apartment.” Steve coiled his arms where they belonged, around Billy’s neck and playing with the tips of his hair.

“Didn’t have to worry ‘bout anyone walking in on us. Could take our time.” Billy added nostalgically. 

“And we did, m’spent all weekend locked up in there. Took those pictures of me, us.” 

Billy nudged his face back into Steve’s chest, his favorite place apparently. Held tighter to him as Steve spoke.

“I was gonna give them to you before you left, the last time I saw you.” _When you left me_ was implied. Billy flinched like the memory physically hurt him. In all honesty, it does. He rocked his hips up into Steve instead, pushing all of that shit down for another time. Just wants to hear Steve sigh like this a little longer.

“Mm, baby, we can’t.”

“Not even a little?” Billy asked smugly, thrusting up again. Burying his face deeper into Steve as he sighed again.

“It’s not like I don’t want to killer, I _want_ to. But we can’t.” Billy groaned, knowingly but displeased all the same.

“Tell me what else do you want, bambi.” He looked up to Steve after he asked, to see his pretty eyes gleam. Watch his beautiful mouth work, to fall in love with him all over again.

“I want to see you more Billy.” Steve gave him a soft smile,

“I mean don’t get me wrong, I love being able to just talk to you again. But seeing you, getting to touch you again like this-”

“I know Stevie, me too. It’s like when I'm not with you all the color leaves too. I’ve been living in black and white. But as soon as you were in front of me again, with those bambi eyes and your pretty smile, you’re my technicolor sweetheart.” Steve giggled, bit his lip. Billy wants to bite it too, maybe he will after this. 

“God, are you only saying that cause I became an artist?”

“No, but now that you mentioned it, that was pretty slick huh?” Billy smiled and wagged his tongue. 

“Oh, speaking of which,” 

“Slick?” Billy raised his eyebrows suggestively. 

“No you perv, of my job. I got that contract I told you about.”

“No way baby? For real?” Steve nodded.

“Holy shit that amazing Steve, congratulations!” He pulled Steve down into a kiss,

“I always knew you we’re gonna do great things! So proud of you baby." Billy hushed when they pulled apart.

"It’s not _that_ amazing killer. The only reason I'm even working there is because it's Beth's father company. Not because I'm some great artist."

"Hey don’t sell yourself short. Christ, don't you know by now Stevie? You could be panhandling in the fuckin’ street and I would be proud of you. Because I know you. I know where you're from, I know the kinda shit you been through-"

"We've been through." Steve interjected. 

"Exactly. How can I not be proud of you?"

Billy caressed the back of Steve’s neck with his hand warm, sending a shiver through Steve. Or maybe it was his passionate words. Billy’s the only person, besides Robin that Steve fully believes means it. That they’re proud of him. Appreciate him. 

“Jesus, I love you so much William Hargrove.”

It bubbled out of Steve with realization. He’s spent the last ten years of his life loving this man. And it hits him so hard, how much he still loves him. Where they are and where he wants to be. It’s a confession that’s on the brink of a proposal. One that Billy is all too willing to accept with that smile, with his hand firm keeping him there. With his own confession,

“I love you Steven Michael Harrington. More than the sun and the moon, and all the damn stars in the sky. More than I ever thought I could, pretty boy.”

“Trying to earn brownie points for remembering my middle name?”

“ You know it.” He smirked, “remember mine?”

“Christopher, duh.” Steve said confidently, Billy raised a brow.

“Right?” Steve started to question himself. 

“I don’t know Stevie, is it?” 

“...Yes? Yeah, it has to be.” Billy laughed at the face Steve made, laughed harder still as Steve punched his shoulder for messing with him. 

“You’re such a jerk.” Steve huffed. 

“Still wanna fuck me though?”

“Oh my god, okay, we have to talk about this Billy.”

“Answer the question Harrington.”

“Yes, asshole. I still want to fuck you. Happy?”

“Very.” Billy purred nestling himself into Steve. If they had more time he'd probably fall asleep like that, breathing Stevie in. Definitely didn’t get enough z’s after last night's fiasco.

“Babe, we have to talk about boundaries and like, what’s considered cheating and stuff. Okay?”

“Mm, yeah, cheating s'bad.” Billy hummed.

“Yeah, I agree.” Steve was a little surprised with Billy’s seriousness. 

“So you’ll stop sleeping with Beth and I’ll stop screwing Kyle. Now that that’s outta the way, let’s kiss again before I have to kick you out.” Yeah, that’s more along what Steve expected. 

“Billy, I’m actually trying to have a serious conversation with you.”

“I know, I know. Sorry Stevie. It’s just I really want to kiss you more before you go baby. What If I don’t get to see you for another three weeks?”

“Mhh. I guess, do you consider kissing cheating?”

“Baby I don’t consider anything with you as cheating. I’m with you before I’m with anyone else. But I get it, I’ll cool it with the other shit. But I don’t think I can stop myself from kissing you, or touching you, holdin’ ya. And right now I only got like, two minutes before we gotta say goodbye again.” Steve smiles, how can he not when he sees how bad Billy just wants him, wants anything Steve is willing to give him. Steve gets it, he feels the same way. So he smiles and leans down, brushing his lips against Billy’s.

“Then just shut up and kiss me Hargrove.” 

_

“Make sure you eat that sandwich.” Steve tells Billy as they’re walking out of the back.

“I will baby, don’t worry.” Billy chimes, totally satisfied with himself. Steve gives John a small smile as he walks by the front counter on his way out. Hair tousled, clothes ruffled and his jacket draped non so inconspicuously in front of his waist. Like everyone that sees him can’t already tell he’s going to go and jerk off in his car. Billy followed him out, looking like the cat that got the conary. Smile a mile wide, even waved at Steve when he turned back for one last glance. Steve flipped him off which just made Billy laugh. John watches the whole scene, if he didn’t already know what was going on, he does now. 

“Bill?” 

“Yeah Johnny.” Billy turns to him, smirk still gracing his face. 

“Let me just give ya some advice and I won’t say shit ‘bout it again.”

“Uh, okay?” Billy's smirk faltered a bit. 

“I like’im, the kid. He seems like he’s got a good head on ‘im. Cares ‘bout you too from what I can tell. So just don’t burn your candle at both ends alright. Ya understand what I’m sayin’?” 

Billy sucked on his bottom lip and nodded his head. He gets it loud and clear. 

“I need your head clear when you're at work. Got it?”

“Yeah. I understand.” 

“Good. Does _he_ know ‘bout him?”

“They’ve met, yeah.”

“But does he _know_?”

“No.” Billy dropped his eyes, waiting for some sort of _talk._ Or a jab, even though Billy knows Johnny ain't like that. But to Billy's surprise, Johnny just nods. A bit too understandably perhaps. Billy doesn't question it though, never really does. Billy nods once back. 

“Thanks Johnny.” 

“Yeah-yeah. Go get back ta work.”

* * *

“Hey bambi, it's me. It's been a few days since I heard your voice. Can you talk?”

“Yeah, always got time for you, killer. I'm actually just leaving the office now, thank God."

“Sounds like ya had a bad day baby. How’s that project going?”

“The project is fine, it’s just I've been working alongside Beth’s father the whole time and I don’t know. He reminds me too much of my own dad. And he keeps bringing up personal shit while we’re working. Talking about the future and the wedding. Like I don’t hear enough about it from... Beth.” Steve scowled at himself for talking without thinking, again. Leave it to him to bring up his wedding with his-what even is Billy? His paramour? No, Billy is his soulmate. Can’t denounce him to to something so-

“Uh, right, yeah the wedding. When is that again pretty boy? Gotta make sure I’m free so I can kidnap you beforehand.” Steve could hear that wicked smile. Billy always thinks his comebacks are so clever. Well at least he’s taking it in stride.

“Changing the subject, so are you and Kyle still fighting?” 

“That’s the subject you decide to change it too?” Billy huffs, not harshly just annoyed. 

“Eh, could be worse I guess. Didn’t poison my coffee yet.”

“Damn, what did you do tiger? It’s been like a week already.”

“I uh, fuck, it’s so stupid bambi. Don’t even want to say it.”

“That bad huh?”

“It’s like, I almost called your name out while we were fucking, kind of bad.”

“Jesus, Billy.” Steve said it even though there was a smirk trying to crawl across his face. 

“Yup... Shit, I’m sorry Stevie, I shouldn’t have told you that.”

“No, I mean I obviously know you guys are sleeping together. I guess I should be flattered it was my name...so is he, uh, better than me?”

“What? Fuck no Stevie. Ain’t nobody better than you. I was thinkin’ ‘bout you the whole damn time. Why you think I called your name?”

“Yeah, guess you’re right. Um, oh, Robin and Heather say hi. I was talking to them before you called. Said that they hope you’re doing good even though you’re the worlds biggest asshole. And Robin is still planning on kicking your ass the next time she sees you.”

“Buckly? Christ, I haven’t heard from her since...how’s she doin?”

“Good, her and Heather just moved to Sanfran last month. Heather’s a dance teacher now and Rob became a journalist for this feminist magazine- or somethinglike that.”

“Wow, that’s really awesome. Happy for them. Tell them I said hi too and that I miss them.”

“Yeah, I will... I uh, I really want to go out there and see them sometime. Haven’t seen them since New Years.”

“We should go then! I never did end up going back to Cali afterwards. And I promised I’d take you some day. Show ya where I grew up, the whole tour.”

“For real? Billy, I'd love that.”

“It’s a date then bambi.”

“Hm. It's a date." Steve smiled, "I’m driving now, gotta go. Love you.”

“Love you too Steve.” 

* * *

_“Congratulations Steve”_ was all Steve heard at the office today. Starting with Cheryl the receptionist when he walked in; right up to Alex, his co-presenter for his next project bid. Steve nodded along, said “thanks” & “yeah, thank you” with a smile. But for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what everyone was congratulating him for. His last project was finished last week and he didn’t even win today’s bid yet. So what’s with… 

“Shit.” Steve hissed under his breath as soon as he caught a glimpse of Beth’s father, his _boss_ , standing in his office. 

“Good morning sir.” Steve greeted him,

“Ah, there he is! Congratulations son. Beth told me the news last night. Good for you, got over those cold feet after all and finally picked a date." 

"I... I, what?" Steve sputtered trying to process one, how hard his boss just clapped him over the shoulder. And two, what date?

"What date?" Steve found himself asking out loud.

"Your wedding son, of course. Beth told me last night over the phone-"

"but we didn't talk about an actual date yet. Wait, Beth was over at Lori's last night." And it suddenly made sense. Beth and her sister got together and decided on the date, without him...without the groom's approval. What the hell? 

"Well then, I guess that explains it. You know how the girls are." He chuckled, Steve wanted to throw his stapler at him.

"However, you should probably talk to Beth. I'll leave so you can talk in private. Oh, don't forget your meeting is at ten so don't let her keep you for too long." 

He gave Steve a quick nod before leaving. Steve didn't look at him when he left. Actually Steve didn't look at anything except his desk that he was leaning over, holding himself up. Furrowed brows and wide eyes filled with disbelief. How could Beth just decide this without talking to him first? What was she thinking? Why didn't she tell him this morning over their coffee? 

He has to sit down, has to call her. Has to tell Billy. Has to talk to Billy, he hasn't called in three days. Jesus, he has to tell him to get the burlap sack and ducktape ready for his abduction. 

"Hello?" Beth's sing-song voice, which is usually so pretty, just sounds like nails on a chalkboard. 

"Beth! What the hell is going on?" 

Steve should have tried to calm down before calling, but his office with glass doors don't hide much to begin with.

"Steve? What do you mean? Why are you yelling?" 

"Well gee, maybe because I just found out through everyone _but_ my fiance that apparently I have a wedding date set! And I don't know when it is!"

"Steve, calm down. I was going to tell you over dinner tonight. The venue _we_ picked called me yesterday and said that they had a date open up and we were first on their waitlist. So I took it.”

"Without discussing it with me first?"

"Yes Steve! If it were up to you we'd probably never be getting married. You've been pushing it off for a year now!" 

"When is it?" Steve's voice was unrecognizable to Beth. Only ever heard him speak this brashly once; they were on spring break, senior year. When he was drunk, Beth had tried to take some old jean jacket he was cuddling away from him. They never talked about it afterwards.

"It's set for October twenty-sixth.” 

“Of this year!” 

“Of course this year.” …But it's already June, so that's only- 

"That's only four months from now Beth!” Steve exclaimed, white knuckles nearly crushing his phone.

“I know how to count Steven. Honestly, I don’t understand why you’re acting like this. It’s like you don’t want to get married.” 

And then there was silence, too much silence from Steve’s end. Like he’s thinking about it, mulling it over. But he’s not questioning whether he wants to get married or not, he knows he doesn’t. Not to Beth anyways. No, he’s mulling over whether this is his chance to tell her. Is this the right moment to break the whole thing off? Tell her: _“hey, actually I don’t want to marry you. It’s not you, you’re amazing. I’m just in love with another man. Remember Billy? You met him a couple months ago. Yeah.”_

“Steve, you do still want to get married don’t you?” 

“Yeah! No, uh I mean yes. Uh, I mean, uh. I have a meeting Beth, we’ll talk later okay? Bye.” 

Steve hung up before Beth had time to respond.

“You fucking coward.” 

He mumbled to himself rubbing his eyes. Whatever, everything will have to wait until after this meeting anyways. So Steve just collected his things and made his way to the conference room. Hopefully Alex will be able to take the lead on this meeting because at this rate Steve is bound to fuck it up. And that’s all he needs, Beth _and_ her father on his back. 

Steve slammed the front door shut when he got home; like he would when he was a teenager, angry that his parents finally decided to stop by for once. This time he does it as some gesture to let Beth know he's still in fact pissed off. To expect a sour mood before prompting this conversation, so choose your words carefully. 

Jesus, when did become so petulant. Beth doesn't even call his name like she normally does. She actually steps out from the kitchen to meet Steve in the foyer. Greets him with a soft, timid grin. He knows she's not afraid of him, not physically. But she looks so small with Steve's eyes seeing everything in red. She looks sad and helpless? Hopeless? God, she doesn't deserve this bullshit.

"Beth, I…" 

Steve starts to break this miserable silence, but he doesn't even know what he wants to say yet. 

"I'm just not ready. To talk, I'm not ready to talk about it yet. I uh, I have to go make a phone call." 

Steve bit his lip and gave a quick nod to her; Beth still in her silence. 

"Okay. Yeah." 

He answered for her, and then Steve climbed up the staircase, didn't even bother taking his shoes off. He'd be lying if he said he didn't wait at their bedroom door to see if Beth was going to follow him. But he didn't hear anything. 

What the hell does he do? Maybe he should call Robs, she'd definitely tell him the _right_ thing to do… after an earful of what a shit fiance he is. Which, yes, Steve takes full responsibility for that. He won't dispute it. He is bullshit, this whole relationship was founded on bullshit. Just like Nancy, just another failed attempt at trying to be normal and happy. 

But fuck it! What part of Steve's life has ever been normal? Not the part where his parents were never there, had nannies raise him. Not the part where he started drinking and smoking at thirteen to try and numb the pain. Definitely not the part where the fucking upside down opened up and let all hell loose. And every time Steve's tried to be normal, it came to call bullshit in his face.

So no, he doesn't want normal and he doesn't want the _right_ thing. He wants the weird and the taboo and the world to stop screaming at him. And the only time that happens is when-

"Billy?" Steve whispered into the receiver. 

"God, Stevie, A guy could get used to this. Getting to hear your voice saying my name like that, you sound so sweet baby. Voice of a damn angel." 

"Hey killer? You, uh, you been drinking?” Steve laughed, quick and sweetly. "It's barely six pm tiger." 

“Mm, it’s a boy's night in baby. Haven’t ya heard?”

“That mean Kyle's there too?” 

“Nope, went to _Leo’s_ . Still pissed at me. It’s been what, like two weeks now? Should just get over it, but nope! He runs to fuckin’ Leo’s _again_.”

“I take it you don’t like this Leo guy babe?”

“He’s Kyle’s ex…”

“Oh. You uh, sound kinda jealous there.” Steve said it a little like a question, a little more self-conscious about it then he’d like to admit.

“Hm, not jealous. Just don’t wanna talk about it. Tell me something good, kitten.”

“Okay, that’s fine. Um, I mean I don't really have good news, actually most of it is the opposite. Uh, oh! I had a dream about you, after we talked last time.”

“Mm, you did? Tell me more baby.”

“Dreamt that you were holding me, we were back in the apartment. You were touching me again, like you used to. It felt so good, so real."

"Stevie just hearing those words, makes me so damn weak.”

"Billy" Steve smiled into the phone, listened to Billy's husky, drunken breathing;

"Jesus, what I would do right now tiger-"

"Baby, c’mon. You're makin' it too hard to be faithful with those lips, sayin’ shit like that."

"I know, I just. I’m fucking everything up Billy. But I don’t care anymore, I just want you.”

"Heh. Damn princess. Bet you say that ta all those boys." 

Steve giggled; it probably sounds bad, but beer drunk Billy has always been one of Steve's favorite sides of him. He's always so goofy in the most adorable way. Liquor drunk Billy is a different story though. Liquor always brings out the angry, lost teenager that Billy is still fighting inside of him.

"Mm ya know, It's funny you're calling me s’tonight. Cause I dreamt of you too bambi."

"Oh really?" Steve smirked, rolling his eyes. Too bad Billy couldn't see it. 

"Mhmm. Always do. You must be tired huh?” 

“Why do you ask?” Steve straight up giggled, he knows this line. Billy use to use this one all the time.

“Why? Cause you been running through my mind baby. Never take a break, it’s like a marathon." 

"Yeah, running a marathon to get back to you.” Brown eyes closed on a sigh. “I always see you when I close my eyes too Billy. God, what are we doing? This is all my fault, I should just man up and te-”

"No way Stevie, I fucks'd it up a long time ago. Always fuckin' up the best things. It's all my fault, should'a s'tayed, I should have tried. I shouldn’t 've been a fuckin’ coward."

"No! It wasn't like that tiger you know that! Don't put it all on yourself!...shit. Hold on…"

Billy heard Steve mumbling, hand covering the phone. Sounded like it was a woman he was talking to...Beth. Tried to make out the words, thinks Beth said something about _talking_. Steve told her he’s still on the phone and something else.

"Okay, sorry." Steve said, apologizing to Billy.

"She know you're talking to me sweetheart?"

"No, told her it’s business. We got into this big fight. She wants to talk more but, I just don’t see the point.” Steve paused taking in a deep breath.

“She doesn't know we’ve been talking. Don't really mention you to her, or about this part of me." 

"What part s’that, Stevie?" 

"That part that you still have."

"God, you're killing me Bambi." Billy slinked down lower into the sofa, his legs splayed out a little wider. He doesn’t remember when he unbuttoned his jeans but that’s perfectly alright with him. Past Billy did present Billy a solid and future Billy has to thank him for that later.

"Does _he_ know?" Steve asked tacitly, interrupting the blonde’s rhythm..

"No. At least I haven’t told him, he can think what he wants. Don’t care." Billy shrugged it off. Traded his dick in hand for his beer, took too big of a mouthful of it. Finished it off and just tossed it aside on the couch.

"Will it start another fight if he finds out?" 

Steve asked like he doesn’t already know the answer. Like he’s fishing for Billy to say it with his own mouth. Well, it’s the truth anyhow. So he might as well indulge himself while he tells Stevie what he wants to hear.

"Baby, if he finds out- it’ll be the final nail in this coffin I've been building. But what about her though, if she finds out?" 

"It’ll put an end to this wedding bullshit, that’s for sure. But she doesn't have a clue right now, as far as I’m concerned. Billy, I don't want to lie but… I want you. I want you more than anything. _Need you_ more than anything tiger."

" _Mmmf fuck”_ Billy’s breath shuttered “baby, say it again." 

"...Billy? Wait, are you?"

" _Mhm_ , how you expect me not to when you're sayin' such sweet things to me baby. Whispering right in my ear." 

"Told you before I can't be too loud." 

"I ain't complaining princess. I miss it. How you use d’to whisper in my ear after we fucked real good. _Aah-_ use ta say-"

"You're the only person I'll ever let touch me like this. Only one that deserves it."

" _Mmm- fuck_ , oh Stevie, _baby-_ "

"It's still true Billy. Only one that has. Never let anyone else."

"Oh fuck, _fuck_ . Still so good baby... _Mmmh_ , you're so fuckin' good to me. Don't deserve it, _hah-_ never did." Billy panted.

" _Fuck_ .” Steve whined “yes you do killer, fuckin’ deserve the world! Jesus, I’m _so hard_ right now listening to you." 

"Yeah? Just for me?"

"Always, only you."

"Christ Stevie. _Ah_ -can you?"

"Uh, hold on. Let me…" The line went quiet for a minute, Billy could hear shuffling and then another sound. Like a hiss.

"...Baby?" Billy finally said something after another minute of silence.

"Still here, I had to lock myself in the bathroom, like a kid again.”

“Ha! What’s that noise though?” 

“Turned the shower on so she won’t bother us."

 _‘Us’,_ Billy loved the sound of that. It sent another spark wave through his body thinking how easily Steve said it. That they’re an ‘us’ again. 

"Are you touching yourself yet, princess? Touch yourself kitten and pretend it's me." 

" _Mmm_ … _Billy_ ,” he whimpered, breath hitching, “when you say shit like that- _ahh_ "

"That’s it. Come on Stevie, wanna hear that pretty voice. You know what I'm thinkin' about?" 

" _Haa-ah_ , m’what?" 

"'’Member that night I snuck you out of the castle and we tried ta get inta that show in the town over?" 

“ _God- Billy_ , fuck." 

"Still can feel yur pretty mouth on me baby. _M’ahh-_ did so good baby. Got down on your knees for me right on the dirty concrete, up against that wall." 

_"Oh fuck!_ Mm- never got to see them afterwards."

"Hah- I'd take you in that dirty alley a-any day ‘stead of some shitty band baby."

" _Ah_ , that was- _hm-_ my first- _nnn-_ "

"First time suckin' cock, this cock. You were so fuckin' gone, hmm- those big ah-bambi eyes, covered in my spunk. Such a beautiful mess babe, _haa-s_ wallowed me down so- _fff-uck-_ so good."

" _Shit_ , fuckin love it when you talk like that killer."

"Fuck Stevie, wanna cum all over that pretty face again."

" _Oh_ fuck, _please_ Billy, _tiger_ , want you to! Cum all over me- ahh _. Oh God!_ Wanna t-taste you, need it baby! Need it so bad." 

" _Mmm-ah_ ! Fuck, gonna, _fuck_ so close, gonna fill you up so good baby-" 

"Billy- _, ha-ah, ah,_ you fff-feel so good. Cum so I can taste you again, _feel you_."

" _Steve!_ _Aah-fuck, hmmm…_ can you taste me baby? Jesus, made a mess all over that angel face of yours." 

"Ah! _Mmph_ , Billyyy!" 

"That's it, just like that pretty boy. Come for me.” Billy prattled in the sexy, raspy, still coming down from that high, voice that could make Steve commit murder; he’s sure of it. That voice always has and always will bring Steve to the very brink of insanity. What it does to him.

" _Oh God_ ! Oh _Fuck, oh fuck…ahh!...Mfff_ ” Steve cried and whimpered, breath hitching in his throat as he spilled all over himself. Panting to catching his breath,

"Billy? You still there?"

"Yeah, couldn’t leave at the best part could I? Hearing you like this again, I haven't come that hard, hell, don't know how long. It's all ‘cause of you Stevie, cause you're still mine. Still want me after all this time. All the bullshit I put you through." 

"'Yeah, killer, I'm yours. Always, forever. You're still mine, right?" 

"Forever isn't long enough. You're stuck with me baby." 

"God, I wanna see you again Billy. Wanna touch you. Want you to hold me." 

"Me too Stevie, Goddamn I wanna hold you so much kitten. Never let you go." 

"Can we? Think we could meet up?" 

"What, like at a hotel?" Billy raised an eyebrow at the idea. It’s not like he’d say no but,

"I mean…that, or I could come there?" Steve proposed timidly. 

"Steve? I mean I wanna, fuck I want to! I just don't, don't want you to get in trouble with the wife, ya ‘know.”

"Jesus, she's not my wife. I already told you tiger, as soon as I figure out how to break off the engagement for good, it's over. It'll be just you and me." 

"I know pretty boy. You already know my answer baby. It’s up to you, Kyle isn’t coming back tonight... I don’t wanna push your boundaries."

“Fuck the boundaries! I want you Billy. I need you, all of you.”

“Stevie, Christ, you make me the happiest fuckin’ man on earth when you say that baby. I’ll send you my address… What are you gonna tell Beth?”

“Oh, um, the truth? Just going to have a boys night in with Billy.”

Billy laughed giddily, love drunk and drunk-drunk on cheap beer.

“I’ll see you soon sweetheart, fuckin’ love you so much baby.”

“I love you too! Be there in twenty. Okay?” Steve gigged all bubbly, feeling more alive with the promise of seeing Billy again with every passing second. 

“I’m waiting for you Stevie.”

_

“Steve?” Beth called as Steve made his way down the stairs.

“Steven, are we going to talk about this? You’ve barely said two words to me since you got home! This is serious, do you want to marry me or not?” 

She was tearing through him like a tropical storm that Steve just didn’t have the means to withstand. 

“I’m going out right now. We’ll talk later. I’m not in the right headspace for this conversation Beth.” 

“Going where? And it’s a simple yes or no question Steve! Do you want to marry me? Yes or no?” 

“I’m going to go catch up with Billy alright. Had the night planned out for a week, I’m not bailing last minute to sit here and listen to you yell at me.”

“I’m not yelling at you Steven! Why do you always make me the bad guy? I’m just trying to have a conversation with you.”

“Yeah well, I don’t want to converse right now, alright? I’ll be back late so don’t wait up.” Steve stomped out of the house like the ever perpetual selfish child he believes he is.

“Steve!...Steve we need to talk about this! Don’t leave!”He slammed the door as he left. 

That’s one for the books people. The book of dick moves by Steve Harrington. God if Robin was here to see this, she’d be dragging him back by his ear to apologize to Beth. And he will, he really will...just after he sees Billy. _Needs_ to see him. Steve has a one track mind and it's currently fixed on getting to Billy, so he can hold him until he forgets his own damn name.

** “Hook up to 10th street i’m at 124 Allen Dr  **

**if you see a golf course you went to far pretty boy”**

Billy texted Steve his address as Steve was already pulling off of his own street. They really do live within twenty minutes of each other again. Except Atlanta isn’t Hawkins, can’t even pretend that it is. It’s just too different, everything is too different now. Billy. Billy is the only thing that’s still the same, how much they love each other. That’s the familiarity that Steve needs right now because he’s crashing. 

He doesn’t even realize he’s been running on autopilot since he pulled out of his driveway, didn’t realize it until he pulled up to Billy’s apartment. Until he parked on the street and climbed up the concrete steps and knocked on the door. Until Billy opened said door and Steve could breathe again. Well, he would be breathing again, that is if Billy didn’t steal his breath away. Pulled him through the doorway with his mouth and firm grasp. Had Steve’s back pinned to the wall so fast he didn’t even have a chance to shut the door behind him. Billy slammed it closed with his foot instead.

His body unrelenting, flushed against Steve’s and his hands were everywhere. Steve was captured and enraptured all at once. Whimpered in surprise at the ferocity of it and his own hands tugged and fumbled up Billy’s back and down his sides. Billy groaned into Steve’s mouth as Steve found his belt loops, pulling him in even closer against his own body. In the five seconds of down time they allowed themselves, where they parted lips to breathe, Steve whispered 

“Hi tiger.” Panting such sweet rushed breaths. Billy looked a him, a stupid smirk engraved on his face, “hi bambi.” 

He hushed back with that husky voice before returning his mouth to Steve’s. Pulling and prodding him off the wall and up into his arms. Steve wrapped his legs around Billy’s waist; his hands found home in those blonde curls. Billy carried him into his bedroom, mouths never parting. He only stumbled once to his credit, quickly catching his balance on his door frame. They fell onto Billy’s bed hard with a moan and a grunt, respectively. With Billy hovering over Steve, who looked so beautiful sprawled out over his ivory sheets. Looked like a _king._ And Billy smiled thinking that; unabashedly gawking over him.

“My king.” 

Billy purred. Steve looked up at him pleadingly, biting his smiling lip; wishing Billy would bite it instead. Billy splayed his hands over Steve's stomach, pushing his shirt up to his chin with those warm, heavy hands. Grounding Steve with them, here, in this moment. He arched up into Billy’s touch. Eyes closing tight on a deep moan when Billy teasingly swiped over his perked nipples. 

"Christ, Stevie. I'm gonna worship you” 

Billy said it low, like a whisper, but it held so many emotions. Layered like a rose, every petal expressing a different emotion. Desire, disbelief, gratitude. 

“Make it last forever killer, so I won’t have to leave when it’s over.” Steve gave him those bambi eyes, the ones he drowns in every goddamn time. 

“Don’t worry princess, I won’t let ya leave. You won’t be able to walk after I’m done with ya.” 

They both laughed, giddy and euphoric. Laughed through the tears that hid behind their eyes, through the ones that slid down Steve’s heated face. Billy peppered him with kisses, licked those shed tears up like a treat. Like he savored the taste and nuzzled deep into the crook of Steve’s neck. He took a moment to breathe, to smell Steve and let it flood through him. Making sure he’s not passed out drunk on the couch and having a fever dream. Making sure that this, that Steve is real. Is really here underneath him. And Steve knows him so well, knows every in and out, every nut and bolt and scar that makes up Billy Hargrove. Knows him better than he knows himself. 

“I’m here killer. This is real. I’m real.” 

Steve whispers as his gracile hand pets all of Billy’s insecurities away. Billy tilts his head, just enough to see Steve’s beautiful face. Yeah, he’s real. This, this is real…

“Steve?”

“Yeah?” 

“Tell me what to do. I need this to be everything you've dreamt of. Want it to be perfect for you."

“I want you to fuck me-” Steve giggled.

“Yeah, that’s that plan pretty boy.” Billy smirked, his confidence recovering quickly.

“Then, I want you to make love to me, and never stop.”

Billy nodded, eyes more serious, “I can do that… But first, let’s ditch the threads. Let’s see how many new beauty marks you have since the last time I counted them.” 

“Yeah right! Like you actually remember that?” Steve said amused.

“Do you doubt me?” Billy mocked offense but couldn’t fend off that smirk.

“Doubt you?” Steve bit his lip into a smile and shook his head. “Never.” 

And he means it. Steve will never doubt Billy again, because doubting him is like doubting divine intervention. Like putting a return to sender label on a miracle. Like shutting the door on love itself. No, Steve needs all the love and miracles he can get, thank you. 

_

“Ahh- oh fuck right there!” Steve whined and clung to Billy, his right hand slid up and perched on the blonde’s nape. He pulled Billy down for another kiss. Billy went easily, purred against Steve’s lips. He’ll never get over how much he loves how needy Steve gets when they’re in the heat of it. When his fingers are buried deep inside him like this. The anticipation, the tight friction, the mess dripping down his thighs; the in awe but still needing more look on Steve’s face. Like he just can’t get enough, and Billy understands that more than anyone. Because he can’t, he’ll _never_ get his fill of this man. And he’ll spend the rest of his life proving that theory too.

“You’re so perfect baby,” Billy murmured against Steve’s chest. 

“So fucking good for me Stevie.” Steve gripped tighter to him, arching up into Billy’s touch.

“Feel good?” Billy whispers with a smirk, looking down at Steve. Watching him somewhere between a memory and the present. Everything is so familiar, every flinch and moan and shiver. It’s like deja vu except they’re both completely aware that they’ve been here, numerous times before. 

“So good!” Steve panted as Billy continued to fuck into him with three fingers now, stretching him open. It’s been so long since anyone has touched Steve like this, Billy will be damned if he’s the one to hurt him now. So he’s taking his time, going so slow. Making sure that Steve’s body remembers every little bump in the road before they go for a joy ride again.

“Billy!” Steve keened, pressing kisses to any skin he can get it mouth on. 

“Billy, want you,” he whimpered. Tears trapped in the corner of his eyes, his eyelashes look so much thicker when they’re wet like that. 

“Billy I need you, please. Please!”

Well, who's Billy to deny such a beautiful, begging angel. Really though, Billy’s never been this painfully hard in his life. If Steve wasn’t already begging, Billy would probably beat him to it.

But when Billy finally, _finally_ slides into him. Enraptured by the heat and the sweet, wet friction of being inside Steve again. After seven fucking years! There’s no comparison. No analogy for it that could come close to explain the ecstasy that takes over them. Billy shivers with it as Steve squeezes around him. It’s like a tidal wave of euphoria, so much so he can barely speak. Can barely get out, 

“Gotta relax kitten. I’m gonna take it slow, but you gotta relax first.”

Steve does, relaxes into Billy’s plush comforter under him. It smells like Billy and Steve wants to bury himself in it. Billy arches Steve’s legs up to get a better angle; Steve’s breath gets caught in his throat with the movement. He squeezes his eyes shut tight for a moment only to finds bright blues gazing down at him when he reopends them. 

“I’m okay.” Steve assures and just like that, Billy’s worried brows disappear. Steve nods his consent for Billy to start moving. The blonde can’t help but roll his head back when he does from the pleasure of it. Let’s out one of the most heady groans Steve has ever heard. It sent a shiver through him, straight to his dick.

“Fuck baby, you feel amazing! So fucking good.” Billy rambles on like a waterfall, 

"Can't believe I get to be inside you again." and "Jesus I forgot how good you feel." 

Steve is just left gasping every time Billy slides back into him, hitting _that_ spot. Like an arrow hitting it's mark every time, so practice, perfect. Because that's what they are, practiced. Their body's muscle memory takes over and they run on pure, perfected experience.

“God Stevie, I know this is real but you look like a dream come true. Look so beautiful like this.” Billy looked like he was forcing back tears and Steve pretty much lost whatever sanity he was holding onto. Couldn’t hold back, doesn’t care if tomorrow he’ll be sore as fuck. Doesn't care if he can't walk because he doesn't ever want to leave this bed anyways. He needs this, needs everything, every iota of Billy he can get. 

Steve cages Billy in with his thighs, locking him up and throwing away the key. Not that Billy is complaining, he’ll be Steve prisoner. He’ll be Steve’s anything. The brunette moans as he shifts, the new angle making everything more electrifying. 

“Billy, _more_.” Steve hisses and Billy takes the invitation immediately, picking up the pace. Steve’s hands clinging to Billy’s shoulders. His whines are a symphony that Billy sways back and forth to.

“Tiger!” Steve tugs at Billy and Billy knows, because even after seven years he still knows Steve just as well as Steve knows him. Billy dives into his mouth with a bruising kiss. Steve grips tighter to him. Whimpers into his mouth and Billy devours it. Fucking smiles against Steve's lips. Has to smile because goddamn, 

“Fuck! Steve has it always felt this good?” Because Billy is having a hard time remembering the last time sex has ever felt as mindblowing as this feels. Nothing can top this kind of good. 

“Only with you.” Steve huffs out, his voice shot and raw. His eyes are blown and glazed over. He looks like a sweet slice of heaven and Billy is completely convinced that he’s in the company of an angel. No doubt in his mind. 

“I love you baby. Fuck I love you so much.” Billy’s pace quickens, taken over by pleasure. Chasing the rapture. Steve moaned and sighed under him. He let go of Billy’s shoulders so he could grip the pillow under his head as Billy buried himself inside him with punishing force. 

Steve could feel himself inching closer and closer to the edge, his thighs starting to shake, he’s so close.

“Billy” he cries, “gonna cum.”

“Me too baby.” Billy groans, his hips snapping ever deeper and Steve is begging him. Begging him for nothing in particular, just a chorus of "pleasepleaseplease!" With those perfect lips shaping into that perfect "oh" in between. 

They're both so close. Both rocking in sync now chasing after the finish line, to cloud nine. They might have even came at the same time. That is if Steve didn't whine and beg,

"Billy! Cum inside me. Fuck! Wanna feel you fill me up again. Ah! Oh my god- please!"

Billy lost it. Has absolutely no chance winning the race with Steve pleading to him with that kind of demand. He obliges Steve's wish with one more buck, deep and sharp before his hips stutter to a halt. Lets out a gut-punched groan as he emptied himself into Steve. 

Steve cries out indistinguishable sounds before he follows Billy's lead and cums too. Feeling Billy's heat filling him from the inside out. Completely engulfed by utter bliss. His face says it all as he looks up at Billy. If he wasn't so gone he'd laugh. Will definitely laugh at how insanely amazing that was, but he has to come down from the high first. 


	3. -PART THREE-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He looks down to his almost future, his everything; his whole fuckin’ world that fit so nicely on a twin bed. That belongs in this place, not in Billy’s arms. Memorizes every eyelash, every mole like he hasn’t already ingrained it in his mind. Like he couldn’t already map the brunette out blindfolded, upside down. He leans in, hovers over him, and feels his breath brush his lips. Kisses his forehead, whispers:  
> “I love you Steve Harrington. Only you. Forever” in his ear; and then the blonde slips from that room. Slips away from Steve’s life like a thief in the night. Stole his heart and left with it, but it was truly the opposite. Billy gave his heart away to Steve two year ago; he left it with him for safekeeping.   
> Billy gently shut the door to that part of his life, shut the door like building walls around himself.
> 
> (((AKA Major flashbacks, tearjerker and a lot of Angst and fluff!!!)))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that I built this whole story around xD It's my favorite one in the fic so I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Steve was jostled awake; startled by nothing in particular. He just awoke suddenly to a dark room and with such a warmth pressed to his back. And warmer still were the hands that held him so closely, splayed over his chest. An instant relief, pure comfort washed over him when his memories returned. Where he is, who he’s with...what they did. Over and over again. Everything, every touch and sigh, every moan and growl and whimper (mostly on his part), every round (four to be exact) returned to him with utter clarity. 

He sunk deeper against Billy’s warm chest. Breathed in deeply; nuzzled his head into Billy’s pillow, the one that smells like him now. The thought of Billy holding it close to his face later, thinking about him and what they did in this bed together. Steve smiles so audaciously at his thoughts. It feels like they won, being back in each other’s arms like this. No matter what’s going on in the world outside, they won. And now they get to revel in it! Except Billy's alarm clock reads three-thirty am. And it hits Steve like a truck just how long he's been gone. How long Beth has been waiting for him to get back home.

Steve shifts a bit, he feels Billy's muscles flinch over him. He debates if he should leave this love nest with the love of his life in it or if Beth could wait. He feels like an asshole for how long he earnestly thinks about it. He knows what the right thing to do is.

“Bambi stay with me; wanna hold you more.” Billy groans as Steve shifts again. He must have woken Billy up the first time he moved when he checked the time.

“I know tiger. I want to, but I have to go. Beth is going to worry if I’m not there when she wakes up.” 

Billy didn't like that response. Having to remember their reality first thing, barely awake; didn't even have his damn coffee yet. He bared his teeth and huffed.

“Goddammit Steve. Fuck Beth! You’re mine! You belong in my arms not her's. I’m fuckin’ sick of sharing you. I hate thinking about you with someone else when I’m right here!”

Christ it's too early for this. Steve should have shoved _"the right thing to do"_ to the curb and just stayed there in Billy's warm embrace. But he didn't. Because he's an idiot with a conscience. So he sat up, wanted to get off the bed all together but can't afford to be that far away from Billy's reach. 

“Hey! Don’t say that! Jesus, you know I’m yours Billy! How many times do I have to say it? We literally just made love." Steve pleaded more than argued. 

"Yeah, so what is this then? You come down here and make love to me and then run back home to your wife." 

“She’s not my wife! And It’s not like I’m thrilled to know you’ve been sharing a bed with Kyle for the past three months since I’ve been here! Getting jealous when he stays with his ex! Fuck your double standers asshole! You think I can sleep at night wondering if you’re touching him like how you use to touch me? How do you think it feels knowing that you left me for him! That you settled for him when you could’ve had me, have me!”

“Stevie-”

“No! Don’t Stevie me! We wouldn’t be in this damn mess if you didn’t leave me Billy. If you didn’t run away…I would’ve been in your bed the whole time, not Kyle… There wouldn’t be a Beth, it would be me and you. The way it’s supposed to be.” 

Steve really broke down. Couldn’t stop the tears from falling, he was practically sobbing. 

“I was waiting for you. I’ve been waiting.” 

He’s on the verge of hyperventilating before Billy pulled him back up onto the bed into his arms. Tucked Steve safely away under his chin, pressed tightly to his chest. Steve has been so patient this whole time. Waiting for Billy to just explain it to him. Tell him why he left all those years ago! But he just can’t keep quiet anymore. It hurts too much. 

Billy ran his hands up and down Steve’s arm, his back. Lulled him with gentle nothings. 

“Shhh, you’re okay baby. I’m here. I’ll always be here. I’m sorry, I’m sorry for everything Steve.”

They stayed like that for a while. Until Steve's breathing regulated and his eyes became sore. And his fingers were stiff from clenching Billy's shirt so tightly. 

"I'm sorry." Steve whispers, more like breathes it out on a sigh. 

"Sorry for saying that." He adds.

"Don't be, baby. You're right. Everything you said is right on the money. It's just..."

"What, what is it?" Steve shifted a bit in Billy's arms. Uncurled himself from Billy's chest so he could look at him properly. 

"It's just I think I need to explain myself. I'm not saying it as an excuse, okay? There was so much stuff going on inside my head pretty boy and I just want you to know the whole story. I don't want to keep avoiding it like a timebomb. It’s been two months now and we haven’t talked about it. I think it's something we need to get out into the open if we're gonna make this work baby." 

Steve sniffed, wiped his face with the back of his hand and sat up. 

"Okay. Yeah, you're right. I don’t wanna keep avoiding it. I wanna know the whole story, tiger; so tell me everything."

“Alright, it uh, it all kind of started that night when you moved in. Back in ‘86”

_ *** _

_**February 8th 1986** _

_ Billy is at Steve's house. Picked him up at Family Video after his shift ended. They're packing a bag for Steve to bring over to Billy's new apartment. He signed the lease for it not even three days ago. Billy got the okay from the doctors that he’d finally recuperated enough to live on his own. Was living in assisted care after they managed to resuscitate him after Starcourt. After the Mind Flayer laid into him back in July, last year. Stevie was there with him everyday, no matter what. Even if he could only stay for a few minutes, he showed up with his pretty little face. Would sneak Billy in random things, like car magazines and mars bars. Would even smoke Billy’s cigarettes for him, so Billy could breathe it in second hand. Otherwise the smoke would burn his lungs and possibly cause a rupture if he coughed too hard. Steve didn’t mind though, he’d always go home smelling a little like Billy that way. And Billy definitely didn’t mind, he got to kiss Steve, taste the stale smoke on his tongue.  _

_ But now he’s out; was released in early December under the care of Hop. Staying with him wasn’t too bad, and Billy took a liking to Janey real quick. Hopper even found him a job at the little auto repair across from the arcade. Steve comes in to visit him, or bring him lunch whenever he drops the kids off at the arcade. That’s how he’s renting the apartment that they’re currently trying to rush off to. Of course Steve needs to bring everything he owns, like it’s not only twenty minutes from his house. _

_ “Babe, c’mon. You got enough shit in the bag to put on your own fashion show. Ya’ know you can just borrow my clothes.”  _

_ “Yeah, yeah. Just let me grab my shampoo and stuff from the bathroom and we can leave. Go wait for me downstairs.”  _

_ “Jesus, alright. But hurry it up will ya.”  _

_ Billy hauls the duffel bag over his shoulder with a grunt. He hears a car pulling in as he’s making his way down the stairs.  _

_ “Baby?”  _

_ “I’m hurrying, okay!” Steve shouts back,  _

_ “No, not that. You expecting company?”  _

_ “What? No, why?” _

_ “Cause we got some.” _

_ It took Steve a second to reach the top of the stairs. He looks down at Billy who’s standing on the last step, trying to see who it is.  _

_ “I can’t see who it is, car looks nice though. Black Cadi.”  _

_ “A Cadillac?” _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “Shit! It’s my dad. Fuck! Billy come back upstairs, you gotta hide.” _

_ Billy laughed, “babe, my car is right out front. He already knows someone else is here. Although that’s pretty kinky of you. Maybe we'll roleplay this when we get back to our place?” _

_ He winks up to Steve, and Steve’s in panic mode right now but the fact that Billy calls it  ‘our’  place instead of his place doesn’t elude him. He just can’t focus on that right now because he needs to figure out what he’s going to say to his father. “Hey, you’re back? Wow, long time no see. Where’s mom? Welp, I’m gonna go move in with my boyfriend now, see you round Thanksgiving” doesn’t seem like a realistic option. _

_ Billy is still just standing there like he’s waiting to personally greet Mr. Harrington. God, Steve doesn’t put it past him either. Would probably go right up to him and shake his hand, tell him:  “You know, you’re an even bigger asshole than my old man. Cause he beats me, sure, but at least he sticks around to see if I’m alive or not. But I gotta thank you, cause your son is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So thank your very fuckin’ much, but fuck you.” _

_ Steve would pay to see that actually, but right now all he wants to do is get out of here without his father preaching some responsibility bullshit. Or even worse,  “who’s going to watch the house while your mother and I are gone? If you’re going to move out anyways you might as well just go to college!”  Maybe they have time to go out the back door by the pool? _

_ “Steve, who’s car is parked out front?” Mr. Harrington asks as he walks through the front door.  _

_ Steve freezes on impact, cause of course he does.  _

_ Alternative dimension? Sure why not. Crazy horror movie monsters? Let me grab my bat. Fucking Mind Flayers? Grab the fireworks. Explain that you’re going to stay with another boy in his apartment for a while? Fucking run for the hills. The only things scarier than this moment was probably when Steve thought Billy was going to die. That,  that  will always be the number one worst moment of Steve’s life. _

_ “Hell sir.” Billy’s voice cuts in before Steve can even locate his own tongue to move it.  _

_ “My name is Billy Hargrove, I’m a friend of Steve’s from highschool.That’s my car out there.”  _

_ And he sounds so charming, so grown up? It’s a voice Steve hasn’t heard from Billy since, ever.  _

_ “Hargrove? Do I know your parents young man?” Mr. Harrington meets Billy half way. Billy walks the other half into the foyer. Steve can barely see them from where he is. _

_ “I don’t believe you do, sir.”  _

_ “Hm? I don’t mean to be so frank with you, Billy, is it? But what are you doing in my house and  where  is my son?” _

_ “Here! I’m right here.” Steve finds his mouth quickly, rockets himself down the rest of the stairs. He can’t let his father chew out Billy, he didn’t even do anything yet!  _

_ “Ah, there you are...why are you carrying-what’s going on here?”  _

_ “Uh, dad, so Billy here got this apartment. And-and uh-” _

_ “My apartment is right by where Steve works, and Steve is covering the early morning shifts for his manager for the next little while. I invited him to stay over so he won’t be late to open up the store.” Billy save’s Steve...he’s always saving Steve.  _

_ “Is that so? Steve?” Mr. Harrington points his stare directly at Steve. _

_ “Uh, yes. Yeah, like Billy said.” _

_ “Well then how long is this arrangement for exactly?”  _

_ “Not...really sure right now. For the next month?” Steve looks to Billy quickly for approval, for something. _

_ “For now, might be extended if Steve is good at opening up.” Billy smirked. Steve’s eyes grew wide, pressed his lips tightly together to stifle his laugh. Billy just made a sex joke in front of Steve’s dad...holy shit! If Steve didn’t already love Billy so much he’d be falling for him. Is falling for him all over again.  _

_ “Right, yeah. I’m planning on giving my all, so we’ll see how it goes.” Steve jabbed Billy as he pushed past him.  _

_ “Anyways, dad, we were heading out so um...I’ll see you later.” Steve was already juggling the bottle of hair products to open the front door again. Billy should have followed him, was supposed to follow right behind him. But he was still inside.  _

_ “Mr. Hargrove, a word?”  _

_ “Yes sir?”  _

_ “I don’t quite understand the situation, but I do understand that type of person you are. Now my son is in a rebellious phase, thinks he’s an adult and can do as he pleases. I have him on a long leash so he can taste what the real world is like, to work, to pay bills. But come fall I’m tightening that leash and he’s going to college. I won’t interfere with the whole bachelor pad nonsense for now, but mark me. Come August he’s leaving for school and you’ll have to find a new wealthy family to take advantage of. Do I make myself clear?”  _

_ Billy just stands there, appalled and eyes squinting into a deep glare. Does he seriously think Billy is the type of guy to invite Steve over just so he can pay for the bills? So he can use daddy’s money because Billy is obviously white trash poor and can’t afford it on his own? He’s never wanted to hit someone so badly before, fists itching to lay into this guy. Not even his own father urks him as much as this haughty dickbag does.  _

_ “Well, Mr. Harrington. It’s clear that you don’t know the first thing about me or the type of person I am. So if you’ll excuse me, Steve’s waiting for me to go back to  our place.” _

_ “You’re only going to make this worse for him. The deeper roots he grows playing house with you the more it’ll hurt to when I uproot him.” Mr. Harrington shouts as Billy is making his exit.  _

_ “Billy? What were you guys talking about?” Steve asks him as Billy rounds the car.  _

_ “Nothing sweetheart, just get in the car. Let's go home.”  _

__

_**June 18th 1986** _

_ Billy is picking Steve up at the Harrington's household. Steve swung by to get the rest of his summer clothes. Billy went to the check in with Max since she’s over at the Byers place while Steve got his things. Doesn't realize Steve’s parents are home when he pulls up because their cars are in the garage. So he parks and is about to just walk into the house to greet Steve with a kiss, when he hears yelling. Hears them shouting through the door, through the walls of the Harrington manor. It’s clearly Steve and his father.  _

_ “You are going to college! Do you hear me? You are leaving in less than three months!” _

_ “I told you a hundred times I don't want to go! You can't make me. I'm an adult!” _

_ “I don't see an adult here! I see an overgrown child that still needs his father's money! So you are going to school so you can make your own way in the world!” _

_ “Oh my god! I have my own money!”  _

_ “You really think working at the video store is going to pay rent Steven? Think you can have a life and a family on minimum wage?” _

_ “For your information it is paying rent! And I don't want a white picket fence life! I don't want any of the future you planned for me!” _

_ “Really? So what, you and that boy really think you're going to run away together and live happily ever after? Yes, I notice things Steven. Just because I'm not here twenty four seven doesn't mean I don't keep tabs. Do you seriously think that boy is going to live up to anything? He's nothing! He's trash! He's going to go down in flames and he'll drag you with him! Ten years from now you're going to be living in a shoe box, no money, no ground to stand on! Wishing you listened to your parents and went to school! Got a career! A nice  wife and family." _

_ "You don't know shit! You don't know him, you don’t know his dreams! What he’s capable of, he has so much potential! More than me! You want me to have a good life? Send him to college instead! Because no matter what you say I’m staying with him!” _

_ Billy stands there, outside the door. Hears his little bambi defend him so proudly. Jesus, does he really think that highly of him? Shit. He’s right though, Mr. Harrington is right about that. Steve deserves so much more, more than Billy can give him. Deserves the fuckin' world. Not some shitty apartment in bumbfuck nowhere. Not some pipe dream of going to New York City so Billy can go to school. California is just the hopes of a dreamer. He can’t truly promise any of that to his baby. Can’t write it in stone. He should go, make sure he can provide for himself because Billy isn’t worth the dimes he’s making.  _

_ Billy goes back to the Camaro, sits there for a moment thinking before he honks the horn. Pretends he just pulled in, like he’s in too much of a rush to get out. A beat later Steve is flying out the front door like he just robbed the place. Billy is smiling just at the sight of him.  _

_ “Hey tiger! Miss me?” _

_ “Baby, I missed you like Hades' misses Persephone during spring time.”  _

_ “I know that’s super romantic but I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”  _

_ “Don’t worry pretty boy, I’ll read it to you when we get home.” _

_**August 27th, 1986** _

_ "It’s a nice place.” Billy tried to cheer the brunette up as they piled boxes on the floor of the dorm.  _

_ “I’d rather be back at your place,” Steve huffed. _

_ “I know Bambi, but this is gonna be so good for you.” Billy croons, walking up and hugging Steve from behind, arms latching around his waist. _

_ “Only reason i’m here is ‘cause my dad paid my way in. I shouldn't be here. Don’t wanna be here, don’t wanna leave you.” _

_ “It’s gonna be okay babe.” Billy’s voice strains, he knows how hard this is; it’s so hard on him too. But he needs to comfort Stevie now.  _

_ “How? How can you say it’s going to be okay! Don’t wanna…”  _

_ “Hey, hey, Stevie don’t cry.” Billy turns Steve around and holds his chin, thumbs wiping his tears away.  _

_ “I don’t want to say goodbye, don’t understand why you’re making me!” _

_ “Come on baby, don’t, we talked about this already. You’re gonna have so many new opportunities here. It's a whole new world for you and I don’t wanna hold you back. You gotta shine bambi. You’re only nineteen, too young ta have a ball and chain like me ‘round ya neck.”  _

_ “I don’t fuckin’ care about that! I want you, only want you Billy.” _

_ “I know you’re sayin’ that now, but you’re gonna be walkin’ ‘round this place, and you're  _ _ gonna have so many new experiences and meet new people. People so much better for you then I am.” _

_ “Stop. Stop saying that. You’re better than anyone, everyone! The best person, only person for me.”  _

_ “God, Stevie, baby, please… I need you to try, for me. This is gonna be the hardest thing I'm ever gonna do too. But I’m more afraid of you regretting me then of letting you go. You understand?”  _

_ “No! Fuck you! Billy, you don’t get to make this kind of decision for me!” Steve buries fists into the Billy’s chest, _

_ “I know, I know Stevie. It’s good if you’re angry, hate me even.” _

_ “No…” Steve sobbs, fists turning into open hands that drag Billy in by his neck.  _

_ “Never, could never hate you.” _

_ “Come on pretty boy, just lay down with me for a while, let me hold you.”  _

_ “Okay.”  _

_ Steve let Billy pull him down onto the twin mattress that was going to be his for the next four years of his life. And Billy’s warm hands slid up Steve’s shirt and his chest pressed up against Steve’s back. And they held each other, legs intertwined, hands locked around one another. Billy’s steady breaths and warm touches and hushed nothings lulled Steve to sleep.  _

_ The brunette was so exhausted from the past month, a month of packing and fighting, not just with Billy but with his father. His father basically bribed the board to let Steve into their school, paid for his exam marks, paid for his full ride. All without Steve knowing. Threw so much money into this place that Steve felt guilty for not going. But more than that, Billy for months now kept insisting for Steve to come,  “Just try it out baby. Do it for me if not for yourself.” _

_ All Steve wanted was to stay with Billy, in Billy’s little one room flat. Where they lived together, tangled up together like they were now. With no worries or expectations of ever parting, until Steve’s father had to get involved. Saw that his son was going nowhere fast with someone like Billy Hargrove. _

_ Billy’s been carrying all these secrets, has known every move Mr. Harrington would make. Like the man drew up blueprints for Billy to follow along. Threatened him, to expose him and Steve if he didn’t let Steve go. Told him that he’s going to ruin Steve’s life, that Steve has such potential; as if Billy didn’t already know that! Like he didn’t see Steve for the amazing creature he was.  _

_ He knows Steve, better than his good for nothing father does. Worships the fuckin’ ground Steve walks on! So Billy took the man’s advice, Billy’s letting him go. And maybe he’ll die because of it, because without Steve, without the one person...only person that has ever given Billy the light of day. Has given Billy more than just hungry eyes or a patronizing smile or a slap to the face.  _

_ Steve gives Billy hope, and a will to keep fighting, to keep reaching for the future. He gives him love, love Billy knows he doesn’t deserve; so now it’s Billy’s turn to give Steve something in return. Give him a chance to live his life to the fullest, find someone he can grow with, have a family with...a real life with. Cause Billy’s never seen himself living past twenty-five, let alone a whole future. He thought he saw it with Steve, but he was a fool for thinking that he could give Steve the world he deserved.  _

_ So Billy slowly withdrew his arm from Steve, with his soft sleeping face, his angel lips and flushed cheeks that still glistened with tears. And he gingerly crept off the bed, so gently not to wake him. Yeah, he knows he’s a fuckin’ coward for leaving like this.  _

_ It’s going to be the biggest regret of his life; however long he has left. But fuck it. Because he’s the bad guy, and was always going to be the bad guy. So just let him have this one fuckin’ moment of weakness! He made it to his feet, eyes welling with tears; biting his lip to keep from sobbing.  _

_ He looks down to his almost future, his everything; his whole fuckin’ world that fit so nicely on a twin bed. That belongs in this place, not in Billy’s arms. Memorizes every eyelash, every mole like he hasn’t already ingrained it in his mind. Like he couldn’t already map the brunette out blindfolded, upside down. He leans in, hovers over him, and feels his breath brush his lips. Kisses his forehead, whispers: _

_ “I love you Steve Harrington. Only you.  Forever ” in his ear; and then the blonde slips from that room. Slips away from Steve’s life like a thief in the night. Stole his heart and left with it, but it was truly the opposite. Billy gave his heart away to Steve two year ago; he left it with him for safekeeping.  _

_ Billy gently shut the door to that part of his life, shut the door like building walls around himself. _

_ “Hi!”  _

_ The voice caught Billy’s attention, some guy was standing in front of him. _

_ "Are you staying in this room too?” He asked. _

_ “No, are you?” Billy countered. _

_ “Yeah I am actually, so who are you?”  _

_ “It doesn’t matter, look, your new roommate is sleeping right now so  please  keep it down. Or better yet, just give him a few hours before goin’ in, please.”  _

_ Billy pleaded more than suggested.  _

_ “Uh, you his friend or something?” _

_ “Or something...Actually, hey, what’s yur name?”  _

_ “I’m James.” _

_ “James, okay, can I talk to you for a minute?” _

_ “O-kay?” James hesitated,  _

_ “Come over here.”  _

_ Billy took a few paces down the hallway. The other male followed him, thankfully. Billy knows it looks sketchy as fuck, but maybe this guy is as naive as his...as Steve is.  _

_ “What do you want to talk about?” James asked, _

_ “Your new roommate, his name is Steve. He’s going through a real bad break up right now. He’s a total wreck if I’m being honest. He’s gonna be completely lost, helpless even, for the next week. Maybe longer.”  _

_ “Okay, but why are-”  _

_ “Please, just listen man.” Billy’s voice broke a bit,  _

_ “I need you, need you to keep an eye on him for me. Make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid. I know you don’t know him yet, but I’m tellin’ you right now, he’s fuckin’ amazing, okay? Be his friend, you won’t regret it. Take him out to all the parties, even if he doesn’t want to go. Make him experience this whole college thing, tell him the pain is gonna stop hurting eventually.”  _

_ “Dude, I...uh, this is kind of weird. I mean, is he like, gonna kill himself or something? Should I get a nurse?”  _

_ “No, no, not like that. He’s just gonna need a friend. I need to know that he’s going to have a friend. Can you promise me that man? Fuck, I’ll even pay you, I don’t fuckin care! I-” _

_ “Hey, yo, dude, it’s good. I get it. It’s chill, i’m new here too, I could use a friend ya know.” _

_ “Yeah. Yeah that’s good. Help each other out. Just, yeah, please make sure he doesn’t stay down for too long. His ex isn’t worth it. Wasn’t good for him at all.”  _

_ “Does he love her though? I mean if he’s that messed up over it?”  _

_ Billy give a small smirk and looks at the floor for a moment. _

_ “So much, he loves her as much as she loves him...and she’s fuckin’ crazy ‘bout him. They just aren’t good for each other, ya know?” _

_ “Yeah man, I get it. It’s cool he has a friend like you though. You care about him.” _

_ “Just can’t be there for him anymore. Think you can pick up the pieces for me?” _

_ “Can try dude.” _

_ “Good, you’re a good guy James. Thank you.” _

_ “You too, hey what’s yur name?”  _

_ “Don’t matter, you won’t be seein’ me again. Really glad I met ya though. Got to meet his new best friend…”  _

_ Billy took the male’s face in, scanned him for a second. Memorized it. _

_ “Alright,” he blinked out of his daze.  _

_ “Gotta head out before he wakes up.”  _

_ Billy parted with a sad smirk, started to head down the stairs, _

_ “Hey, he’s...Steve, he’s gonna be okay. I promise man.”  _

_ Billy turned to look back up at James and gave him a smile.  _

_ “Yeah, I know he'll be now.”  _

_ James returned the smile and then they both parted ways.  _

_ Billy collapsed onto the wall as soon as he reached the end of the stairwell.  _

_ “Fuck…” He growled through tears. _

_ “Not yet, gotta get outta here.” _

_ He made it to his Camaro before his face fell heavily into his hands. Tears rolled, rained down his face, never has he cried like this before. Doesn’t think he even cried like this when his mom left him. Like how he’s leaving Steve now. Cause that’s what Hargrove’s do, they hurt others and leave.  _

_ Billy was no better than his name sake allowed him to be. God, the fuckin’ tears just won’t stop falling. He has to go, has to leave even if his vision is blurred, even if he crashes on his way back. None of it matters, he just has to get out of here before Steve wakes up. Cause if he does, if Steve wakes up and Billy has to see his only shot at happiness again...he won’t be able to leave him twice.  _

_ And so he needs to leave. Needs Steve to live! Deserves the whole fuckin’ universe and Billy can’t even promise him a happy life because Billy is a Hargrove. He has so much baggage with him; too much. Has the scars to prove it. So his Camaro ate up the gravel as he broke every traffic law getting outta dodge. Making it back onto the highway, back to his apartment, ‘cause it was only home  when Steve was there. ‘Cause Steve is his only home. And then he’s packing up that shitty apartment, saying goodbye to Max and Robin and all the little shits that made him happy because they all make Steve happy.  _

_ Then then Billy is headin’ out, wherever the highway takes him. ‘Cause he knows Steve, knows that he’s going to get on the first bus and go back to their apartment, try to find Billy, try to fix it. But nothing’s broken, nothing to fix. And he’ll be gone before Steve can catch a bus back. And Steve will be reading that note, the note that Billy folded under his pillow and put it there as he whispered  I love you . _

_ And over the months that followed, Billy was a vagabond. He drove east, up to New York. Thought he could make it there but the city life was just too much. There was nothing but concrete and skyscrapers. Not even a real beach to truly relax on. He stayed there for two month. In November he moved inland to Pennsylvania. Hated it there, spent the winter then quit it. Mane was his next destination in the spring. And Mane was nice, quiet. Spent time drowning himself in work and booze and planning the rest of his life out. Or at least the next seven years. Decided he'd probably off himself and join the twenty seven club.  _

_ He lived there until it turned cold again, then moved on down. Couldn’t stand it, Mane’s winters are brutal. Might as well be in Alaska. He made his way south to Florida. Loved it there, reminded him of California. But hotter, humid. Hurricanes... He ended up in Georgia after the hurricane blew his trailer away. It was the winter of ‘89 when he finally settled into Atlanta.  _

_ *** _

The sun was already coming up by the time Billy finished his walk down memory lane. Steve was sitting cross legged on the bed, looking down at his hands. Thinking, processing; sometime during the story he crawled in front of Billy instead. It’s quiet though, too quiet for Billy’s nerves. 

“Baby? Can you say something, anything?” 

“...I uh… You knew?” Steve picked his head up, finally looking at Billy. Acknowledging him. Billy’s heart stopped.

“You knew the whole time what he was doing, planning?” 

“No, well, kind of. We both knew he wanted you to go to college, I only found out about the bribes in July. After the fair and before we took the kids to the beach...I knew then.”

“And what, you didn’t think you should tell me?”

“Steve, I agreed with him. I mean he was a complete ass the way he went about it, but you know I wanted you to go to school. I just told you all my reasons why.”

“Because you seriously think you’re not good enough? Because you think I need to be pampered and spoiled with money that you don’t think you’ll ever be able to make? News flash Billy! I’m not like that! You know I’m not like that! I’m not materialistic, I’d rather be living in a saltbox with ramen for dinner every night with _ you _ than any other scenario you or my father planned up for me.” 

“I know Stevie, me too...me too, it’s just I want you to have everything, anything you could want. I want you to be able to have it. You want to travel the world? Or have fancy cars, or even a family. We both know I’d never be able to make those things happen for you baby. It’s not in my cards.”

“Oh my god, you’re such an idiot! Billy! I only want those things if I’m sharing them with you! I only want to travel if you’re coming with me, I only want fancy cars if you’re driving them. You are the only person I’d ever want to have a family with...I don’t want anything if you’re not part of the outcome.”

“I get it. I’m so sorry kitten, for everything I did and didn’t do.” It was Billy’s turn to drop his head, shamefully. Alleviated from the weight of carrying everything, all of the betrayal and lies. Finally to have it all out in the open. Still hurts though, the shame and regret. 

“...I didn’t know that part, you never told me.” Steve started,

“What part?” Billy asked. 

“That you didn’t want to live past twenty-five.” 

“Not without you I didn’t. But I mean that was when I was a kid, still living at home. I didn’t think I’d make it to twenty. After I met you Stevie I saw my future, you helped me start building it. We got our own place and I saw that I could live on my own. I mean yeah, after I left you I started losing that will power...but I kept living. Cause I knew at some point, if I stayed alive long enough I’d find you again.”

“Jesus,” Steve huffed out a quick laugh before leaning forward, crawling back on top of Billy.

“When the hell did you turn into such a romantic tiger?” He asked, nuzzling his cheek into Billy’s chest. 

“I’m not trying to be romantic, it’s just the truth baby.” Billy chuckled cradling Steve, laying back down. Steve’s weight on Billy’s chest, Steve hearing Billy’s heartbeat, it grounded them. Back to that place when they still knew each other, back to their warm nights and long mornings in their Indiana apartment. 

“The story you told me that night, about the sun and moon. You made it up didn’t you? Just for me?”

“Hm, maybe.”

“ _ 'But until they meet again, the sun knows they share the same sky. _ ' You always knew we were gonna meet again.”

“Stevie, I would have moved heaven and hell to find you again.” 

“Ha, it’s funny the only thing that had to move was me.” Steve giggled in the crook of Billy’s neck, the warm vibration sent a cold chill through Billy.

“Mmm baby, ready for round five yet?” He purred into Steve’s ear,

“Oh my god, you’re sooo romantic.” Steve scoffed giggling.

_

“So wait, you haven’t seen Dustin in how long?” Billy asked flabbergasted sitting across from Steve on top of his bed. Drinking their coffee, Steve shut his phone off. They started talking about everyone somehow. Neither really know how they got onto it but it's something the both of them share. Knowing the same people, having such a crazy past with them. They're family, and it's something innate in them to just talk about them. 

“Almost two years...I know!” 

“Steve, he was attached to your damn hip. I’m surprised you didn’t adopt the little shit.”

“Stop! Oh my god, he'd give me premature gray hair!” Steve laughed, “he’s in school getting his doctorate out in Maryland, I've been working since I got out of college. When would I've been able to see him? I’m going to go to his graduation though. And I still talk to him, almost as much as Robin and I do."

"What about the other rugrats? I mean Max fills me in once in a while but the last thing I really heard about them was about Wheeler’s wedding.”

“Yeah, it was a really nice ceremony. That was the last time I actually saw everyone together myself. I saw Robin at the beginning of the this year and Sinclair when they had the baby last year. You know, I’m still surprised him and Max didn't end up together. What is Max doing nowadays? 

“Yeah, I always knew she was too much for the guy. Now she's off fucking around in Portland. Saving whales or some shit like that.” Billy said it as if he was brushing it off but Steve caught the proud little smile on his face. How his eyes light up when he talks about her. Steve fell in love a little bit more watching him. 

“That's so badass. Of course she is.”

“Yeah, well you know her. Thinks she needs to save the world. Well if someone can, it'll be her." 

“So you still keep up with her?” Steve asked.

“Yeah we try to talk once a month or so.” 

“That's good. Really good.” Steve smiled drinking his decaf. 

“Hey so talking about blasts from the past babe, do you still talk to James at all?” Billy broke the comfortable air. Curiosity getting the better of him.

“James? No, haven’t thought about him in years. Uh, I mean he was really nice, pushed me to go out with him to parties. Got me out of my room for classes.”

“Sounds like he was a good friend then after all.”

“Yeah, everything was good until this one time during our second semester. I got real smashed and we were in our room, talking about some shit and I let it slip out that the last person I slept with was a guy.”

“Who?” 

“Oh my god, you! You jerk,” Steve shoved at Billy’s chest, nearly knocking over their drinks in the process. 

“I already told you, you’re the only guy I’ve ever actually slept with.” 

“Well damn, sorry I’m the jealous type.”

“Yeah, yeah. Anyways he switched dorms after he found out I was into guys. Never heard from him after that.” 

“Seriously? Fuckin’ asshole man, and to think I shook his hand.” 

"Yeah, but it's whatever. Like I said I completely forgot about him." 

"Good. Forget about everyone baby. Just think about me, and I'll just think about you." Billy smirked so charmingly up at Steve. He took their cups and brought them into the kitchen. Steve stretched out on Billy's bed, breathed his lingering scent in. Closed his eyes in pure bliss. Like a cat basking in the sunlight. Not a care in the world.

“You know I stripped the apartment when I went back to Hawkins." 

Steve started to speak. Just talking his thoughts out loud. Wasn't even sure if Billy had entered the bedroom again. 

"I took the bus the next day back. Just to see if you left any indication that you were coming back. I know you said it in that note you left for me in my dorm; said that you weren’t coming back. Don’t look for you, but I did. The first few months I was going home almost every weekend. Just to make sure you didn't leave a note somewhere, or send me something in the mail or called and I missed the message…" 

Billy waited in the doorway, a little stunned from the quiet confession. But he eventually made his way back to the bed. Steve felt the bed shift and sink under Billy's weight. Billy started to rub gentle circles onto Steve's ankles. Just tender touches of comfort. 

"But after a while I was just going back to see the kids and Robin. Everyone, ya’know.

“Yeah.” Billy kept his head low, listening, not wanting to interject too much. Even though they talked about it; Steve forgave him...It all still feels too new, too raw. 

“Sometimes Robin would come up to see me, sometimes Dustin would join her. I remember one time when I went back home, Max told me you finally called her. It had been over a month at that point since anyone had seen you... But you finally called and said you were okay. She said you told her not to ask you where you were. So there was no chance for me to come find you. You told her not to even tell me you called her, you're such an asshole for that by the way. But she told me anyway, obviously.”

“Jesus that little shitbird never told me any of that. I know I’m an asshole Steve, I’m sorry for who I was back then.”

“Jerk, don’t apologize. I loved that Billy as much as I love this one.” Steve shifted, rolled onto his side and made those adorable grabby hands he makes when he’s needy. He’s still so much like he was back then, still Billy’s baby. Billy leaned down, wrapped himself around Steve so he could tuck himself into Billy’s chest. 

“Sometimes if I was around when you said you'd call her next, she'd sneak me inside the house so I could hear your voice again. But then the kids had this genius idea to use the walkies. So when you'd call, Max would put her walkie up to the receiver and I had mine with me at school and I'd get to hear you guys talk. Get to hear you talk about your life, pretend you were in my dorm with me for a little while.” 

“Bambi.” Billy nuzzled his chin into Steve’s hair, held him tighter. 

“But then school started getting harder and Max was almost done with high school. You started calling less and less. And more than any of that… I met Beth and everything sorta changed after that.” 

_ *** _

_ Beth is standing outside the student center with a group of other girls. Probably classmates, friends, who knows. Her hair hangs down around her shoulders, bright blonde and curly. She’s wearing a white blouse and blue jeans. Maybe it’s because Steve is sleep deprived, hyped up on caffeine that he’s not supposed to drink. Depressed and longing, and lonely. So fucking lonly. Maybe that’s why his brain for a minute convinces itself that she’s Billy. That Billy came back for him. That he’s standing right there, asking for directions to the dorms so he can apologize and give Steve one of those famous Billy hugs again. Steve wasted no time as he ran over to the girl. Called out to her, _

_ "Billy!" Tapping her on the shoulder when he reached her.  _

_ "Oh. Sorry." Steve blinks in a rushed apology, as the girl turns around. Evidently revealing that she is in fact not Billy. _

_ "No, It's okay. Can I help you with something?" she asks Steve. _

_ "Uh, no, I just thought you were someone else from behind. Sorry again." Steve turns to leave, _

_ "My name is Beth! By the way. Not Billie." She calls out to Steve, making him stop in his tracks. He turns back around with a soft smile, _

_ "I'm Steve. I uh, I really like your hair, Beth." _

_ "I like yours too Steve!"  _

***

“So you met Beth because you thought she was me?” Billy asked, trying to keep the egotism out of his voice. 

“Yeah, basically.” Steve sighed out against Billy’s chest.

“So what are we gonna do now baby?” Billy said it almost rhetorically after a little while of quietness. Just them relaxing into each other. But Billy has work soon, Steve is probably already late if he even bothers to go in today.

“Hm, gonna stay like this.” Steve replied all sleepily. Billy loves him so much. Wants to just stay like this forever, but they can’t, not yet.

“Baby, I gotta get to work soon and I’d love to come home to find you in my bed but Kyle is gonna be coming back at some point today-”

“-and I have to go talk to Beth.” Steve finished Billy’s sentence.

“Yeah, that too.” 

Steve groaned and buried himself deeper into Billy’s space. Trying to hide himself away in the safest place he knows.

“Can we uh, do you have enough time to, before I have to go…”

“To what baby?” 

“You know...don’t wanna say it.”

“C’mon bambi, use your words.” Billy was all sharp teeth and smiles, Steve just moaned annoyed into the sheets under him.

“I want another round before I have to go.”

“See, that wasn’t so hard was it?” 

“Shut up.” Steve’s face turned pink but he let Billy push him onto his back. Let him kiss him from head to toe, let him take his breath away again and again.


	4. -PART FOUR-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m gonna spend every morning of the rest of my life like this Bambi.”   
> Billy rasped out, voice still sleep heavy as a strong arm pulled Steve in closer. Steve shifted and turned around so he could face him. See those blue eyes, the ones he can practically smell the ocean when he looks at them. He sprinkled powder soft kisses on those red lips, the ones he spent the past ten years dreaming about. Every inch of Billy is something special and has its own story in Steve’s mind.  
> “Even when I’m grey and balding?”   
> Steve quipped, his hands making home running up and down Billy’s ribs. His body is always like a radiator, heating up Steve; in more than one way.  
> “Especially then. Gonna hold you in these arms even when we’re ghost Stevie.” 

“Beth?” Steve called out into his big, seemingly empty house. He didn’t notice her car parked out front when he pulled in, but it could be in the garage. 

“Beth, i’m back. Sorry I didn’t call before. My uh, my phone died.” There was no response. The house was silent. It’s too late in the morning for her to be asleep, yet Steve still went upstairs to check. He found her asleep with a half glass of wine and an empty bottle on their nightstand. That would explain why she’s still sleeping at least. 

“Shit” Steve hissed under his breath. She must have been up all night like this, drinking, worrying, upset. He’s such an asshole. She was home having a breakdown while Steve was out having the best sex of his life. He shouldn't bother her, doesn't even know what to tell her even if he did wake her up. 

So Steve took a shower, changed his clothes and called into the office that he isn't going to make it in today. One drop of Beth's name and it's like a hall pass in the office. Perks of being the boss's son in law Steve guessed. Not that it's going to be long lived. Beth was still sleeping and Steve became nothing but a bundle of nerves vibrating on anticipation. What is he going to tell her? How does one go about breaking up? He's never broken off a relationship before. Someone's always done it for him. And despite how great his ex's are, Steve isn't planning on calling Beth " _ bullshit _ " or leaving her high and dry with a goodbye note under her pillow any time soon.

“Steve?” Beth called as she made her way down the stairs. 

“In the kitchen babe.” Steve returned, handed her a cup of coffee he made as she sat down at the table.

“When did you get back?” She asked him in her sleepy voice.

“Earlier this morning.” Steve responded just as quietly. Stood against the counter parallel to her.

“Did you have fun?” She questioned into her mug. 

“Yeah. Yeah it was a good night.” Steve tried not to smile, tried not to let the blush creep onto his face as he thought about yesterday’s events.

“I’m glad to hear it. Is Bill doing well?” 

If the situation wasn’t already weary and awkward it just reached that pivotal moment now with Beth asking about Billy, calling him Bill. 

“He’s good. Him and Kyle have been on the outs recently so it was good to catch up and be there for him.” 

“I’m sure he appreciated it, having a friend there to comfort him.” That’s definitely one way to put what they were doing, not the way Steve would phrase it but it’s not wrong. But it just sounds like another jab, one that Steve deserves but an insult nonetheless.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I’m sorry for the way I acted and the way I ran out. I should have just told you that I was upset about being taken off guard. I felt cornered and I hate feeling like that. I know we need to talk about it, especially now... I’m just afraid of you hating me.” Steve let it fall out of his mouth like word vomit. Might as well rip the bandaid off.

“Steve, I- why would I hate you? I get it, you don’t want to get married. I feel like such a monster for forcing you into something you obviously never wanted.”

“Hey, no, Beth. I know monsters, believe me. You are the farthest thing from a monster.” Steve knelt in front of her, a comforting hand on her knee. 

“I’m sorry, I should have just said something sooner. I don’t think I’m ready for marriage. It’s not you Beth, okay? It’s just...you know, I don’t want to end up like my parents.”

“Yeah, I understand. It’s okay Steve. I had all night to think about it and it’s okay. We don’t have to get married right? I mean we’ve been together for five years now. Lived together for three, we don’t need rings.” She gave him a soft smile. Trying to convince herself more than Steve it seemed.

“Yeah. Yeah exactly.” Steve returned the smile before standing back up.  “So we’re okay now?” He asked.

“I think so, for now. I feel like we're okay. Do you think we are?” 

“Um, I think-” Steve nodded “for now. Yeah.” 

_

“Hey there tiger, did I call you at a bad time?” Steve asked brows furrowed as he held his phone between his ear and shoulder trying to unlock his car. 

“Nah, just trying to train this new guy. The damn kid doesn’t know the difference between a spark plug and a piston. And to top it off he keeps leaving his butts everywhere. Swear he’s gonna blow the damn shop up one of these days.” Billy fumed on the other end, blowing smoke out from his own cigarette.

“Sounds like you got your hands full then.” Steve laughed.

“Yeah, just not with what I was hoping they’d be filled with.” 

“Mm that’s a pretty smooth line, who’d you practice that one on?” 

“You know you’re my only guinea pig baby.” Billy smirked, making Steve laugh harder into the receiver.

“Oh my god you’re something else Hargrove.”

“I’ve been called worse.” Billy chuckled, “so how’s the Misses doing lately, she still taking that talk you had well?”

“Billy it’s been like a month you can stop asking about it. The wedding is off, she gets it.”

“But you’re still together?”

“Yeah well you’re still with Kyle, so there!” Steve huffed like a child, finally sitting down in his car, slamming the door shut. 

Billy huffed out a laugh “yeah, I know.”

“How is it going by the way, with him?” 

Steve asked timidly, still just sitting in his car. It’s hot though, the July sun sweltering and turning his car into an oven. Billy must be dying having to work in a garage. Probably has his coveralls half off and dripping in sweat and grease. Steve bit his lip at the image his mind supplied him with. They’ve only seen each other one other time after that day back in June. When they finally were able to make love again and again and again, after so long. 

“I don’t know, he’s still going back and forth to Leo’s when we get into it. Even if it’s just over stupid shit. I honestly don’t know if he’s doin’ it on purpose to make me jealous or if he actually has feelings for the guy again.”

“Is it making you jealous though?”

“Fuck no. Why would it, I got you don’t I baby?”

“Yeah tiger, you got me… Um, can I ask you something?” Steve choked back a school girl giggle.

“Shoot.”

“What are you wearing?” Steve asked and there was a beat of silence before Billy barked out a laugh.

“Jesus baby, that’s really what’s on your mind right now? You ain’t even home yet. What, planning on giving the white collars a show in that Bimmer of yours?” 

“I mean I'd rather be giving you the show but beggars can’t be choosers.” Steve smirked into his phone; Billy growled.

“Yeah Stevie? You’re begging for it now?”

“On my knees and everything killer.”

“Fuck. Christ bambi I’m workin’ here, ya can’t go throwing that kind of shit in my head. Now i’mma be thinking about you the rest of the day.” 

“Like you weren’t already.” Steve chuckled.

“Damn straight, you know me so well kitten. So you think I can see you this weekend?” 

“Sorry tiger, not this weekend. Beth’s father has this huge party every year on the first weekend in July.”

“Sounds real snazzy Stevie. Dress code and everything?” 

“Red and white.” Steve sighed,

“'Course it is. Hey you need a plus one? Promise to be on my worst behavior.” Billy wiggled his tongue. Steve could see him doing it in his head, has seen that exact expression of his a thousand times before.

“Right, cause I can totally see Beth introducing us as ‘This is my boyfriend Steve and this is Billy, Steve’s boyfriend.’”

“I mean it does have a nice ring to it.” Billy teased.

“Mm you know what has a better ring to it?”

“What?” 

“I’ll swing by first thing next week and bring you some lunch.”

“Oh yeah? What’s on the menu?”

“Uh, me. Duh!” They both laughed and Steve finally started up his car.

“Sounds delicious.” Billy purred.

“Okay, good. Now go prevent some garage fires Smokey.”

“You think you’re cute don’t you?” 

“Nope, I know I’m cute.”

“God, I fuckin love you pretty boy.”

“Love you too Billy. I’ll see you next week, okay?”

“Yeah, talk to you soon Stevie.”

_

Steve was on his way to the shop when he saw black smoke climbing over the building and plumed into the sky. It wasn’t until he made the next corner that he saw it was coming from the garage. That Billy’s shop was engulfed in flames and smoke. And Steve distinctly remembers telling him to not let the place catch on fire last week. Jesus, maybe Steve’s the psychic after all not Robin.

Steve's heart dropped; his whole body was overtaken by a cold flash of panic; his hands started shaking. His stomach sank and it was on pure adrenaline he was even able to move his feet. To clamber out of his car. To run across the street, run to see if Billy’s okay. But when he ran over he only found Kyle standing outside. Standing in front of the smoking, melting, burning garage. 

A sudden flashback consumes Steve’s vision. He sees the tunnels, see’s the upside down on fire. Can smell the burning gasoline from the blow torch. Can smell the fireworks burning away at rotting flesh.

“Billy.” It’s like a whisper when Steve says it.

“Billy?...Where’s Billy?” It was louder that time; Kyle looked at him with wide eyes, red and swollen from crying.

“He ran inside! Said Johnny was still in there!” The only response Kyle gave Steve, who was still engrossed with looking at the flames. 

“AND YOU LET HIM?” Steve snapped, whipping his head to look at Kyle. His own voice shook him out of whatever fear he had. The volume of it shocked Kyle too, the way he flinched.

“He wouldn’t listen to me!” Kyle defended; Steve was already shucking off his blazer. 

“Call 911!” Steve yelled, balling up his blazer and holding it to his mouth-

“I did! Steve what- oh my god!” Kyle shouted “Steve wait!” 

But Steve was already running into the building. Climbed through the door where the glass had been shattered. Smoke blurred his vision and the immediate wave of heat made him nauseous. “Billy!” Steve called, Billy is somewhere inside this hellhole, and Steve’s already been through hell and back. And he saved Billy the first time, there is no universe where he will ever give up on him.

“Billy!” Steve cries, yowls it as his mind starts racing. He can’t hear anything over the roar of the flames. Can’t see anything through the heat waves and black air. Billy needs to be okay, Steve can’t begin to think about if he’s not…

_

Billy has his bandana tied around his face. He’s hidden away in the office, trying to get John up off the floor. Johnny is unconscious; Billy found him face down after he made sure everyone else got out safely. The flames haven’t reached this far back yet, but the smoke did. It’s becoming overwhelming. Sickly, like black tar filling Billy’s lungs… He can’t think about that right now. This isn’t the upside down, that's long over with. It’s over. 

“Billy!” He hears someone call for him. Perhaps it’s the fire crew finally? It’s about fuckin' time the got their asses here.

“Billy!” He hears it again, and he knows that voice. Even though it’s distant and distorted, he’d know that voice from anywhere! Fuck! The smoke must’ve gone to Billy’s head, he’s hallucinating. Steve can’t be here...but what if... 

“Steve! Stevie! I’m back here! In the office!” Billy shouted, voice raw from coughing. 

And it’s a minute, a long tantalizing minute thinking that Steve will once again pull him from the fire, from the darkness. There’s no way. But then, as if on cue in some Hollywood film the office door opens with a bang. Even more smoke poured into the small room and Steve is standing there. 

“Steve!” Billy barks, Steve’s panting trying to catch his breath. He can’t even speak, the urge to cry overwhelms him. The sudden relief of seeing Billy still standing,

“Billy!” Steve dropped his blazer and lunged at him, hugging him. Has to- has to feel him and make sure he’s real. 

“Fuck I thought I lost you there for a minute.” And this hug feels even more desperate than their first one, all those months ago. 

“Stevie what the hell are you doing here!”

“Saving your ass, asshole! Come on!” Steve tugs on Billy’s arm but Billy is all bulk standing firm, feet planted. 

“I can’t! Johnny!” Billy motions to the man still passes out on the floor.  “I can’t drag him out myself. I’ve been trying.” 

Steve doesn’t need an explanation; he grabs one of Johnny’s arms before Billy is even done talking. It feels like a rescue mission that they’ve been on one too many times before. Steve assumes his position as dutiful leader. Stepping in for Hop when he can’t be here himself. Reliving his nightmares, except this time it’s not monsters and the upside down. This time it’s just the mundancess of a kerosene fire. Nothing compared to the hell of Hawkin’s underground.

“We have to take the back door, the front is completely gone.” 

Steve ordered as Billy lifted the older man’s other arm. Together they split Johnny’s weight, making it easier to carry him. Maneuvering through the smoke and heat, coughing so hard Steve almost dropped Johnny for a second; they made it to the breakroom. The only other room with an exit. Billy kicked the door open. Smoke plumed out of the door; they only made it a few feet out before they collapsed. They all fell to the ground with weak legs and burning lungs. At least there’s grass to cushion their fall. Johnny fell on his stomach, still unconscious. Billy somehow managed to land on his back, sucking in fresh air. Steve fell on his knees, holding himself up with soot covered palms. Couching, choking and sputtering. Taking deep breaths before crawling up to Billy, only a few inches above where he fell.

“Billy? Billy are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m okay kitten.” Billy rasps out, wanting to cough more but holds it back. Steve collapses on top of him; so thankful, so euphoric with relief. 

“You’re so stupid,” Steve scolded, starting to pepper kisses on Billy’s face; “you could have died!” Tears started prickling his eyes as he began to cry, kissing Billy properly. He tasted like smoke, but that isn’t actually anything new. 

“Billy! I thought you died!” Steve sobbed when he parted their mouths again. Billy wrapped his arms tight around Steve, kissed him back with equal force, intensity. Rolled them over until Steve’s back was against the ground.

“I couldn’t die without seeing you again baby. I love you.” Billy professed in between their kisses. 

“I swear to god! If you ever do something that stupid again Hargrove!”

“I know baby, but you saved me. Fuck, Stevie you  _ saved me _ .” They rolled around on the ground, so stupid and so in love. 

“I love you so much tiger! Don’t- don’t ever leave me again!” They somehow ended up chest to chest, sideways, legs and arms entangled.

“I won’t baby, not even death can make me leave you.” Billy said just above a whisper, thumbing over Steve's tear streaked cheek. It looked like he was wearing mascara as his tears mixed with the soot on his face.

“Fuck, I was so scared Billy.”

“Not me Stevie, ain’t even scared of the devil with an angel like you on my side.”

“Bill are you okay?” Kyle ran up to them, heard the shouting from the front. They both turned to him with sudden shock. But they didn’t let go of each other, if anything Steve clung tighter to Billy.

“I’m fine Kyle, are the paramedics here yet?”

“Uh yeah-yeah they just got here.”

“Good. Go tell them Johnny’s back here, he’s unconscious.”

“Yeah of course.” Kyle stared at them, what else could he do really? He quickly turned heel though to fetch a medic.

_

After John was taken to the hospital in one of the ambulances, and a medic had Billy sitting down with an oxygen tank, Kyle decided to make his way over him. Kyle glanced over quickly to see Steve sitting with a different medic getting his face patched up. Looks like he must have scratched it on the glass when he barreled inside the building.

“Kyle, you okay? You didn’t get hurt or nothin’ did ya?” Billy asked him once he was standing in front of him. Billy took off his mask despite the medic’s outrage. Billy’s never been the compliant sort anyways. 

“Bill, I’m moving out.” Kyle stated.  “It’s over, we’re over. I’m going to stay at Leo’s.” 

Billy furrowed his brows, shoved off the blanket he had wrapped around him. Why he had one on to begin with, he had no idea. For shock or something? He climbed down out of the back of the ambulance. 

“Hey-hey, Kyle, wait a sec. Let’s talk about this.”

“Nothing to talk about Bill. That’s what I came here to tell you before the fire started. I’m really glad you’re alright but I'm going to go start packing. I’ll just see you back at the apartments, okay?” 

“Kyle, hey come on-” Billy cut himself off, stopped in his tracks when he caught Steve in his peripheral. Shit, why is he fighting this? Steve is right there, Kyle is cutting him loose. It’s over with? 

Kyle catches Billy’s eyes wondering over to look at Steve,

“I’ll see you in a bit.” He says before taking his leave. 

“Yeah.” Billy nods to him before trailing off to see how his Stevie is. 

"Stevie?" Billy asks slowly, doesn't want to startle him or the medic applying some butterfly stitches to his cheek. 

"Billy, looks cool right? Probably gonna have a scar." Steve looks up with those big doe eyes. Trying to make light of everything, for now at least. 

"Yeah. A total badass, like always." 

"You both should really be going to the hospital to get thoroughly checked out." The medic working on Steve spoke up. 

"No. No hospitals." Steve and Billy both said in sync. Which induced a smirk on Billy's lips and they both just stared at each other. Yeah, you could cut the sexual tension between the two with a knife. Luckily the nice medic lady only had a pair of scissors on hand. And she uses those to cut the bandages. 

So Steve and Billy will just have to wait until they get back to his place. 

_

Steve followed slowly behind the Camaro. Offered to drive it to the apartment for Billy and he could get the Bimmer later. But of course Billy didn't go for that. Said he was  _ fine _ , that he could drive his own damn car. Said it all with that old Billy vibrato, like he really has to still impress him. So now they're on their way back to Billy’s apartment. It's pretty late now. They had to wait until after the cops showed up so Billy could report what happened. 

Steve called Beth while Billy spoke to the police, he told her everything that happened. That Billy was caught in the fire. That he went in after him. That he's okay but he’s going to stay at Billy’s for the night to make sure Billy is okay. And that Billy and Kyle just broke up. Somehow that little detail took precedence in Steve’s recount of the day.

Billy already made it inside the apartment by the time Steve pulled up, parked right behind the Camaro. Steve could hear the two talking inside, Billy and Kyle. He debated if he even wanted to go in. But he did. He wants to make sure Billy is okay. And that part of him, the side of him that never really grew out of the highschool bullshit wants to see the drama unfold. 

Wants to see if Kyle cries or if Billy will mention him. Tell Kyle he doesn't care if he leaves because he has Steve back… it's petty, but Steve slowly cracks the door open anyways. He checks out the situation before fully entering. Kyle is almost done packing his bags. Has them lined up in the foyer.

“Kyle! Hey, you don’t have to leave tonight, alright?” Billy said pacing between the living room and bedroom. Stalking after Kyle.

“Yes, Bill I do.” Kyle responded, coming back out from his room with another bag. Steve and him caught eyes for a moment. Steve just stood there awkwardly, tried to make himself seem smaller somehow. Didn't really know what to do with himself, so he just kept standing there.

But then Billy came back out from the bedroom, tailing behind Kyle like he’s been. Gave Steve a soft look and motioned his head toward the living room. Steve took the hint and sat down on the couch. Billy and Kyle disappeared from Steve's view as they went to go talk in the kitchen. 

“Kyle-” Steve heard Billy start,

“No, Bill let me talk.” Kyle interjected. “He literally jumped through fire to save you. I can’t compete with that! I was just standing out there like an idiot... I’m done, okay! This was never going to work out for us anyways, you saw to that. And honestly I don’t even want it to work. You two belong with each other. So we’re done. I’m moving out.”

“So what, that’s it? You’re going to move back in with Leo like I never happened?”

“Bill what do you want from me! You want him! You never showed any interest in making what we had anymore than it was. You can’t have it all. So yes, I’m moving back in with Leo like you never happened. He wants to get back together, and honestly I’m thinking about it. At least he wants to be in a relationship with me.”

“Yeah but, he’s- he’s an asshole!” 

Billy sputtered, pulling at straws. Doesn’t even know what he’s trying for. He doesn’t want it all, he wants Steve. But he also hates being the one left behind, he’s the one that always leaves. It hurts too much being left behind… He's going to spend the rest of his life making it up to Steve. 

“Look who’s talking!” Kyle scolded.

That left Billy stupefied; Kyle shouting. Left him standing there in the kitchen as Kyle grabbed his bags and left. Well, not before Steve and him locked eyes for another moment. It was a weird stare off, not hostile like Steve thought it might have been. It was more of a silent  _ “hope you two are happy together. Hope he’s better to you than he was to me.” _ And Steve understands that, mouths a  _ “thank you”  _ to him before he leaves. And then he was gone. Steve was left wondering if he should feel like a homewrecker or not, but he’s too tired from the adrenaline to care in all honesty.

“Billy? Hey tiger. Come sit down, please.” Steve called to wherever Billy was. Billy rounded the corner soon after and sat down beside his pretty boy on the couch with a groan. 

“What a fuckin’ day.” He huffed out, smirked over to Steve when he noticed him making his grabby hands. Billy gave in, let Steve wrap his arms around him. Let him lay his head on his chest. They both reeked of smoke but a shower will just have to wait. Billy brushed gentle fingers through chestnut locks. Steve nuzzled into the touch. Let out a wet sigh, a hitched breath.

“Billy,” Steve started crying for the second time today, only it’s a gentle cry this time. The realization that everything is actually going to be okay finally setting in. It’s a reality that neither of them are use to anymore.

“I was so fuckin scared. I thought I really lost you again. It was like being there, surrounded by- and you, you were in the middle of it again.” Steve choked out. Billy could feel the dampness from Steve’s tears seeping through his shirt.

“Shh, I’m right here baby. I promised you before, I ain’t never leavin’ you again. Not death or the upside down can keep me away from you.” 

Billy rubbed Steve’s back, let him cry. Comforted him the only way he knew how, soft sounds, tender touches and sweet nothings of  _ I love you. _ It takes them a little while but they finally make it into the shower. They held each other under the warm spray of the water. Watched the black soot run off into the drain. Tried not to let each other go back to that place from so many years ago. Where Billy was coughing up black soot for days. Where Steve would watch the tar run down the drain from washing his hands after holding Billy’s hair back from throwing it all up. Would help clean him afterwards in the hospital.

They washed each other now though, in the humid heat of the shower. In the safeness of being here in the present with one another. Steve washed over Billy’s body like he was polishing a golden god. Billy soaped up every inch of Steve until his skin was that familiar peaches and cream shade he loves so much. Nosed under Steve’s jaw trailing kissing down his neck. Softly. No sudden rush to the finish line. No anxiety of getting caught. 

Just slow movements so he can taste Steve's wet, clean skin under his tongue. Feel Steve’s pulse under his lips. Hear him vibrate under his touch. They erase the past, not just the day but every moment they weren’t together for the last seven years. It all gets washed away down the drain during that shower.

“So this is where you’ve been hiding away all these years? Didn't really get to look around last time.” 

Steve smiles as he walks around Billy’s room. Let out a happy hum looking at the only picture on Billy's desk. It's an older picture of him and Max. Must have been from her highschool graduation day. Guess that means he went back...of course he'd go back for that. Steve didn't, wasn't able to make it with his finals. But when he did go back to Hawkins that summer, Billy wasn't there. No one told him he'd come to visit. But that doesn’t matter now, none of it does. Because they’re together now, in the same space at the same time. 

All these books on the shelves, Steve remembers some of them. The same ones with broken spines that occupied their bookcase in their apartment back in Hawkins. It's so nostalgic seeing them like this, on display again. Steve ran his hand over them for a moment before Billy pulled him into a strong hug. His skin, still so warm from the shower. He pulled him down into the bed with him where they cuddled. 

They stay wrapped up and entangled in each other. In the silence of Billy’s room with just their breathing, their heartbeats. No sex, no guilt, just kisses and nuzzles and gentle hands and _ I love yous _ until they both fell soundly asleep in each other’s arms. And when they woke up, it was the first morning they really woke up together since August 21st 1986. 

With the July summer sun white washing the room with a sense of warmth and peace.

“I’m gonna spend every morning of the rest of my life like this Bambi.” 

Billy rasped out, voice still sleep heavy as a strong arm pulled Steve in closer. Steve shifted and turned around so he could face him. See those blue eyes, the ones he can practically smell the ocean when he looks at them. He sprinkled powder soft kisses on those red lips, the ones he spent the past ten years dreaming about. Every inch of Billy is something special and has its own story in Steve’s mind.

“Even when I’m grey and balding?” 

Steve quipped, his hands making home running up and down Billy’s ribs. His body is always like a radiator, heating up Steve; in more than one way.

“Especially then. Gonna hold you in these arms even when we’re ghost Stevie.” 

With a promise like that, what is Steve supposed to say? Words don’t convey the emotions that flood through him. Billy has always been able to do that, make Steve forget how to breathe with his words. Because he's so smart, a genius with words. Steve however, has always been better with actions. So that’s what he relies on, even now.

As he rolled over on top of Billy, straddled him and his warmth surged through Steve like an electrical pulse. Made him tingle and buzz everywhere.

“Careful Hargrove, I might just hold you to it.” Steve smirked looking down at Billy’s dopey morning smile. Billy’s hands took refuge on Steve’s hips, held him so tightly there it should bruise him, but somehow it still felt so comforting. 

“As long as you’re holding me while you do it baby,” Billy smiled, “you can do anything you want with me.”

That’s an invitation if Steve has ever heard one. 

"That mean what I think it does killer?" Steve bit his lip. Billy just nodded, that sharp smirk of his splayed playful on his face. 

"It's been a while though. Gonna have to open me up real good, kitten." 

"Jesus" Steve shivered, much to Billy's amusement. 

"Think ya can handle that Stevie?" 

"Fuck. Yeah, yeah I think I remember how it's done." Steve licked his lips as he leaned over to reach for the lube. Looks like breakfast is gonna have to wait this time. Although neither one of them really mind. They're both more of lunch people anyways. 

-

"Hey you're back. Thank God. How's Bill doing? Was he hurt?" Beth practically jumped Steve as he walked through their front door.

"No, thankfully. Billy's fine. Johnny, the guy who owns the garage was taken to the hospital. I'm going to go with Billy later to check on him." 

"Oh, wow. I hope he's okay. Glad that Bill is fine. How's Kyle? He must have been a wreck."

"Kyle and him broke up, remember? That's kind of why I stayed with Billy last night. Make sure he wasn't too upset after everything that happened." 

Steve had to keep himself from snarking, after all it’s not like she knows. She doesn’t know every little burning detail of his night with Billy that’s literally and figuratively scorched into him. How it was the most intimate night he thinks they’ve ever spent, and they didn’t even have sex...well not last night at least. 

"Oh, right-right. That's so sad. They seemed happy together." 

Beth’s face frowned, she never lacks sympathy. But Steve just wanted to roll his eyes. Happy is definitely not the word he'd use.

"Yeah well, sometimes  _ happy _ isn't enough ya'know?" 

Steve said scoffed absentmindedly.

"Uh, I suppose you're right. Relationships need more than just happiness to work." 

Beth responded. They both slipped back into the awkward air they've been living in for the past month or so now. They dropped the wedding talk for now, but they've also dropped the relationship talk as well. Neither have mentioned the fact that Steve stopped calling her babe. They stopped touching, and most intimate behavior. That Steve has obviously just drifted so far away, which is the real elephant in the room. They're more like roommates now than girlfriend/boyfriend. 

"Um, so when are you going to the hospital?" Beth asked. 

"Soon, gonna take a shower first and will probably meet Billy over there." Steve replied quickly.

"Okay then. Oh, why don't you invite him over for dinner afterwards? Billy, that is. I really only got to meet him that one time and it seems like he could use the company." 

Beth dangled the invitation in front of Steve like a carrot. Another excuse to get to see Billy. Get to show him everything. His house and his degree, the one he hung up in the little office space off of the kitchen. All the secret photos he keeps out in the garage. Show him that he even still has the movie tickets from the  _ Breakfast Club _ premiere Billy took him to. 

But at the same time, having to play house with Billy sitting front row doesn't sound like a good night for either of them. 

"I'll ask him, see if he's up to it." Steve shrugged it off.

"Alright then. Let me know so I can make enough food." Beth just smiled. Steve returned it,

"I'm gonna go take a shower." 

And then he left her. Because any longer than that and his mind starts to wander. Starts becoming intrusive and impulsive and something he wants to say,  _ should say _ , will try and come out. But Steve just isn't ready for that conversation yet. 

He needs to find another job before they have that conversation. Because there's no way he'll be able to keep his job with this place if he goes and breaks the boss's daughter's heart. And he needs to see what Billy is planning on doing now. If he's staying in the apartment. Does he even have a job at this point? There's just too many questions Steve needs answers to before he goes and tips the boat over. 

He washes away the sweat and lingering sex smell that hopefully Beth didn't pick up on. Scrubs away the guilt that started to eat away at his gut as soon as Beth engulfed his vision. He even scrubs hard enough that any lingering feeling of Billy's touch gets replaced with the stinging scrap of his washcloth. Billy will just have to bruise him next time so the feeling will stay. 

_

"Hey, so Beth wanted me to invite you over for dinner tonight." Steve raked his hand through his hair as Billy and him walked up the hospital corridors. 

"Dinner? Seriously? Wouldn't that be weird for you?" 

Billy said in a huff looking back and forth at every sign and door they pass. Hospitals still give him the creeps. After spending months in one you think he would have gotten over it, but in reality his stay only made it worse. 

"Yeah. But I mean this whole thing has been pretty weird already so why not make it weirder, right?" 

Steve added an awkward laugh before he scrunched up his face and decided to stop talking. Maybe this wasn't the best time to drop the bomb on him. Billy is already stressed as is after all. He's probably just making it worse. 

"Do you want me to come?" Billy asked impatiently, but not directly with Steve. 

"Do I want you to? I mean, if you want to…"

"Steve, do  _ you _ want me to?" Billy made a point to look over at Steve as they continued to walk. 

"Uh, yes?" Steve shrugged with his response.

"Real convincing there Stevie."

"No, I mean, obviously I want you to come... it's just-"

"It's just you know this could really go downhill fast?" 

"Yeah. But you'll be there for me if it does, right?" 

"Heh. I'll be there laughing all the way down baby."

_

“He’s conscious and stable but only family is allowed in right now. His wife said they told her he suffered from a minor stroke and they’re keeping him until they make sure there was no extra damage from when he fell.” Billy returned to Steve with the news. Steve was sitting in the waiting room trying to keep his flashbacks at bay. He jumps up as soon as Billy returns to his side, wants to wrap himself around him and keep him safe. But he is, he’s been safe now for over seven years.

“So he’s going to be okay?” Steve asks him.

“I-uh, it seems so. Yeah. Sorry you came all the way down here with me Steve.”

“Are you serious? Come on tiger, you know I’d follow you through hell.”

“Yeah and you have, twice now actually.” 

“If you count your hospital stay I'd say three time, but who’s counting?” Steve laughed as Billy shoved him playfully with his shoulder. They walked side by side back to their cars.

“So I guess I’ll call Beth that you’re coming over?” Steve questioned leaning against the BMW. Billy watched Steve from over the hood of the camaro,

“If you still want me to.” He answered. 

“I do.”

“Damn pretty boy, let me at least get you a ring before you say yes.” Billy taunted him with a grin as confusion and then understanding took hold of Steve’s face. 

“You’re such a jerk.” Steve scoffed, shaking his head. “I’m not kissing you for the rest of the day for that one.”

“Oh, like you could resist.” Billy mocked playfully.

“Watch me blondie.” Steve quirked an eyebrow confidently.

“Hm, big talk. Alright. I’m game, princess. First one to break loses.”

“Okay. What are the stakes?” 

“Winner’s choice.”

“Deal.”


	5. -PART FIVE- FINAL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Consider this me forfeiting.” 
> 
> Billy gruffed before closing the gap between them with a rough, predatory kiss. All teeth and tongue. It was a blessing in disguise that Steve was between a rock and a hard place because he got so dizzy with it he would have fallen over. He moaned, couldn’t help it, it was just so good. His body has been yearning for it for what feels like years. Billy growled with all that territorial passion that used to take Steve’s breath away. Still does apparently since he had to physically push Billy away so he could catch his breath. Billy protested with a sneer; his pupils were blown. Steve panted and watched him through half-lidded eyes; his head resting back against the wall.   
> “You’re mine.” Is all Billy growled out before gripping Steve’s shirt and pulling him back into the kiss. Steve went willingly; he’s been dying for the past six hours for this. Dying to kiss Billy. His Billy.

“Hey Beth, we’re back!” Steve called from the foyer. Billy whistled lowly as he took in the house. 

“Nice place Stevie. It ain’t really your style though.”

“Yeah well Beth’s father bought it, I didn’t really have a say.” 

Steve informed Billy quietly, but his tone said it all. Not that Billy wasn’t already bitterly aware of Steve’s situation. God, this is gonna be a long night. Well, at least he has one distraction he can count on. 

“Steve? You’re back so soon.” Beth came to greet the two men right as Billy’s plotting smirk crawled onto his face. 

“Yeah, they were only letting family in to visit. They say he’s going to be alright though.” Steve explained as he took off his shoes, motioned Billy to do the same.

“Oh, well, dinner isn’t going to be ready for a while still, but Bill it’s so good to see you again. I’m so sorry about what happened. Steve told me everything.”

“He did, did he? Well I guess there goes my dinner conversation.” Billy licked his lips into a sharp smile. Steve knew it, knew that this was a bad idea. All he could do was stare, as if he was watching a car accident. Beth with all her grace laughed, as if it was just a joke...because it was presented as a joke. Because it was a joke, except Billy was being one hundred percent honest. Now Steve has to twiddle his thumbs in anticipation for what Billy is going to deem dinner conversation. God, Steve’s going to go grey before the end of the night. 

“Steve, why don’t you give Bill a tour while I finish cooking?” 

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Sure.”

“I’ll let you both know when it’s ready.” Beth said as she returned to the kitchen, leaving Billy with a hungry eyes and Steve with butterflies. 

“After you pretty boy. Perhaps we should start in the bedroom?” Billy teased. 

“Yeah-no, that’s a no. I’m gonna win this thing, tiger and gonna totally rub it in your face when I do.” Steve gloated, starting to make his way to his office. That seemed like a reasonable place to start, not too much space to show. So they shouldn’t be in there alone for too long. He has to win this little bet they have going! 

“Whatever ya gotta tell yourself sweetheart...” Billy came up behind Steve, close, too close. Whispered it in Steve’s ear. Steve should have known Billy was going to play dirty. Damn it, he won’t lose. But Christ, Billy’s hands feel so good holding his hips like this. “But I’m definitely going to win.” 

“You’re such a fuckin’ cheat Hargro- ahh” Steve slapped his hand over his mouth before finishing his sentence. 

“What was that pretty boy? Couldn’t hear you over your moaning?” Billy fully pressed himself up against Steve. Had him pinned to the nearest wall, face down. Just a piece of sheetrock separated them and Beth in the kitchen. Steve could tell the coconut breeze paint Beth picked out did not, in fact, taste like coconuts. He could also tell that Billy was going to be the biggest pain in the ass tonight, and so help him God...he might actually lose at this rate. 

“Killer, let go. Seriously, Beth could come back in here.” Steve pleaded, trying to shift under Billy’s weight. Hot breath met his ear again, 

“Good, you’ve always been a bit of an exhibitionist.” Billy tugged on Steve’s hips for more leverage, which elicited another soft sound from Steve.

“Mm-pretty sure that was you, actually.” Steve gave back.

“Hm... Yeah you’re right. Now c’mon baby, give me a kiss and i’ll let you up.” Billy bargained. 

“No. You’re not winning this one Hargrove and besides, the night is still young. Thought you liked the chase more than the win?” Steve is gonna have to up his game if he’s going to hold a chance. 

“Heh, you know me so well Stevie. Alright, let the game begin.” Billy let him up with a smirk. 

Steve shook his head at him before cutting through the living room to get to his office instead of going through the kitchen. Steve propeted himself against his desk as Billy took a look around.

“Wow. Gotta say babe, it kind of reminds me of your old man’s.” Billy criticized as he walked around the office space. It was definitely smaller than the Harrington’s man cave of an office but the feel was the same. Stagnate, lifeless,  _ ‘I don’t really want to be here, but I’d rather be in here than out there.’ _

“Shut up. I swear you’re just saying that to be mean now.” Steve defended with a pout and crossed his arms.

“I’m not. C’mon, tell me it doesn’t feel like where back in your old man’s house standing here like this.” Billy sauntered over to him, gave him a smirk, “maybe I should take you on top of your desk to jive your memory?”

“Oh my god! Stop!” Steve giggled recalling the memory of it. Jesus, that was a good weekend.

“There’s that smile.” Billy rested his hands on Steve’s hips, nuzzled his forehead against Steve’s in a sweet moment. Steve almost forgot about their bet and was  _ this _ close to going in for the kiss that they both so obviously wanted. 

“I literally hate you.” Steve closed his eyes and sighed, pulling back from Billy. “ _ Now _ you’re just being mean.”

“Hey now, since when is teasing being mean, kitten? If you want to give in then just give me a little kiss.” 

Steve literally groaned in frustration, Billy chuckled. Steve can’t remember the last time he needed to practice this much self control. Is it even worth it? He hasn’t even thought about what he’s going to make Billy do if he does somehow end up winning this. God he just wants Billy to slam him against the desk and-

“So where’s the next stop on this tour?” Billy asked, bringing Steve out of his thoughts.

“Uh...bedroom?” 

“Mmh. Now you’re talking my language Stevie. Lead the way.”

  
  


“It’s not much, Beth did most of the decorating if you couldn’t already tell.” Steve stood by the door of his bedroom.

“Considering there isn’t a 78’ Ferrari poster taped to the ceiling, I figured.”

“You’re so hilarious.” Steve snarked. He watched Billy walk around his bedroom, talking everything in. Billy has always had this calculating type of mind. He’ll see things and be able to read into it. It’s always fascinated Steve but sometimes it would freak him out. Like what he’s currently studying. Standing in front of Steve’s side of the dresser with a smirk on his face, like the cat that ate the canary. He’s staring at the more than half empty bottle of _Aramis,_ purposely pushed back behind his bottle of _Gentleman_ by Givenchy. Which Billy also must realize was a gift, most likely from Beth since Steve has always been a _Polo_ guy. Billy doesn’t even have to say it because Steve knows what's about to come out of his mouth. 

“Half empty huh? Must be an old bottle?” Billy’s eyes peeled up to meet Steve’s. 

“About 7 years to be exact…” Steve replied entering the room a bit more to lean against the bedpost.

“Little thief.” Billy snips playfully, reaching for the bottle and spraying a puff onto his neck. Steve audibly sighs as the scent fills the room. 

“Not stealing if it was left behind.” He paused to pull Billy into him so he could get a deeper whiff of it. 

“I used to spray it on my pillows.” Steve confessed with his nose buried in Billy’s neck. “When I’d be missin’ you like crazy, I’d spray it on my pillow and pretend you were there. I actually still do it sometimes. Stupid, right? The bottle was full when I found it in the apartment.” 

“Christ.” Billy groaned, splayed his hands over Steve’s hips. Steve pulled back a bit, just enough so he could see those blues. Blue eyes clearly undressing him, Steve might actually win this bet after all. 

“I would cum so hard with my face pressed into my pillow, thinking about you Tiger.” He said a little teasingly but they both know that it’s true, and Billy is trembling with want. Steve definitely has this one in the bag. He tries not to smile at the soon to be victory, just gives Billy his big needy eyes. Bites on his bottom lip so Billy’s eyes follow the movement and he growls with it. His grip grows tighter on Steve’s hips, gripping and releasing and gripping. Like he’s contemplating if he has the willpower to withstand the images Steve just painted in his head. Steve tries to innocently lean back towards the bed more, tugs Billy down with him. He’s slow close to winning, just a bit more-

"Hey boys, dinner is ready." Beth called up the stairs. And just like that Billy is saved by the bell. He wiggled his brows with a cocky smirk and pushed Steve off of him; Steve with the force of it fell back onto the bed all the way. 

"Told ya baby, gonna have to do better than that."

Billy said before leaving the room first. Steve wasted no time going after him though. They were like school boys wrestling and pushing each other to win the race to the cafeteria. Always so competitive, that was one of the ways they always kept it interesting.

"Have to do better my ass." Steve huffed pushing Billy as he passed him in the hall. Billy stumbled to catch himself and that's when Steve turned around and said, in that bratty tone Billy remembers so well;

"I told you to plant your feet, _ Hargrove _ ."

If you played the scene back in slow motion there's a distinct millisecond where you could visibly see a fire ignite in Billy's eyes. 

"You're dead Harrington!" 

Billy growled mean with sharp eyes, but that playful smile they've both been wearing never left their faces.

Steve took off running, giggling and yipping every time Billy caught his arm for a second. Like a kid being chased up the stairs. You know there's no real danger behind you but it's still a giddy, adrenaline rush.

How Steve managed to not trip down the stairs is a mystery to both of them, but when he did get to the bottom, Billy was right there behind him. Turned Steve around and caged him in. A lion catching a deer. It was heady and the perfect foreplay for them, that is if Beth wasn't twenty feet away.

"Whatchya gonna do now, tiger?"

Steve panted, pressed himself further against the wall. Billy followed him to close the gap. They're both trying to catch their breaths. Billy licked lips lip,

"Gonna eat ya alive bambi."

"That a threat or a promise?" 

"Oh it's a threat, I promise you that." 

Billy leaned down with intense eyes never leaving Steve's, like he was going to actually kiss him. But that would've been too easy a win for Steve. He faked a kiss only to whisper in his ear, 

"I told you to plant your feet, _ Harrington. _ " 

And before Steve really knew what was going on. Billy had him over his shoulder and was walking into the kitchen like the neanderthal he is. 

"Oh my god! Billy you're such a caveman put me down!" Steve laughed.

"You two seem to be having a time of it." 

Beth commented as Billy stepped into the kitchen with his bounty over his shoulder. 

"It sounded like a stampede upstairs, what the heck were you two doing?" She asked. 

"Oh you know, just boy stuff." Billy snarked as he put Steve back down.

"I swear if you two put a hole in my walls." She sighed "I don't understand why men never grow out of that rough play stuff." 

Steve and Billy sat down at the table as Beth began to distribute all the food. Billy chuckled, his eyes quickly met Steve's from across the table.

"Well, I'd tell you Beth, but you wouldn't understand it. It's a guy thing. Right Stevie?" Billy quipped, eyes narrowed on Steve. 

"He has a point. Most girls just don't get it." Steve explained poorly matching Billy's gaze.

"You're right, we don't. I mean come on, how is slamming someone into a wall and wrestling to the ground fun?" 

She asked, joining them at the table. Billy bit his lip trying to hold back a smile, a laugh. He wiggled his eyebrows at Steve. By Steve's very prominent blush they were clearly on the same page with this. 

"I don't know Beth. Steve? Why don't you explain to her why being slammed against a wall and wrestled to the ground is  _ fun _ ." 

If Steve could've moaned, he would have. Billy had weaseled his foot between Steve’s legs and it sat firmly on Stevie's crotch underneath the table. With a straight face and  _ that _ voice, firm but sweet but also so dangerous. Just blatantly asking him why he loves being manhandled, in front of his girlfriend no less! 

Christ, it'd be so much better if he could just show her why! Because all he wants is for Billy to throw him onto the table and fuck him. 

Beth may be none the wiser, but  _ this _ Billy, the one that doesn't care who sees. The one that would pull Steve onto his lap just to prove who Steve really belongs to. The one making him confess something like this with his balls as collateral if he refuses to answer…  _ Fuck _ . P _ ossessive _ Billy, the one that Steve called  _ Daddy _ as a joke but then it somehow turned into a  _ thing  _ way back when; he gets Steve from zero to one hundred and he can't think straight. 

"Ahh-I uh, um I mean… basketball." Steve sputtered out. 

"Basketball?" Beth question. Billy cocked his head, intrigued.

" _ Yeah _ -yeah." He cleared his throat, "Billy and I used to rough house cause basketball. It's a habit now. A  _ bad _ habit." 

Steve emphasized to Billy's amusement. Billy let up on the pressure of his foot and Steve sank a little in his chair, chasing after that pressure and friction. Billy smiled and rewarded him silently.

Steve faked a cough to cover up his whine. He could hear Billy in his head saying something stupid like "good boy" or "good job princess". And _Christ,_ who cares about chicken and potatoes when Billy's looking at him like that. When Beth is right here and thinks they're just boys being boys. When his foot is giving him all the right kind of attention. 

Thankfully Beth sat at the head of the table so she can't see that Steve has been grinding his hips up for the past five minutes. Billy is such a tease, applying more pressure then letting up right when Steve is feeling it. Fucker. Him and Beth are talking about living in Atlanta and how she grew up here. While Steve is ten seconds away from excusing himself to the bathroom to alleviate his ever growing erection. 

But then Beth flips the questions onto Billy and suddenly Steve is all focused again. He finds himself playing jeopardy in his head as he listens along. 

"I'm going on about me, Bill tell me about you. Where did you grow up? Are you from Hawkins like Steve?" 

"No. I actually grew up in California." Billy replied.

"Near San Diego." Steve added. 

"Yup, 'round the San Diego area. Mom died when I was seven." 

Steve wanted to correct him; she didn't die, she left him! But that's what Billy tells people. Less pity and less explanation." 

"Was just me dad until I was fourteen. He remarried and we moved into a new place with his wife and her daughter." Billy continued. 

"Max." Steve interjected again. Billy nodded in agreement, Beth kept looking between them.

"Then you moved again?" She asked. 

"Yeah well, some shit went down." 

Steve filled in the blanks for himself but kept quiet again.

"Ended up in Hawkins a few months before I turned seventeen. And that's when I met Stevie." 

"He was the world's biggest asshole when he first moved there." Steve decided to not keep that information private.

"I'm still an asshole though. But I had a chip on my shoulder when I was younger. Thought the world was out to get me so I had to get it first."

"Thank God he met me! I have no clue what he'd be like now if he didn't."

"Steve." Beth said it in a disapproving tone. 

"Hey. Gotta give credit where credit is due." Billy chuckled. "I owe everything ta’ him."

"Shut up." Steve smirked, tried not to let the blush deepen on his face but willing it away did little good while Billy just kept smiling at him.

"You shut up and just take the credit man." He laughed, "I wouldn't be alive or the man I am today if it wasn't for this guy right here." 

Billy was about to bring tears to Steve's eyes, 

"Oh wow, I didn't know you two had such a history together. I mean I know you said you were close but... I don't get why you both didn't stay in touch? Steve never mentioned you, not by name at least to my knowledge. Even if life separated you two, there's phones and email."

"Uh. We um, I couldn't." Billy stuttered. He was faltering, Steve could tell in his facial changes. Neither one really ever brought up a cover story because the people that were important enough to tell knew the truth. Nobody else had to know; they didn't really want anyone else to know. 

"He couldn't keep in touch with me because he was trying to get away from his father. If his dad knew he was still in contact with someone he'd be able to trace him." 

Steve stated as if it was fact. As if Neil actually gave a flying fuck what happened to Billy after he left the Hargrove residences that summer. 

"Why? Why did you not want your father to find you?" Beth’s curiosity was peaked.

"Beth." Steve said firmly. 

"Oh, sorry, I'm prying aren't I?" 

"Yeah, so stop." Steve defended, probably too roughly considering but… but it's Billy. His Billy and no one understands him more than Steve does. 

"I'm sorry Bill. I get carried away sometimes."

"It's alright." Billy replied, quickly taking a mouthful of the table wine and swallowing hard.

"Steve, did you ever tell Bill about how we met? It was a really funny thing actually." She went on to tell Billy before Steve cut her off.

"I already told him Beth. It wasn't that funny, it was embarrassing if anything." Steve snarked and Beth's face dropped. Dinner had officially become awkward. Billy took it in stride, took it as a win. He said it himself, he's still an asshole.

"Bill, can I ask you something?" Beth spoke.

"Go for it." 

"Do you know what's gotten into Steven lately? He's always so hot tempered and, and-"

"Bratty?" Billy supplied with a smirked and licked his bottom lips. Steve kicked him from under the table. Billy just laughed a bit harder. 

"I mean I guess that's one way to put it." Beth replied. 

"He's always been a brat, that ain't nothing new." Billy explained, dodging a second kick from Steve. 

"You know I'm right here, right? I can clearly hear both of you calling me a brat like I'm five years old." 

They both just stared at him for a second before Beth returned her attention to Billy. 

"I don't know, he just seems more hot headed and moody lately. Boys talk, if it was something important you'd tell me right? It's like he doesn't love me anymore." 

And there was a brief silence after that. Billy was having an intense conversation with the devil on his shoulder, taking a nice sip of wine; debating on what to say next when Steve decided on: 

"Beth, c’mon don’t be like this. You know I still love you." 

And Billy choked on that fine wine. Also spat it out across Beth’s linen tablecloth that probably costs more than Billy’s entire outfit did, including his shoes. He coughed into his napkin trying to recover himself quickly.

“Billy? Hey, you okay?” Steve, his gallant hero almost jumping across the table to get to him. Beth reached over to put a hand on Billy’s shoulder, he used all of his self control not to pull away from the touch.

“Yeah. Yeah- just swallowed wrong. I’m _ fine. _ ” He says all too unconvincingly, at least for Steve who clearly sees Billy’s knuckles bleeding into white as he’s gripping his fork. Steve feels like the world's biggest idiot. Which unfortunately isn’t that new of a feeling for the guy, but after re-evaluating what he just said in his head he wants to physically punch himself. In all honesty he does still love Beth, but not-not like _ that. _ Not the way Billy took it as. Not the way Beth probably took it as. Not the way it sounded. 

So as Steve is mentally kicking himself and having a crisis, Billy is two seconds from splitting his lip open with red, possessive, jealousy. Has to practically pry his jaw open to growl out something. Anything he can think of to get him and Steve as far away from this damn tea party as possible. 

_ “Steve.” _ It came out too raw, too raspy, too reprimanding in the self created silence. Billy cleared his throat again to try and gain some humanity back.

“You know what, you didn’t get to show me those pictures you mentioned before.” 

It’s so blunt, so vividly a getaway plan that even Beth has to realize it. It’s a big red spot on a white canvas. Like the wine stain Billy left in his napkin. And Steve immediately picks up what Billy is putting down. See’s the realization of it spark in his eyes.

“Right!” Steve barks before calming his voice. “Yeah, I completely forgot. They’re out in the garage. Come on, I’ll show you.” 

He wastes no time getting up. Billy is quick to follow but not without turning to Beth to thank her.

“Thank you Beth. Truly the meal was wonderful.” He gave her that shark grin that he perfected on Mrs. Wheeler all those years ago.

“Oh, um, well I’m glad you enjoyed it.” She gets out, not too surprising that she’s a little lost for words. Eyes somewhere between  _ just witnessed a car accident  _ and  _ sympathetic _ . For who? Billy’s not even sure if she knows. But dinner ends as abruptly as a trainwreck and Steve is already waiting for Billy at the garage door. 

Steve goes in first, he’s already in explanation mode. One hand on his hip, the other floating around in the air  _ (he blames his italian side for that habit _ ) and a defensive pout on his lips. But Billy doesn’t want to talk. He  _ knows _ . Knows exactly what Steve has to say and he doesn’t want to hear it. He wants… He wants Steve to show him and he just _ wants. _

So as soon as Billy closed the door behind him he shoved Steve up against the wall. Steve’s back hit it with a thud and those defensive eyes sparked into a wildfire. That pout turned into a whine between begging lips. Billy’s denim clad leg slid right between Steve’s thighs like a puzzle piece; caging the pretty boy in with his arms. No room left, no intentions of letting him escape. Billy lowered his head; hovered just inches away from Steve’s mouth with his own. Stevie just watched; his eyes darting between plush red lips and those ocean blues. 

“Billy?” 

He whispered, his voice barely making it past his lips that were suddenly so dry. So needy. So ready.

“Consider this me forfeiting.” 

Billy gruffed before closing the gap between them with a rough, predatory kiss. All teeth and tongue. It was a blessing in disguise that Steve was between a rock and a hard place because he got so dizzy with it he would have fallen over. He moaned, couldn’t help it, it was just so good. His body has been yearning for it for what feels like years. Billy growled with all that territorial passion that used to take Steve’s breath away. Still does apparently since he had to physically push Billy away so he could catch his breath. Billy protested with a sneer; his pupils were blown. Steve panted and watched him through half-lidded eyes; his head resting back against the wall. 

“You’re mine.” 

Is all Billy growled out before gripping Steve’s shirt and pulling him back into the kiss. Steve went willingly; he’s been dying for the past six hours for this. Dying to kiss Billy.  _ His Billy _ .

Billy’s hands are everywhere, tugging on him, holding him, digging fingers into his hips. He thrusted himself right against Steve, making Steve cry out and rocking down on Billy’s thigh.

“That feel good, princess?” 

Billy asked with those sharp teeth. Steve dug his nails into Billy’s shoulders trying to ground himself, keep control. Keep Billy from leaving so he can keep grinding on him like the teenager they think they still are.

“Want me to blow you baby?” 

“Oh fuck, Billy. Please!” Steve whimpered, begged.

“Then say it.” Billy’s voice dripped with sugar, a sweet demand he blew right in Steve’s ear.

“Yours. Christ, tiger I’m all yours.”

Billy smirked.

“Who do you belong to?” He asked as he began to nibble down Steve’s jaw. 

“Ahh. You-belong to you. Just you.” Steve panted out with anticipation.

“God, you’re so fucking good baby.” Billy praised him as he slowly dropped to his knees. His hands not far behind as they traced their way down Steve’s body, regrouped at his waist where he unbuttoned Stevie’s pants.

“Billy! Oh fuck-oh God!” 

“Shh baby, don’t want the Mrs. hearing ya now do you?”

“Shit.” Steve cursed and quickly covered his mouth with the back of his hand. Billy laughed before taking Steve’s length back into his mouth. 

“Mmmm” Steve moaned and whimpered, the sounds muffled against his hand. It didn’t do much in reality though. He raked his other hand through Billy’s blonde curls; like toes in the Californian sand. Everything felt so good, his whole body winding up in the best way. Billy groaned when Steve tugged rougher on his hair as he swallowed around him. 

“Bi-Billy-mm, gonna-oh fuck.” Steve stuttered out, barely able to talk. His body wound so tight he felt himself about to snap. 

“That’s it pretty boy. Come for me.” And Steve did. Came on command with Billy’s name on his lips. Billy swallowed him up like he was starving, like dinner wasn’t enough. Like he only came for the desert, which in all honesty he did. 

“Tiger-” Steve whined above him. Reached out both of his hands needy. Asking for him, or more like demanding him.

“Sorry.” Steve whispered into their embrace. A soft thing right in Billy’s ear and Billy hugged him tighter. 

“Don’t be kitten.” Billy shook his head before going in for a kiss. Something softer, gentler but not any less passionate. 

“I’m sorry for being a possessive asshole.” Billy apologized as he pulled his mouth away.

“Don’t be” Steve mimicked, “It’s hot. Really gets me going.”

“Is that right?” Billy grinned hungrily, flushing himself back against Steve. Still hard in his own jeans. 

“Need help with that Killer?” Steve smirked,

“Depends. Do you know a guy?” Billy quipped. 

“Yeah,” Steve chuckled breathy, “I think I know someone. He's kinda hot I guess, if you’re into plain jane pretty boys with amazing hair that is. But he’s really good with his hands.”

“Plain jane my ass Steve, you’re fucking gorgeous baby.” Billy pulled him in closer and planted a big wet kiss on him. Steve laughed pushing Billy and his tongue away. 

_

Steve actually did show Billy all the pictures for their past adventures. Let him keep whichever ones he wanted, especially from Steve’s _ private _ collection. They were out there for what felt like hours laughing and recalling whatever memories the picture dislodged from their heads. It was dark out and Beth had the kitchen entirely cleaned when the boys finally emerged from their safe haven. Faces and eyes red and splotchy from laughing too hard, which initiated the tears to start flowing. Billy had a pocketful of Polaroids as he made his way towards the front door. Steve and him saying their proper goodbye out in the garage. Steve just left him with a “I’ll talk to you tomorrow man” and a pat on the shoulder before sending him off.    
Billy had his foot out the door when Beth all but snuck up on him. 

“Bill?” She said making Billy stop in place. He turned facing her and leaned against the door frame. It felt like a standoff to Billy: perhaps Beth deep down felt like that too? It’s only natural to feel threatened and jealous when your partner seems happier with another person than with you.

“I’m so glad you were able to come over Bill. Steve always seems to cheer up when he talks about you. I know you two have history together, you know him. _ Really _ know him. I just have to ask you again, more serious this time. Is there something going on that I should know about? Is it work related? Or drugs?” And this standoff quickly became a trap with Billy as the prey. And Billy _ hates  _ feeling cornered. 

“Steve? Christ, the hardest thing that boy does is pot. He’s a good guy. A little moody sometimes but you shouldn’t get so upset about it Beth.  _ I’ll  _ be taking care of him, don’t worry.” Billy is never prey and no one should ever see him as anything other than a threat.

“Right…well, goodnight Bill.”

“Goodnight Beth.” Billy left with a smile on his face and his point very clearly written in stone on Beth’s face.  _ Check and mate. _

_

Steve is out in the garage picking up the mess of boxes and pictures he left splayed out over the floor the night before. He had knocked them over apparently when Billy shoved him against the wall and went down on him. He doesn’t really recall doing it but he honestly doesn’t recall much except how good it felt and the feeling of Billy’s hair between his fingers.

Apparently he hadn't closed the garage door all the way though, the one off of the kitchen. He didn’t think anything of it though. Still so preoccupied from last night's splendors that it slipped his mind that Beth was still in the house somewhere. Forgot that he wasn’t alone when Robin called him and demanded to know every little detail of what’s been going on.

“It’s been a week since we talked dingus! You need to feel me in!” 

Steve didn’t notice that Beth was hanging onto the doorframe; he had his back turned, sitting cross legged and occupied with his highschool-esque giggling and gossiping with his best friend. 

But Beth  _ was _ there, whether he knew it or not. Standing there listening to everything he was saying. She was there innocently, about to tell him she was off to her sister’s place. But then she heard him talking, laughing. Heard him mention the fire so she just assumed he was catching Robin up on what happened. She decided to wait to not to disrupt him. But as the conversation went on it progressed from unintentional eavesdropping to completely intentional. The universe sometimes has a way of pushing and pulling certain situations when people are too afraid to make a movie. This would definitely be one of those moments. 

“God Robs, I just love him so much.” Steve tittered to her, “like even more than I did back then! If that’s even possible.” 

“Yeah I don’t know about that, you guys were like teenage 80’s romance movie characters. Like it was actually gross” Robin teased on the other end. 

“I know!” Steve laughed. “But- like, okay, when we woke up together that morning-”

“Wait, when you say  _ that _ morning-”

“I mean the morning  _ after  _ he made me come like four times, and then another two times before we left.”

“Oh my God, Steve! Gag me with a spoon!”

“You asked! Shush! This is serious Rob, when we woke up together and I saw him right there, the first thing when I opened my eyes...I could see my future again. Like I was excited for it. It wasn’t just another day, it was like, like  _ wow this is my life. _ Ya’ know?

“Awe, my idiots found each other again and they love each other. I’m so happy for you Stevie.” 

“Me too Robs. I just don’t know what to do now. How do I tell Beth? I’m so tired of sneaking around like this. Like God, Billy almost died! I just never want to be apart from him again.”

“You’re gonna have to bite the bullet Steve and tell her. If you made your decision then you can’t keep dragging her along. It’s not fair.” 

“I know. Even Billy keeps asking me when I’m going to tell her. It’s just so hard. I don’t want to hurt her but I keep doing it.” 

Beth was holding back tears but apparently Billy was the password to opening up the damn. She knew it, women’s intuition or whatever but she knew it. She just didn’t want to believe it. Even after the implications Billy made himself last night, she was still going to just let it go.

“The longer you lie and cheat on her the more it’s gonna hurt her. Put on your big boy pants and just go talk to her, okay?” Robin lectured on the phone. 

“Yeah, okay.” Steve replied defeatedly. 

“Love you dingus.” 

“Love you too.” 

Beth left before Steve hung up. She left with her mangled thoughts and silent tears. Went to talk to her sister about what she just heard and what she should do herself. Steve continued to clean the garage up. It didn’t take him too long after Robin and him got off the phone but he was distracted still with the back and for texts he started with Billy not too long afterwards. By the time Beth had returned it was well after dinner time, Steve had fended for himself with a microwaveable meal. Beth scolds him for buying them but sometime you just need a good old fashion Banquet fried chicken tv dinner, ya know? 

Steve hears her come in. Doesn’t actually know exactly when she left to begin with and the guilt really kicks in when he realises it. 

“Hey Beth, you back?” He asks out loud even though he clearly hears her shuffling about.

“Yeah. I’m home.”

“Where’d you go?” Steve is still yelling to her from the living room. 

“I went to my sisters.” She replied, finally in view so Steve can see her.

“How is she?” Steve asked, trying to be friendly. Beth replied with a deep sigh.

“Steve, can we talk?”

“Yeah Beth of course, what’s up?” He gave her his full guilt ridden attention.

"We’re both adults so I feel like we should be able to talk about this openly.” Se adjusted herself. “Steve, I know we've been in trouble for a while now-”

“Wha-” he tried to interject but Beth continued.

“This was never going to work out for us. And I understand now and it's okay because I met someone else. I'm sorry."

"Beth? Wha- what are you talking about?" 

"I found someone else, I met him at one of my father's get togethers." She said too quickly. Too scripted. Steve knows she's lying. It's plain on his face that he doesn't believe her and when she can’t hold back her tears any longer she doesn’t even believe herself.

"Beth, tell me what's really going on." 

"I heard you.” She took a deep breath trying to gain her composure. She sat next to him on their floral pattern loveseat that belongs in a museum and not a house. 

“Yesterday, when you were on the phone with Robin; the door was open and I heard everything, Steve."

Panic vividly washed over Steve’s face quickly, Beth clearly saw it. She put her hand on his before he could bolt.

"No! No, Steve it's okay! I promise. I'm not going to lie, I was shocked at first. I was really heartbroken, well I still am honestly but I think it’s more so because you felt like you couldn’t talk to me about it. I though we’ve always been friends before anything else-”

“We are! It’s just in a situation like this…”

“I get it. I just wish you didn’t lie to me about being gay Steve. To think I’ve been forcing you this whole time. I just need to know, am I your _ beard _ ? Is that what our relationship has been for you, a cover?” 

“What? No, Beth, I’m not gay. I’m bisexual. You know I’ve dated girls before.”

“But Bill-”

“Billy is the only guy I’ve ever been with. Only guy I want to be with...he’s the only one for me Beth. I’m sorry.”

“Steve, don’t be sorry for who you love. You can’t control that.” There was a moment's pause where both of them were thinking, trying to rodeo their thoughts into one place.

“So can I ask you something?” Beth spoke up.

“Yeah, anything.” Steve flashed a smile and took her hand into his. 

“You and him, Bill that is, the reason you two are so close. All the history you have is because you were together before?”

“Yeah. Billy and I have been through hell and back together, and that was even before we were really dating.” Steve let out a light chuckle. “Since we’re getting it all out now I should tell you, the day we met back in college...I thought you were him. He had just broke up with me and I was a walking zombie at the time and you looked so much like him from behind my love sick mind just-”

Beth laughed in that involuntary way you do when you’re overwhelmed.

“The only reason we’re together is because you thought I was him? Steve, why-why didn’t you tell me from the start? You’ve been in love with him this whole time.”

“I’m sorry Beth. I’m so sorry for everything. But I really did fall in love with you. Our life together wasn’t a lie and I don’t regret it.”

“If we had moved somewhere else or if you never met Bill again, would you have married me?”

The silence alone was answer enough for her. 

“I just can’t see a life for myself without Billy in it. I really thought, maybe, with you but I was lying to myself. I swear it’s not you Beth! You’re amazing and in a world where Billy Hargrove and I never met-”

“Steve, don’t finish that sentence. Please. I don’t know your history or what really happened back then but I know enough that you wouldn’t be you if you never met him.”

“...yeah.” Steve agreed, defeated and then there was silence again.

“What do we do now?” He asked her softly. 

“I don’t know about _ us _ , but _ you _ have a man to go get.” Beth smiled. 

“Wait, are you serious?”

"I love you Steven. It's okay, really. I’ll break the news to my parents, although they might already know considering my sister has known for a few hours now." They both laughed and sniffled with their tears. 

"Beth...thank you, for everything. For just being you. For what it's worth, I love you too." 

"I know you do. Just not like you love him." 

"Hm. The sun doesn't even love the moon as much as I love Billy." 

-

Billy and Steve set off on their way to California to visit Heather and Robin. That was what Steve decided he wanted to do with his win. Drag Billy all the way back to Cali and spend a couple week with his best friends on the beach. It was a five hour flight with no layovers. But at least Billy could use Steve’s shoulder as a pillow. Steve loved being up in the air, watching the clouds. Billy however, not so much. He’d much rather be driving the camaro but they’re just visiting, Steve made the point of why put the extra miles on her. So they flew out instead.

Robin punched Billy when she picked them up from SAN, just like she promised. But Billy laughed it off, and said " _ nice right hook Buckley. _ " And they were inseparable again. The three amigos, plus the added member of Heather. 

But when it came time for them to leave two weeks later; after Billy took Steve to see his childhood home. To the beach he learned to surf at and to the school he went to. To the first bar he snuck into to see a punk band and to the park he'd run away to when shit got bad with Neil. To the house he'd drive past every day after school and dream of living there one day. 

After they walked past a little apartment for rent up in Santa Monica when they wanted to check out the boardwalk. How it reminded them of Billy's old apartment, their first apartment back in Hawkins. They didn't even know why they decided to check it out considering they were supposed to head back to Georgia in a few days. Pick up the pieces and start over together. Billy was supposed to run Johnny’s place until he fully recovered. And Steve wasn’t fired after all, Beth blamed the break up on herself so save face for Steve.

But nevertheless they did go to see the apartment. They made an appointment with a realtor and they evidently fell in love with the place. Faster still is how they fell in love with a new life in California. The same old comforts of their past, old friends, a familiar apartment, each other. Warm days and warmer nights. Those old plans they made about living in Cali seemed all too possible now. Steve is working at a little upstart hipster graphic company and Billy became a teacher (well a surf instructor while he's going to school for his English degree.) Adopting a dog together from the local shelter. Having all the kids come visit them and take them to a  _ real _ beach with the ocean.

So it wasn't that surprising really, that they ended up staying. And even though it took them seven long years, they finally ended up right where they always knew they’d be. 

Together. 

(PS. Dustin ended up driving the Camaro to Cali for Billy somehow. 

“I swear to God shithead if there is a _ scratch _ on her when you get here i’mma-”

“Oh my god! Billy, I’m twenty-two years old! I know how to drive a damn car, asshole!” 

Billy made him call him at every rest stop. It was the most nerve wracking thirty-seven hours for the both of them. Will drove the Bimmer, needless to say he was a lot less ocd over it than Billy was.

“Yeah, just make sure you top off the fluids every so often and stay on the thruway.”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that this literally took me months to finish! It ended up being like 100 pages long and that kind of blows my mind. But anyways, here it is! Finally finished and I can now move on and drown myself in writing another fic! I hope ya'll enjoyed this ride with me!!


End file.
